How to ask MIL to go home on Saturday?

[BloomsButtons]

MIL has been with us since Saturday. As far as DH and I knew she was coming for a week but apparently she's told our DC and my Mum that's she's here until after new year.

I need some time these holidays to chill out and DC 3&4 want to go and visit DC1 this weekend and he lives near MIL. How can I politely tell her that DH is taking DC to visit other DC and so he'll take her home at the time?

I know this doesn't seem all that hard but DH won't say anything so I'll have to do it but I don't want to cause major offence.

DC 3&4 are 14 & 12 year olds. DC1 is 24.

I would just get up in the morning,drop your kids off.And just go out somewhere for the day by yourself.I wouldnt even bother asking now,Just go and make yourself scarce .Let him deal with her.

Good luck for today op. Don't back down!!

I’m sorry op but your husband doesn’t want confrontation with his mother. He obviously isn’t bothered about confrontation with you.

Good luck OP!

Tell her on the way out that you hope she enjoyed her stay as it won't be happening again next year as you've already got plans

I've never really understood problematic MILs until I met one of my son's school friends grandmother. Everything her DIL told me about the horrible summer holiday she'd had to endure became really clear in 10mins of conversation!

Hope it goes well today. I’m amazed you haven’t killed DH by now but good luck!

Just take your two you gets and go and see your oldest DC.your h can sort his own Mother out and that way at least you get something out of the holidays.
When left to his own devices with her im fairly sure he won't be going for a repeat next year 🤷🏽‍♀️

Any progress OP? x

OP good luck for today. but what strikes me about your last two updates is that you're still not tackling your DH head on.
Just spoke with DH who asked me what was happening with the boys. I said I don't know. - what you should have said is that he's taking them on Saturday and his mum is going too.
when he'd be planning on taking his Mum home... NEXT SATURDAY!!! I said I'd be back at work by then having had no holiday Why didn't you say 'over my dead body'?
I'll make sure I'm there for that conversation and when she says 'after NY' I'm going to jump in and say Saturday suits us better, nope, you say that she's leaving tomorrow as agreed. Suits us better is just wet and allows DH and her to say that it suits them better for her to stay.

You're playing nice with DH and he's taking advantage. Stand up to him and tell him what the consequences will be if she stays. If you're feeling brave you might actually tell him it's you or his mother. You might not like the answer, but you'll know where you stand.

Fingers crossed for your plan. 🤞

You all know the crazy thing? DH rolls his eyes if my mum comes by for whatever reason and yet I'm expected to put up with this hmmconfused

Have you pointed that out to him?!

Whatever happens with your MIL’s visit ending, I suggest that you book some relationship counselling with DH before the next visit to discuss why he is prepared to see his wife and children treated so badly by his mother.

You also both need to do an assertiveness course to learn how to stand up for yourselves. If DH refuses, you could complete the training by yourself. I can guarantee it would be money well spent as I found it very helpful in dealing with difficult family members.

If you go op, take the TV remote with you!!

bluesmarties
Where did yiu find this assertion training

santa ha! Good shout!!

Hopefully op is busy helping MIL pack up all her stuff ready for tomorrow's departure!

OP, your plan is perfect. Definitely leave (and I love the idea of taking the remote!).

What time are you speaking to her op?

Santaisonthesherry
'If you go take the tv remote with you'
I love it

Haven't read any of the replies but just to let you know that I'm at my Mum's.

Oh OP hope you are okay x

Ah bugger

Oh, Blooms, it's sad that it's come to that, but you had to do something to show him that you'd had enough. Hopefully it will give your DH some space for him to do some thinking about what is important to him. Good luck.

I bet your pathetic H gets her gone quick smart when he has to entertain her and you are no longer there as a buffer

Being someone's Mum doesn't give anyone the right to behave badly. Don't treat her with respect because she's DH Mum - treat her as you would any rude person.

That's how I deal with my boundary-less, selfish mother anyway.

You have been so patient for years, you don't deserve this sort of treatment op.