How to ask MIL to go home on Saturday?

[BloomsButtons]

MIL has been with us since Saturday. As far as DH and I knew she was coming for a week but apparently she's told our DC and my Mum that's she's here until after new year.

I need some time these holidays to chill out and DC 3&4 want to go and visit DC1 this weekend and he lives near MIL. How can I politely tell her that DH is taking DC to visit other DC and so he'll take her home at the time?

I know this doesn't seem all that hard but DH won't say anything so I'll have to do it but I don't want to cause major offence.

DC 3&4 are 14 & 12 year olds. DC1 is 24.

Oh OP I was so upset for you when I read about you at your mums but very relieved to hear that your DH finally sorted it. I think unfortunately when it comes to MIL it’s going to always be a battle of who is making your DH feel worse. So stick with your guns and if heaven forbid she doesn’t leave then go straight back to your mums. Make sure your DH knows that for all future visits you will not agree a duration you can handle with a set arrival and departure date and time and if it doesn’t go to plan then you will be out of the door for him to deal with her alone. He will hopefully decide that offending his mother who he doesn’t live with is easier than offending his wife who he does.

sweetieepie
That's so sad but it's not too late if you are miserable. You can change the situation. Why not start a thread of your own?

I haven't read any of the other comments, but for us the holidays are quite long , if she has traveled she obviously lives quite far away , and doest get to spend much time with you guys, if it were me I would be offended ''you cant help feelings getting hurt here'' i would say dont say anything , just let her stay the extra day, take the advantage of her being there as baby sitter and go out with your hubby, OR you cans till go out with your family for the day and have alone time ... it is hard having people stay ,,, but if you do end up asking her to go its not up to you to ask her .. and if you do then i would assume it will go down wrong, its your husbands mother so its up to him

@Sweetieepea

Sending hugs

searbear I'm pretty sure she was intending to stay an extra week, not a day!

Keeping fingers crossed that she's actually gone ...

@Searbear MIL wanted to stay another week.

I can report that they left at 11:15 and should have about an hour to go now. DH thought I'd go too, sardined in the back of the car, and was a bit put out that I wouldn't go.

Now lying on the couch watching Chicken Run and enjoying the peace.

Great result.

I do have to wonder what must have been going through your DH's head thinking that you might have wanted to be in the back of the car going to drop his mother home???

Enoy watching Chicken Run! I know I am

DH thought I'd go too, sardined in the back of the car, and was a bit put out that I wouldn't go.

Of course he did. He's used to using you as an entertainer/buffer for is mother and enabling him. See how different it is now you have stopped doing that and taken back what control you can?

He doesn't like being the bad guy.

Oh well done OP. Enjoy your time alone. You really deserve it after your week from hell. Hopefully your dh will pay more attention to your needs in future.

DH thought I'd go too, sardined in the back of the car, and was a bit put out that I wouldn't go 😁

I have visions of him, trapped in the car while his mother talks AT HIM, all the way home. She’ll then insist that he has a cup of tea and some food, after the long drive. While he’s there, he’ll be asked to fix a broken thingy’m’bob, etc. Enjoy your mil and ‘D’H free day, OP.

DH and boys due back tomorrow. DH is staying with his mum tonight, that should be fun .

I can't get used to her not being here!

DH is staying with his mum tonight, that should be fun

OP, you got revenge on your silly husband, without even trying. Please update us tomorrow, with the complaints that your husband will make when he gets home. Chances are that he will come home in a bad mood and suddenly find his spine, when it comes to grumbling to you.

Why is he staying with her?! Is he annoyed you didn't go?

DH thought I'd go too, sardined in the back of the car, and was a bit put out that I wouldn't go

This is just precious

Enjoy yourself! You can do whatever you like. Did he expect you to stay at her house with him?

Happy days OP - so are you home alone for 24 or do you have DC2 with you? Either way, kick back, relax, get a takeaway and enjoy the peace!!

Well done OP!....if you want to imagine a worse situation...over her week’s stay MIL has asked if she can come live with us and DH is having a huge sulk because I said I thought there were some issues with the idea😖😖.

Delighted to hear you’re news op. I have really felt for you throughout this thread. Just a shame that it took you to leave before he tackled the issue. I wish I was as brave as you.

The whole house to yourself for 24hrs! Good result OP

OMG Blinky!!

DS2 is here but he's 18 and pretty much does his own thing.

DH is staying over because he doesn't like doing the return journey in one day, never has. We sometimes stay with her and sometimes at a hotel when we're in her neck of the woods.

So you were expected to squash into the car and stay over at hers tonight? When you could have a day and evening relaxing by yourself?

Buttery yes I was!

What did your DH say when you said you weren’t going?

It all came out when I joked about going to the cinema tonight using a voucher I got as a gift. He said 'but it's only valid here?' I said I knew that and he said 'but I thought you were coming too?!' When I said there was no real, practical room in the car and hadn't planned on going he said 'oh, right' and was very quiet for the rest of the morning.

Turns out all the DC thought was going too . Very strange! Why on earth would I have wanted to go?!