How to ask MIL to go home on Saturday?

[BloomsButtons]

MIL has been with us since Saturday. As far as DH and I knew she was coming for a week but apparently she's told our DC and my Mum that's she's here until after new year.

I need some time these holidays to chill out and DC 3&4 want to go and visit DC1 this weekend and he lives near MIL. How can I politely tell her that DH is taking DC to visit other DC and so he'll take her home at the time?

I know this doesn't seem all that hard but DH won't say anything so I'll have to do it but I don't want to cause major offence.

DC 3&4 are 14 & 12 year olds. DC1 is 24.

That post has so many mistakes, sorry. Symptoms is sympathies.

If she ends up staying, due to her being a cow and your H being a wet lettuce, go to your mum’s until school goes back. The spineless git might grow some balls once he doesn’t have you as a buffer for her delightful company.

KindleAndCake I could be in your shoes this time next week. My MIL told us she was visiting for NY and has told us she will be arriving on Saturday or Sunday she doesn’t have an end date I have tried to get DH to press for this but it was hard enough finding out when she would arrive so fear it may be a long visit. I will be charming and hospitable for the first two to three days but after that I will be back at work and will be making sure I am either out with friends at the cinema reading or having an early night. And I will be getting the hoover out before I go to work if need be.

@kindleandcake She has your symptoms also. Both make sense

You simply have to put your foot down, OP. In fact I'd tell him to go and stay with her - she'd love that, I bet - and if he didn't grow a spine he could bloody well live there.

Time for big girl pants. What is the worst she can do? Say she’s never been so insulted and won’t stay again? Result! Smile nicely and Tell her you’ve spoken to husband and he’s definitely taking her Saturday... it’s too expensive otherwise, and you’ve got stuff to sort. If she says anything at all ... repeat ... and again. Tell husband if he doesn’t back you up he will also be going Saturday and staying with her permanently. If you choose to do nothing then that means you have her at least another week... or till the Saturday before you go back to work. It really is your choice (unfortunately). Good luck pa I would do it with a very large gin in my hand

You ok OP? @BloomsButtons

I wonder if being a terrible host back at her would work. "Ooh, MIL here just cut my toenails will ya it's easier than me having to reach ta luv" "phwoar, what is it about dogs farts, or is your gut still giving you gyp after those brussels? Here drink nothing but this broth I made especially for you, it's miraculous [give her cup of minging broth]. "Ooh sorry I'm a bit stiff today, your son had his cheeky way with me sixteen times last night, pass me that cushion to sit on will ya?" "I've put us all on the cabbage soup diet now christmas is over. Nothing but cabbage soup until Monday for everybody in this house, isn't that wonderful?"

I am feeling quite good after all this - have been to DD and her DH for Christmas and volunteered to go home a day early to give them a night on their own, even though DD said tomorrow would be fine.They are off to visit her DH's family abroad tomorrow for New Year. Didn't want to outstay my welcome!

Oh I know go full on teenager and walk around with your headphones in and music blasting 24/7

I think you need to bring your husband into the room with your mil and say to her, in front of him, "as lovely as it has been to have you, I really need a proper break while the kids are away so dh will be taking you home on Saturday."
Any arguments to the contrary, "no that doesn't work for me, I need a break, one week is what was agreed and I need us to stick to that."
Any further protests and I would just lose the rag- fuck it - they would need to be really rude to continue protesting so why shouldn't you be.

I don't know how you've done it this long OP! I hate having guests stay and honestly wouldn't offer in the first place unless it was somebody I genuinely didn't kind as company (eg my mum or best friend) MIL and FIL, as lovely as they are wouldn't be getting a look in! It's so much work and they are the type of people that always need to be entertained😫😩

A week is mental, 1-2 nights max for me. I hate staying at other people's houses though myself so maybe that's why I'm so against it?

Your DH is crazy, he'd rather the kids go on the bus by themselves over him driving them and having to tell his mother that she has outstayed her welcome? You need to cut his crap OP, tell him he either tells her or they're both out on the Saturday and you get the house to yourself. He can go stay at his mothers it needs be.

Oh forgot, good luck!

Cabbage soup diet for you all, headphones singing along to your fave songs blaring with a drink in your hand and invite a few characters around and a few of the DC’s friends round also. Ask MIL aid she wants to pitch in to help clean the loo.

I'd be telling dh either he gets rid of her or ill be paying to stay at a hotel.

What exactly he fuck is wrong with that cowering specimen you married? You find that quivering feeble mess attractive? You feel honoured, cherished and protected? He sounds shambolic. Spell it out to the nob that he can fuck off with his whingy ma unless he can prioritise his chosen family. I have toxic relatives and have nooo bother removing them from my property, don’t let yourself feel sorry for any of these people, get them out, ffs.

OP, you have a DH problem.

Tell your husband it's up to him to sort it out, you are doing your own thing. Mil would probably prefer to go home as you have plans. If you don't think he will sort it, wait until they are in the same room and say have you sorted out what time you are going on Saturday? You won't be around and don't want mil to be here on her own.
Hopefully your dh will have to do something about it. If you get stuck just go out and do your own thing.

Hope you’ve got it sorted op

Tell us where you live @Dowser and we will organise a team of MNers in high vis posing as council workers to evacuate your street due to a possible chemical incident! 10am on Saturday? We will say you've got an hour to evacuate then your DH can take MIL and DC and leave you in peace

Some hilarious responses here 😂. Especially like the cabbage soup diet.

My mil died 18 years ago 😱

And my 42 year old and 37 year old children wouldn’t like being rounded up...unless it involved a really nice dinner and a lot of booze 😂

@Dowser sorry about that, my phone told me that you were the OP - strange!

Well. Just spoke with DH who asked me what was happening with the boys. I said I don't know. He said if they're not getting the bus (he agreed this is a bad idea) they'll have to wait.

I offered the choice of his Mum going home or me going to hers with the boys. I then asked when he's back at work after NY and when he'd be planning on taking his Mum home... NEXT SATURDAY!!! I said I'd be back at work by then having had no holiday. He left it with 'I'll ask Mum tomorrow when she's going'.

I'll make sure I'm there for that conversation and when she says 'after NY' I'm going to jump in and say Saturday suits us better. Not next week at some point, not Sunday but Saturday.

If I'm pushed to go with the boys I'll either stay there until I really have to come back or will go to my Mum until this is over. I'll also be very clear that this will NOT be happening again.