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Anyone else decide not to do the whole "Santa" thing?

152 replies

NowImFound · 22/12/2018 20:08

Just that really!

DH and I don't want to bring up our DC thinking that there's a "Santa Claus."

DMIL thinks I am awful!
It isn't really heard of either, is it?
So I thought I'd come on over to MN and see whether there's anyone else not doing the whole "Santa" thing.

We aren't scrooges, I promise! I love Christmas - just not "Santa."

OP posts:
DeadZed · 22/12/2018 20:09

Yep, we do Christmas without Santa. Nobody died although the grandparents were a little bemused by it.

Kikipost · 22/12/2018 20:09

Do you have children?

thewinkingprawn · 22/12/2018 20:11

I think it’s a shame - it is exciting for children and something magical to believe in for a very short time. No child was ever scarred by it. But if you don’t they’ll never know any different so I guess it doesn’t really matter.

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BikiniYellow · 22/12/2018 20:12

I thought about it, because I didn't want to lie.

I read something the argument that it teaches children about propaganda, mass lies, mass delusion and secrets.

Drogosnextwife · 22/12/2018 20:14

Long as they don't tell other kids or you could have some pretty pissed off parents and some upset children on your hands.

Apileofballyhoo · 22/12/2018 20:15

I wish I'd thought about it more before I started. But I feel like I'm stuck with it now and DS will be very upset when he finds out I've been lying to him.

KingBobra · 22/12/2018 20:16

We don't. There's lots of excitement for Christmas as it is, and it's not all materialistic. The idea of someone watching and judging you all the time doesn't sit well with our atheist standpoint. The expectation of material rewards for good behaviour is also problematic, never mind the fact that not all kids are "rewarded" equally.

megcustard · 22/12/2018 20:16

What a shame.

WomanOfTime · 22/12/2018 20:16

I think Santa is fine as a fun story, like all the other fictional stories we share with children.

Insisting that he's literally real or using him/his spying elves as a behaviour management tool doesn't seem right to me though.

melissasummerfield · 22/12/2018 20:17

Dont expect to make many parent friends when your dc goes go school and tells 30 other 4yo that Santa isnt real Hmm

CherryPavlova · 22/12/2018 20:17

My daughters best friend’s family never did Father Christmas as they are evangelical Christians who did not want to dilute the message of the nativity. The children were always delightful and seemed unfazed by it.

Inkspellme · 22/12/2018 20:17

It’s your choice of course - there’s so many variations on how Santa and Christmas is for everyone in different cultures which celebrate it.

However you should look at how you are going to ensure your children don’t spoil the surprise for those who have brought up believing.

Otherwise - yep, go with what makes your family happy.

NowImFound · 22/12/2018 20:19

Kikipost;
Yes. A wonderful 10 year old son.

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CMOTDibbler · 22/12/2018 20:19

We kind of went along with what nursery did, but never massively did it ourselves - because we didn't want ds to tell others. However he never really believed anyway

Ladymargarethall · 22/12/2018 20:20

We didn't have Father Christmas. Deliberately lying to children seems a strange thing to do. We told them it was something some people believe in. Presents came from friends and family.
DS1 has married a girl who wholeheartedly embraces the FC idea, and does Elf on the S helf.Shock

avocadoincident · 22/12/2018 20:20

We won't be doing Santa with our second child. I briefly did with my first but when she was 3 she asked a few questions and I told her the truth. I explained to her that she mustn't tell anyone in school etc etc. She promised she wouldn't spoil it for anyone etc etc...fast forward 16 years and my eldest is home from uni, she confessed she told her friends the next day

OhWifey · 22/12/2018 20:22

We've never mentioned Santa. Partly as we are Christians and don't want to dilute the message of Christmas as a pp said. But also I loathe the 'have you been good?' Question. What's a child to think about that?
HOWEVER. School and TV have taught her all about Santa. We let her go with it as she finds it fun and I don't want her to lose friends by telling everyone Santa is not real. But Santa is never something / someone we refer to off our own backs and presents most certainly won't be based on being good or otherwise

NowImFound · 22/12/2018 20:22

thewinkingprawn;
We did the whole Santa thing with out 10 year old son. It has caused him a huge amount of stress. He discovered that Santa didn't exist last year. He was devastated and he now questions things that we tell him. We plan to have more children in the future and really feel no need to put more children through this.

OP posts:
Figgygal · 22/12/2018 20:22

How do you explain it though that most other people do believe and stop them from ruining it for others.

MsChookandtheelvesofFahFah · 22/12/2018 20:26

Santa never 'judged' my dds. He was far too busy getting Christmas lists sorted and toys delivered to be arsed hearing about bad behaviour. I'd love to hear about any child who harboured a grudge against their parents for 'lying' as well, it's how you present it. My dds are well into their 20s now and if they say they don't believe, they don't get a stocking. They always write him a letter as well, otherwise no Santa gift lovingly laid on the dining room table. It's a family tradition. The other day dd2 said to me, how did you always know what we'd asked Santa for, we kept it a secret until Christmas Eve when we wrote the letter? I still didn't give away the fact that I successfully managed to 'manoeuvre' them into asking for the item that I'd already bought! Grin

MakeAHouseAHome · 22/12/2018 20:27

Personally I think it is cruel. The vast majority of people want their children to believe in the magic and wonder of Christmas and that includes the belief of Father Christmas.

Not only are you ruining that absolute magic that they will never experience again on their life but realistically they are NEVER going to keep that secret to themselves. So you are ruining it for loads of other kids too.

Ladymargarethall · 22/12/2018 20:28

If your child believes in Father Christmas and a fellow four year old tells him it isn't real, can't you just explain that not everyone believes?
People of faith face this all the time - children coming home a nd saying 'Y's Mummy says it's not true about Jesus' for example.

NowImFound · 22/12/2018 20:31

I am happy to see that some people don't want to do it due to faith reasons. This is our biggest motivation. We are Christian's and have been for a few years. We did Santa with our son (before we was Christian's) and he is now very confused. I wish I had just been truthful from the beginning. It has really hindered him.

OP posts:
Unclebuck3 · 22/12/2018 20:31

I decided not to do Santa as it felt weird to tell them monsters and unicorns couldn’t possibly exist but a man with flying reindeer delivers presents to the entire world in one night.

Also I don’t overspend on presents at Christmas, so couldnt explain to them that Santa brought an iPad, fancy gifts, and a whole new wardrobe for their cousin, but they only got 3 gifts each from him.

Dd is only 4 and nursery really push Santa on the kids plus her 8 year old cousin believes. I haven’t mentioned anything yet but on Christmas Day I might casually mention that Santa is just a story then forget about it till next year when she can hopefully keep a secret!

alwayslearning789 · 22/12/2018 20:33

My parents told me there was no Santa straight up - I still feel 'robbed' to this day. You are only young once.

I then 'did' Santa with my own child, and now that she is grown, she appreciates the 'magic' of it all, knowing in full knowledge that he doesn't really exist but brings joy and wonder for the kids.

Make of that what you will.

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