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Original poster

Just been made homeless - Please advise me!

122 replies

ArtOfGettingBy · 22/12/2018 22:36

I will try to be as clear with the details as I can without making this too long. I'm also NOT asking for anything other than advice. I've lurked for a long time as my mum used to use MN but I have just joined.

I have a very fractured relationship with my family, emotionally abusive dad, mum who gaslights that the abuse didn't happen and siblings too young to know. Ive just been told that in the morning i need to leave when they go to work and theyre locking the door. They genuinely mean this and I dont know what to do. I did an apprenticeship after school and got a job that I lost due to a long absence for extreme bad mental health this year. So I was working a bar job recently I had to leave as it finished 3am and had to keep paying taxis to get home but it wasn't sustainable on the wage.

I'm 20 and stupidly I have no idea how this works. What do I do to stay somewhere? I have no savings, no friends who live where I Do, no family. I have tried to look online for advice but I don't understand a lot of the information. I'm so scared, Im thinking offices that deal withthis help will be shut for christmas. I don'tknow where i'm staying or what i'm going to eat.

Please help me with what to do if you have any knowledge. I know I should know how to handle this, i'm embarrassed that I don't. I'm not asking for hand outs.
Thank you in advance for the advice and guidance.

OP posts:
ILoveChristmasLights · 22/12/2018 23:19

What the hell? Are they mad you’ve resigned from your job

Another poster posted much the same a few weeks ago, I hope she has found her feet.

I really hope that you cut ties with them and build a new life without their abuse. Best of luck getting accommodation sorted soon.

Thatwasfast · 22/12/2018 23:21

My issue is there are lts of begging threads before Christmas, though I'm not saying this is one.

Usually the story is an abusive relationship, sudden homelessness and destitution, all reasonable advice is batted aside, frequent upodates ina crisis, and very sketchy details.

Just trying to understand your situation better so can tailor advice. Why do you not have any money at all? Do you have anything you could sell, i.e. car? Why do yount have any family or friends you could turn to?

limpbizkit · 22/12/2018 23:21

I'm not meaning to pry. And don't answer if you don't want to. I'm not going to judge you I promise... But has your mental health caused you to act in a way that has caused their problem with you? (I still don't think it's right if it has) in just asking because when I was younger I suffered. And I mean suffered- with depression/anxiety and my parents were most unhelpful. Blaming me etc treating me as a burden. Blah blah it goes on and I ended up turning to drink and subsequently I caused a lot of problems through my drinking and I had similar requests to leave. In my head I feel they could have been kinder and more understanding of the original problem but they just saw the drinking and thought I just liked to get drunk. I wasn't. I was desperately ill (looking back) and alcohol was my only medicine. My life's different now. Very. But all I'm asking is basically - wvsfs been going on? Flowers

limpbizkit · 22/12/2018 23:22

What's

PinkPanther38 · 22/12/2018 23:22

Gurdwaras (Sikh temples) offer food to those in need, if you have one locally? Non-Sikhs are made very welcome - you will need to remove shoes and cover your head

Thatwasfast · 22/12/2018 23:23

Also if you are still in the family home could you pack up some food to take with you?

cheesywotnots · 22/12/2018 23:24

Try and make some calls in the morning, you've been given some great advise. When things settle down would you look for jobs in a hotel or hospital, often you get accommodation. If you like bar work you could work lunchtime to get a bit of cash. Why have they decided to do this now, it seems very mean.

rosenylund · 22/12/2018 23:27

In Liverpool you can go straight to the whitechapel centre and use the sit up service, then they will try to allocate a hostel place. You could also try the Cotton Street Project. If you can vaguely identify the area in Merseyside I can be more specific.

Missingstreetlife · 22/12/2018 23:28

Don't let idiots on here worry you. It's fine to ask advice. Social services through your local council will have a worker on duty 24/7. They may not give help directly, but should advise on how to access emergency temporary housing and food or money to tide you over. Don't sleep out, try to get help straight away. Let us know when you are safe. Good luck, you will get though this.

Ollivander84 · 22/12/2018 23:30

If you can I would shove some food in a bag - apples/bananas, snack bars/crisps, can of drink anything you can that won't be noticed. Probably frowned upon but... I would

Honeyroar · 22/12/2018 23:30

Can you pack up a rucksack of food if you have to go? As much dry food, biscuits etc. Cheese. A few sandwiches etc. Also try and get any personal docs for yourself, passport if you have one, birth certificate. National insurance number.

Pinkyyy · 22/12/2018 23:31

OP how do you currently live with £0 income? Who pays for your phone? You'll need it tomorrow and presumably money for transport. Why would staying not be an option even if they let you?

Original poster
ArtOfGettingBy · 22/12/2018 23:33

Thank you for the help everyone. I think I have plenty of advice I should be able to use to get help I need.
I'm going to leave the thread now as I do not want to be accused of having ulterior motives 'right before christmas'

Thank you

OP posts:
princesstiasmum · 22/12/2018 23:33

If someone is made homeless in a situation like this where i live,they can go to the police station and they help find you somewhere at least for the night,you could try that where you live, as its a weekend even though not night time it could still apply ,worth asking

HolgerLowCarbingLoser · 22/12/2018 23:34

WTH is wrong with people.

If you’re concerned report it to MNHQ but in the meantime is it actually so difficult to grasp that someone in this situation might just be frightened and need some help in navigating what is a really shit situation?

I wouldn’t want to feel all alone in the world. Would you? I expect I’d want to talk to someone, anyone, and at least gain some moral support.

delboysskinandblister · 22/12/2018 23:35

For a hot meal hat's cheap if you cannot get to a shelter or foodbank then try the hot chicken counter at Tesco. You can get hot chicken thighs for 50p each all day. Cheaper and hotter than sandwiches. More filling in this cold weather. Also don't forget the 7pm food redctions in Tesco.

I am so sorry you are going through this. The sooner you can get to Council and get on the list before you have even got a hostel place or a friend's sofa is actually to your benefit. You have to make it clear you currently have absolutely nowhere to go.

The food bank will be able to give you some toiletires and any essential items too. Try and take a comb, toothbrush shampoo and deodorant to cover the basics but not overload yourself.

Remember to take a plastic water bottle when you do leave your parents because you will need access to fresh drinking water daily and many places will refill your water for free.

Save your money for transport and food and phonecalls. Try and use free email at libraries.

Remember layers of clothing and ideally any thermals and gloves and socks. Keep ankles and wrists warm as much as your top half and legs - this will keep the chill factor out.

Remember any meds you have to take.

Remember to take your passport and birth certificate and NI card. You'll need ID.

lastqueenofscotland · 22/12/2018 23:36

Not read the whole thread but I work in homelessness reduction for a council and have worked for Shelter in the past.
Please PM me

limpbizkit · 22/12/2018 23:36

Sorry I hope it wasn't my prying that upset you op

anniehm · 22/12/2018 23:38

So sorry. If One Roof operates in your area they may have a shelter as a stop gap. Try the ymca as they have under 25 specific accommodation. Council will have an out of hours number and you can start a benefits claim now online. There's also lodging schemes for young people but they will need to do background checks first. If you have someone you can stay with, that is obviously the best option, and the quickest way into housing is getting a job - a room in a shared house should be affordable where you live and you may be able to apply for benefits to then help with the cost. Churches, Salvation Army other faith groups all are possible for food, there will be a list of who provides what and when, this is on top of food bank provision. Gudwaras provide daily simple vegetarian meals to all who come through their doors. Finally your council will have a rent deposit scheme to lend you money for a deposit - if you pick up work this will help get out of a hostel and into medium term housing.

Original poster
ArtOfGettingBy · 22/12/2018 23:39

No, not you @limpbizkit To answer your question though, my MH didn't cause the friction though.Love the name btw

OP posts:
delboysskinandblister · 22/12/2018 23:40

Sorry I ment take take toiletries and plastic bottle from home. Take what you need to survive. Don't forget some headache tablets and plasters incase you get blisters and a headache.

Pinkyyy · 22/12/2018 23:40

OP I don't think anyone was accusing you, they were just reminding others that we have no way of guaranteeing that any post is genuine. Probably to prevent them offering you anything. I would PM @lastqueenofscotland if I were you as she has kindly offered expert advice

Heartofglass21 · 22/12/2018 23:41

Your parents are absolutely heartless, kicking you out 2 days before Christmas. Do you have any relatives who could put you up for a few days? Or old school friends? There must be someone out there who will help you. You're only 20. If one of my DCs friends was in this situation, they'd be welcomed with open arms. Make some phonecalls. Post on Facebook. Look after yourself.

anniehm · 22/12/2018 23:44

Ps make sure you take as much id as you have, also see if a friend can act as a mailing point. There will be a homeless centre in the city, ours is open 24/7 a one stop shop for housing, food, doctors, benefits etc.