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Original poster

How to ask MIL to go home on Saturday?

600 replies

BloomsButtons · 26/12/2018 13:59

MIL has been with us since Saturday. As far as DH and I knew she was coming for a week but apparently she's told our DC and my Mum that's she's here until after new year.

I need some time these holidays to chill out and DC 3&4 want to go and visit DC1 this weekend and he lives near MIL. How can I politely tell her that DH is taking DC to visit other DC and so he'll take her home at the time?

I know this doesn't seem all that hard but DH won't say anything so I'll have to do it but I don't want to cause major offence.

DC 3&4 are 14 & 12 year olds. DC1 is 24.

OP posts:
ChristmassyContessaConSparkles · 27/12/2018 19:37

them both calling you from a pig to a dog behind your back

Off-topic, but I've never heard this phrase before and love it Grin

NotANotMan · 27/12/2018 19:38

Ugh what a dick your H is

Cakemadeoffruit · 27/12/2018 19:38

You and DH give a presented front. He is driving her home on Saturday. He IS driving her own on Saturday. And repeat. If this man child would rather put his children on a bus than speak to her, then I would be having some serious thoughts with yourself about your future together.

However should he not be willing to speak to her now and you need to speak to him away from her, tell them you'll take your children and stay in her empty house until she's ready to come home.

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PoshPenny · 27/12/2018 19:40

OMG you poor thing, your husband is being so weak. I think you need to kick off to some extent or the other and make it crystal clear how you feel. I can't believe he's so wet that he'd rather upset you and send the kids on the bus than tell her her it's time she went.

I presume she won't be invited again, ever?

Bluesmartiesarebest · 27/12/2018 19:44

Are there any relatives or friends that MIL really hates? Any food that she refuses to eat? Tomorrow is the time to make her visit a lot less comfortable so she’ll be glad to leave on Saturday.

GinIsIn · 27/12/2018 19:47

Time to tell your twat DH that she’s no longer staying until Saturday, she can fuck off tonight and he can bloody go with her!

BubonicWoman · 27/12/2018 19:47

I agree with pp. Down tools. You have fulfilled your duties. How dare he disappear out of the sitting room and leave you to it but then refuse to arrange for her to go home
Go away on Saturday if she is still there

timeisnotaline · 27/12/2018 19:48

She is being very rude. You don’t have to be polite back!
‘I don’t think so’ can be met firmly with ‘the boys are absolutely too young to go on the bus alone, I can’t even think about what could happen’ followed by ‘so dh will be leaving at 11, let me know if you need any bags etc.’

Whisky2014 · 27/12/2018 19:49

What the fuck is he playing at?

Whisky2014 · 27/12/2018 19:49

Do not lift a finger for either of them

PickAChew · 27/12/2018 19:50

Yep. Definitely a good time for an extra spicy turkey curry. Or for the kids to have friends around for some gaming.

Jacksback · 27/12/2018 19:55

Bookmarking
I am enthralled by this thread
Op please keep us updated
You can do this !

Aaaahfuck · 27/12/2018 19:56

Just coming back for updates. You can do this op! Your husband needs a kick up the arse.

youaremyrain · 27/12/2018 19:59

Surely you can find a last minute spa break for you and DH while the DC are away?!
"Oooooh look DH! That hotel we've always wanted to go to has just emailed me with an offer of dinner/room etc for cheap pounds! Only available this sat-whenever DC get back! We can set off when you get back from taking MIL home...etc"

ZoeZebra1 · 27/12/2018 20:02

I don't get why this is so difficult, just say "mil DH is taking you home Saturday and we have plans thereafter."
Can you go to your mum's Saturday either way so at least you get a break from them both.

SummersB · 27/12/2018 20:04

I really don’t understand the problem? Why don’t one of you just say „on Saturday DH is leaving at x o’clock, he’ll drop you home on the way. Hope that time suits you, can leave a bit earlier/later if you prefer.
Honestly I am the least confrontational person in the world but it’s really not that hard!

dustarr73 · 27/12/2018 20:08

@SummersbB the dh doesnt have the balls to tell his dm to go home.
So hes part of tbe problem.

thebaronetofcockburn · 27/12/2018 20:10

Does he want her to stay?

He doesn't and leaves the room to avoid her, lumping the OP with her.

So down tools, leave her with him from now on.

There would be no sexy time, either. 'Just can't get in the mood I'm so upset that you'd rather compromise our own children's safety than stand up to your mother. It's made me really question things and I need some headspace to consider it all.' And then roll over and go to sleep.

HunkyDory69 · 27/12/2018 20:10

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HunkyDory69 · 27/12/2018 20:11

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Handsfull13 · 27/12/2018 20:11

Tell her that dh is taking the boys and will be dropping her off will x time in the morning be ok for her to be ready.

If she tries to argue then ask her for her keys, if she wants to stay with your husband fine but you'll drop the boys off and have a we'll earn break at her house. Let dh see in the new year with his mother.

thebaronetofcockburn · 27/12/2018 20:12

Surely you can find a last minute spa break for you and DH while the DC are away?!

Surely you realise that a) not everyone has 'a couple hundred pounds' laying round this time of year to blow because their h has no spine and b) most places are pretty booked up now as it's holiday season and c) some people don't like spas.

BubonicBudgie · 27/12/2018 20:16

I think your DH is worse than Mil.
How can you live with such a spineless idiot ?
Actually when he started looking at bus spaces you should have said That's it. I'm done. And got your DH to take her home then

Mummylife2018 · 27/12/2018 20:17

LTB

dustarr73 · 27/12/2018 20:19

I'd just whisper to dh its a pity his dm is staying.As what you had planned is off the table.

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