Asda have fucked up my Christmas food shopping: a rant.

[EwItsAHooman]

Need to rent here so that I don't end up losing my temper with some undeserving person on the customer services helpline.

Booked my online food shop several weeks ago to be delivered tonight. Have gotten an email from Asda now detailing everything that has either been substituted or is not available. Out of 100 items, 28 have been substituted and 5 are unavailable.

Fucks sake.

And the substitutions.... What in the actual fuck!?

40 cocktail sausages, for making pigs in blankets, have been substituted for 12 cocktail sausages. How far do they think 12 will go!?

Frozen party food. A box of mini pizzas has been substituted for one pizza. Selection of Indian snacks has been substituted for spring rolls. Duck rolls have been substituted for spring rolls too. We'll be drowning in spring bloody rolls.

Sausage rolls have been substituted for a pack of Richmond sausages.

A pack of mixed "festive" cheeses has been substituted for a single block of Wensleydale.

Pickled gherkins are now pickled cucumbers.

Extra special fancy flavoured stuffing is now normal Paxo.

Turkey gravy has become chicken gravy granules.

Pretzel stars are now tortilla rolls.

Mint vienetta has become lemon ice cream.

These are just the ones I can remember without going back over the email.

And the kicker, the Birds Eye dippers have been substituted for Asda chicken nuggets. The dippers are for DS because he only eats fucking dippers (ASD) and only Birds Eye fucking dippers.

Unavailable items include cranberry sauce, goose fat, chicken skewers, and a few other things.

So 33% of the shopping is wrong and/or missing.

Customer services have been next to useless and I'm waiting on a manager calling me back (which is why I need to unload so that I can get all my fucks out now and then discuss it calmly when he/she does). Said to give any unwanted items to the driver and they'll refund them, which is all well and good but why have they fucked it up so badly in the first place? When it was ordered weeks ago, why wasn't the stock available? I expected one or two missing or substituted bits but thirty-fucking-three!?

So now I need to get the DC sorted, including one with ASD who hates the supermarket and is going to screech at top volume all the way there and all the way around (enjoy that, fellow shoppers!), will probably the violent somewhere between the checkout and the carpark so I can have a few festive thumps, and might even run off depending on exactly how busy it is. Which is why I shopped online in the first place.

And I can't even pour myself a gin and calm down because I've got to go to the fucking supermarket.

Sorry.

Just been to Waitrose. Car park full of spaces, shop full of produce. Sorted.

Asda are renowned for this. I only ever did two online shops with them years ago. Learned my lesson when they tried substituting quorn for the real thing...

Next year try a better supermarket.

So is it Ocado and Morrisons that deliver from a warehouse and Waitrose, Asda,Tesco & Sainsburys that deliver from the local shop?

That is good to know.

Never found anything worth buying in asda, just cheap crappy food made from cheap crappy ingredients.

@Kirsteninakilt most Sainsbury's and Tesco deliveries come from local stores but they also have a few dark stores too.

thanks DeadCertain

I have ordered from Asda before and the thing I find is that they email on the day regarding the subs/out of stock but if you then don't want the rest of the order either because too many subs or because the items out of stock were the main reason for the shop and the other items just adds ons, you cannot cancel the order as it is too late.

@Kirsteninakilt when do you expect Asda to email about subs/out of stock items? They don't know what the customer has ordered until the day of delivery.

I've been ordering from Ocado for years and never had a problem with Xmas missing items/substitutions.

UNTIL THIS MORNING.

Loads of piss-poor useless substitutions and some missing items with nothing substituted (including Xmas pudding ).

All stuff I checked out weeks ago and haven't changed since then. There's no excuse.

Fuck you, Ocado.

Tesco deliveries near us come from a warehouse . My dsis has ordered a few bits in Morrisons , mainly a GF Christmas cake and starters and although her order was correct lots of people in the queue were moaning . One lady had done an order which cost £120 and she had been told they only had £70 worth of her order , they also had no Christmas puddings . I collected the turkey crowns etc from M &S today and it was extremely well organised and stress free .

C00lio Did you contact ocado? They didn't have my chicken available to come with my morning order yesterday but got me a chicken by last night!

Ooh, good tip MrsLJ2014 - I'll remember that in future!

I used to use Asda for online shopping and they were so consistently crap, that I stopped bothering.

On the (rare) occasions I want an online shop now, I use Morrisons as they are very good.

TBH I find it easier just to go myself. Went yesterday at 6am and it was great - nice and quiet, shelves were full, lots of staff to ask if you couldn't find something. However, I appreciate that not everybody is able to bob to the supermarket as easily.

to everyone who has had an online delivery cocked up. Hope you have managed to get sorted and that you have a lovely day.