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Original poster

Just been made homeless - Please advise me!

122 replies

ArtOfGettingBy · 22/12/2018 22:36

I will try to be as clear with the details as I can without making this too long. I'm also NOT asking for anything other than advice. I've lurked for a long time as my mum used to use MN but I have just joined.

I have a very fractured relationship with my family, emotionally abusive dad, mum who gaslights that the abuse didn't happen and siblings too young to know. Ive just been told that in the morning i need to leave when they go to work and theyre locking the door. They genuinely mean this and I dont know what to do. I did an apprenticeship after school and got a job that I lost due to a long absence for extreme bad mental health this year. So I was working a bar job recently I had to leave as it finished 3am and had to keep paying taxis to get home but it wasn't sustainable on the wage.

I'm 20 and stupidly I have no idea how this works. What do I do to stay somewhere? I have no savings, no friends who live where I Do, no family. I have tried to look online for advice but I don't understand a lot of the information. I'm so scared, Im thinking offices that deal withthis help will be shut for christmas. I don'tknow where i'm staying or what i'm going to eat.

Please help me with what to do if you have any knowledge. I know I should know how to handle this, i'm embarrassed that I don't. I'm not asking for hand outs.
Thank you in advance for the advice and guidance.

OP posts:
CrispbuttyNo1 · 22/12/2018 22:58

You say you have done bar work. Look for a job that is live in, that will keep you going until you get sorted out.

Rikalaily · 22/12/2018 22:58

I'm so sorry this is happening to you Sad

Liverpool council out of hours emergency number - Freephone 0800 731 6844

Shelter Merseyside - 0344 515 1900

Here is the page for Local Solutions, they have links to support for different areas of Merseyside - www.localsolutions.org.uk/north-west-services/13-accommodation-and-support/11-homeless-or-at-risk-of-homelessness

cheesywotnots · 22/12/2018 22:59

Are you able to look online for The Basement in Liverpool, Shelter, crisis UK, The YMCA Merseyside, do call them tomorrow. Do you have a mental health case worker, I would let them know what's happened. Do you have enough money to last a few days, there are shelters who offer free food, clothes, showers.

coffeekittens · 22/12/2018 22:59

When you say that your dad is abusive, is it towards you? As Women’s aid may be able to provide a refuge place for you if you are the victim of abuse (physical or psychological). A friend of mine was mentally and financially abused by her family and was placed in a refuge after seeking help.

VI0LET · 22/12/2018 22:59

De Paul Nightstop help young people 16-25 and will provide a few nights in a host family until you can get accommodation.

www.nightstop.org.uk/get-help

Nightstop Communities North West
Telephone: 0151 3456454

www.whitechapelcentre.co.uk/contact-us.html

www.the-basement.org.uk/

liverpool.gov.uk/housing/homeless-or-at-risk/

DragonMamma · 22/12/2018 23:01

I have no practical advice OP but I just wanted to say what a shitty thing tobhave happen to you.

Did something happen tonight for them to say this? It seems so cruel Sad

Anothermothersusername · 22/12/2018 23:01

No advice. I just wanted to say I’m sorry this is happening to you Sad. I’m absolutely disgusted that any parent can do this to their child and at only 20 years of age too! I sincerely hope you find somewhere safe and secure to stay. Hopefully one day you will have your own family to focus on and can forget about this nasty lot. You deserve so much better Flowers

Anothermothersusername · 22/12/2018 23:02

And at Christmas too Sad

Original poster
ArtOfGettingBy · 22/12/2018 23:03

I'm looking up all the places suggested everyone

I'm most concerned about the food aspect of all this, i know places will offer free xmas dinners so I'm planning on that for xmas daybut it's before and after I'm concerned about. Due to my dad in the past, I've stayed out on streets before for a night every now and then but depended on my parents for food as I've no income. How quickly do food banks operate

OP posts:
Squirrelslostnut · 22/12/2018 23:04

I'm really sorry you're going through this.
My initial offering of starting points would be:

  • ring Shelter and/or Porchlight. The latter may have temp accommodation they can offer
  • Go to the council on Monday morn and present as homeless (ideally with a letter from your parent confirming you hve been told to leave). Make sure you clearly state ypur mental health difficulties so it increases your need for emergency help as a vulnerable person.
  • go online now and begin a claim with universal credit and you should be able to get an appointment set up.
  • there will be a local winter night shelter in your area if you're really desperate for somewhere. The salvation army in your area will likely know where this is and how to access it.
  • also your local salvation army will be likely to offer sunday breakfast and/or dinner and advise what else is on to support you.

Im a Probation Officer so I deal with people in similar situations to yours, just not in your area. I'm happy to do some googling for you if you PM me the town you're in as I know the sort of services to look out for and can summarise the info for you.

You're clearly a pro-active, resilient person and you can get through this Flowers

Starlight456 · 22/12/2018 23:04

I also cannot add to advice given but wanted to wish you the best

thefinn · 22/12/2018 23:05

I'm so sorry for you. No parent should do this and what a timing as well. Just wishing you all the very best.

limpbizkit · 22/12/2018 23:10

So sorry you're going through this Flowers can you not hang on in there until new year?? Get a job. Get some income then leave and rent a flat/house? What's employment like in your area? Is there a reason you won't be able to get some work? Rent a room in a house maybe? It's so cold that you're being asked to leave at Christmas time. Will your parents not just let you stay until January? Even if they're awful to you. You need that job and income in order to get yourself a place without having to end up in a homeless hostel. I sincerely hope you are OK Flowers

Squirrelslostnut · 22/12/2018 23:10

With regards to your question about food, there are usually a number of places through local churches that will offer daily meals and laundry services. Food banks usually offer instant access so just find when your local ones operate. They also can offer toiletries as part of the service.

Please be careful about telling much about yourself to service users that you will encounter as many will be from troubled backgrounds and you could fall vulnerable to influence. Many of the people I manage who use food banks and homeless support charities are active offenders and/or misuse drugs and alcohol. Please stay safe and free of others mistakes Flowers

limpbizkit · 22/12/2018 23:11

Ps you sound very mature and proactive. That will go on your favour for your future.

Thatwasfast · 22/12/2018 23:13

You are twenty years old, and you don't have a few pounds for food?

Original poster
ArtOfGettingBy · 22/12/2018 23:13

My dad can get aggressive, stayin isnt a possibility even if they let me. I also am applying for jobs every day and the ones I could possibly do are unfortunately bar ones which I would do but there is no public transport at the times I finish and I have nothing for taxis

OP posts:
MrsTommyBanks · 22/12/2018 23:13

Food banks are instant.

CrispbuttyNo1 · 22/12/2018 23:14

Are there no live in bar jobs or kitchen jobs?

Thatwasfast · 22/12/2018 23:15

And you've just joined mumsnet for advice, but you can't google the local council numbers?

Original poster
ArtOfGettingBy · 22/12/2018 23:15

@Thatwasfast as im unemployed, no I don't. poverty isn't a myth

OP posts:
FestiveNut · 22/12/2018 23:16

There was a guy in America whose parents went to court to get him out because he just wouldn't leave. Any way you could bar your bedroom door and refuse to go anywhere? They'd leave you be pretty quickly rather than risk being late for work, I reckon. It would give you longer to pack up. And some more time to figure out what to do, with phone lines open so you can ring appropriate agencies.

Original poster
ArtOfGettingBy · 22/12/2018 23:16

I also did google for information but just dont understand some of the processes. I'm not after anything other than advice so |I don't understand your issue

OP posts:
Thatwasfast · 22/12/2018 23:18

I know poverty isn't a myth, but 20 year oldsliving at homne usually have at least a tenner in a current account. How did you get food before? You are twenty years old, presumably you were on jobseekers or something? What do you do all day?

How've you got on with the numbers you've been given?

FestiveNut · 22/12/2018 23:19

<a class="break-all" href="https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=england.shelter.org.uk/__data/assets/pdf_file/0005/23387/ShelterGuide_KnowYourRights.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwiAnrX4yLTfAhXzoXEKHeS7D_kQFjAJegQIBRAB&usg=AOvVaw0bQBRc9PEPoukPNf6AxLFE" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=england.shelter.org.uk/__data/assets/pdf_file/0005/23387/ShelterGuide_KnowYourRights.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwiAnrX4yLTfAhXzoXEKHeS7D_kQFjAJegQIBRAB&usg=AOvVaw0bQBRc9PEPoukPNf6AxLFE

That looks to be very useful. It has a list of what to take with you in your situation.