Asda have fucked up my Christmas food shopping: a rant.

[EwItsAHooman]

Need to rent here so that I don't end up losing my temper with some undeserving person on the customer services helpline.

Booked my online food shop several weeks ago to be delivered tonight. Have gotten an email from Asda now detailing everything that has either been substituted or is not available. Out of 100 items, 28 have been substituted and 5 are unavailable.

Fucks sake.

And the substitutions.... What in the actual fuck!?

40 cocktail sausages, for making pigs in blankets, have been substituted for 12 cocktail sausages. How far do they think 12 will go!?

Frozen party food. A box of mini pizzas has been substituted for one pizza. Selection of Indian snacks has been substituted for spring rolls. Duck rolls have been substituted for spring rolls too. We'll be drowning in spring bloody rolls.

Sausage rolls have been substituted for a pack of Richmond sausages.

A pack of mixed "festive" cheeses has been substituted for a single block of Wensleydale.

Pickled gherkins are now pickled cucumbers.

Extra special fancy flavoured stuffing is now normal Paxo.

Turkey gravy has become chicken gravy granules.

Pretzel stars are now tortilla rolls.

Mint vienetta has become lemon ice cream.

These are just the ones I can remember without going back over the email.

And the kicker, the Birds Eye dippers have been substituted for Asda chicken nuggets. The dippers are for DS because he only eats fucking dippers (ASD) and only Birds Eye fucking dippers.

Unavailable items include cranberry sauce, goose fat, chicken skewers, and a few other things.

So 33% of the shopping is wrong and/or missing.

Customer services have been next to useless and I'm waiting on a manager calling me back (which is why I need to unload so that I can get all my fucks out now and then discuss it calmly when he/she does). Said to give any unwanted items to the driver and they'll refund them, which is all well and good but why have they fucked it up so badly in the first place? When it was ordered weeks ago, why wasn't the stock available? I expected one or two missing or substituted bits but thirty-fucking-three!?

So now I need to get the DC sorted, including one with ASD who hates the supermarket and is going to screech at top volume all the way there and all the way around (enjoy that, fellow shoppers!), will probably the violent somewhere between the checkout and the carpark so I can have a few festive thumps, and might even run off depending on exactly how busy it is. Which is why I shopped online in the first place.

And I can't even pour myself a gin and calm down because I've got to go to the fucking supermarket.

Sorry.

Yes I'm in Scotland, didn't realise the English (and welsh?) stores would be closed. I go every Sunday when I finish work at 11pm.

It baffled us when I worked in Glasgow for a year. We were rushing to get to Asda before it shut, so I googled to see whether it was 10-4 or 11-5 (larger stores above a certain square footage can only open for 6 hours on a Sunday) and discovered is was 24/7. Mind. Blown. 😂

Last year I ordered a turkey and it was substituted for....drumroll please....4 chicken breasts 🤨

My local Iceland still have some slots. Saved my neck today after Tesco (normally amazing here) let me down.

You have all my sympathy, Asda did this to me two years ago except half of my shopping was just missing (and charged for!). Despite numerous complaints and escalating the matter after Christmas, I never got all my money back and stopped shopping with them. I had to go and do my shopping on Christmas eve with a new born.

Asda have substituted my turkey from one costing 13 for one at 4 im scared delivery between 8pm and 9 pm

I have a delivery saver for Tesco, Asda and Morrisons. I used to have one for Sainsburys but the drivers got a bit weird.

My local experience is that Morrisons is best for veg, Asda is a law unto itself and Tesco are best overall. However, at Christmas all bets are off.

Ours came from Tesco this morning. Only one short dated product and no subs - generally they're pretty good round here.

I've also had a nightmare from Asda home delivery this weekend.

22 subs. Really crap subs where the quantity is shocking. For example my 450g of nuts has been substituted for a 150g bag. Massive bag of prawns has also been substituted for a tiny bag half the size. Family tub of ice cream substituted for a tiny one-person tub. Box of biscuits substituted for a small barrel of biscuits. ALL my substituted items are substantially smaller in quantity and will no way to around our large family.

7 items unavailable and therefore not delivered.

11 items assumed left on the delivery lorry as they are classed as delivered but no sign of them. I'm guessing the driver missed a crate of shopping. Have been charged for all these items.

All my bottles of spirits have the security tag left on so they can't be opened.

My DC is autistic so going to the shop is totally out of the question. Avoiding the shops with DC was the whole point of ordering the damn food shop online in the first place.

Fuck you Asda

The cynical part of me thinks this is done on purpose to get you in store so you end up purchasing impulse items as well as those essentials they didn't deliver

It's not done for that reason certainly at Sainsbury's @Stoneagemum. For me the timing would be crucial were I to shop online; I'd not order an early delivery as often the products aren't replenished when picking starts, then I'd not order a later afternoon one either as customers may have bought whatever it was that you had ordered. I'd probably go for late morning - 1100 or so - as the products will have been replenished and it most likely will still have been picked before the supermarket opens or when it's only just opened so very few customers about (the exception being Christmas when our store has been total carnage from the second the doors have opened from about Wednesday this week).

I think Ocado were eavesdropping on me last night. I found a stash of Christmas Cake so hadn't needed the one I'd ordered for today. When my delivery came the cake was OOS with no sub so that was pleasing.

Somewhere along the line they lost my trifle though, it was on the list but not delivered. Refunded within the hour and with an extra voucher on top for the trouble which was nice.

Good luck to everyone!

My Sainsbury's order was fine, which to be honest was a shock. Massive sympathies to all who've been screwed around.

My delivery was almost perfect, sorry, although an hour later than I’d booked. The few subs are not ridiculous and will work fine.

Gherkins are pickled baby cucumbers btw misses point of thread

My ASDA order wasn’t too bad although the unavailable items were all on the shelves when DH nipped in just after delivery this morning so go figure.

Fuck Asda!

I use Ocado. Absolutely superb. Did a BIG shop (feeding 6 hungry adults and two kids for 48 hours) and I had two substitutions - bananas and spuds. And both were just for different pack sizes so no problem at all.

I have a DC with ASD too so the thought of a Christmas trip to the supermarket makes me want to claw my own eyeballs out.

I hope you manage to have a good Christmas

Thank you Rufus, Im sure we will.

Its late where I am but within the last half hour we've decided Christmas will now take place at my eldest daughters. My son isn't up to the usual Christmas here at home and because of his upset today he's now on a 72 hour low arousal protocol and the last thing he needs is all of his siblings here along with their families. So Christmas day will go like this - I'll sleep on the couch in his tv room so that when he comes downstairs in the middle of the night to see if Santa has been I can see him opening things. One of his carers will also be here as he's 2-1 round the clock care. After an hour he'll go back to bed but he might want in with me and thats ok. It means we both get some sleep. At about 7.30 we'll have breakfast and by 8.30 I'll be at my daughters waiting for everyone to arrive. All the presents will be at her house, they'll have been delivered there tomorrow night after her and her sisters have wrapped them all at one of the other houses tomorrow night. At 9am everyone will have arrived and all hell will break loose - none of the children seem to think twice about Santa being at another house. There will be nice food we've all had a hand in making and by 12.30 everyone will have gone home - me to my boy and a nice lunch with his care team at whatever time he tells us he'd like his lunch on the day. He makes us laugh, he's like a caveman, he see's the turkey and immediately wants the two legs all to himself so he grabs them and runs. One for Christmas Day and one for Boxing Day. Its a family tradition and Christmas Day wouldn't be the same without my 6 foot 4 caveman taking off with the turkey legs.

Just had our Sainsbury’s delivery. It was fine. A small number of sensible substitutions and just one item not available for which we’d requested no substitute. But it wasn’t an essential item by any means, so not a problem. The Sainsbury’s delivery service here is reliably good.

Another one here who had a poor asda order. And the most annoying thing? That they don’t put the subs in one bag, no, you have to go through the entire shop to hand back what you don’t want.
I won’t use asda again next year.

to the people for whom a ballsed-up delivery is not just an inconvenience. Hope you all get sorted with the least possible aggravation.

Merry Christmas everyone.

Here's to all the chicken dippers in the world and whatever else it takes to make the day a good one, or even a fair to middling one come to that.

I find the unavailable things really confusing.

A while ago I ordered toilet rolls and got nothing as unavailable...really, not a single pack of loo rolls in the supermarket or warehouse? Same for a shower gel I ordered...unavailable. Surely there must have been some form of soap available

I have no idea why people leave everything til the last day or two? You can buy most things well before and freeze them (meat, pigs in blankets, bread, milk) or store them (drinks, stuffing mix, cranberry sauce, Christmas pudding, potatoes, dried fruit, sweets etc.) I only need salady bits for Boxing day and maybe fresh cream this close and I got it on the 21st.

I'm too scared to do my Christmas food shop online...my absolute nightmare would be a Christmas day with no pigs in blankets.

I have no idea why people leave everything til the last day or two?

Yep, you've no idea.