Anyone else decide not to do the whole "Santa" thing?

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Just that really!

DH and I don't want to bring up our DC thinking that there's a "Santa Claus."

DMIL thinks I am awful!
It isn't really heard of either, is it?
So I thought I'd come on over to MN and see whether there's anyone else not doing the whole "Santa" thing.

We aren't scrooges, I promise! I love Christmas - just not "Santa."

I grew up knowing santa was just a story as my parents took the approach of telling me from the start he didn't exist. it didn't spoil Christmas for me and I still found it a very magical special time, family time together, board games and Christmas stories and movies.

A friend of mine's daughter expressed huge relief when her parents admitted, when she was about 9, that it wasn't real. She had been terrified, every year, about a strange man coming into her bedroom.

M0reGinPlease haha sp true... I mean the story of 'God/Jesus'is unquestionably true but Gather Christmas is a disgusting pack of lies

Never did Father Christmas here either - when my daughter asked I simply said that some people believe in him. I was not prepared to lie to my children to keep other parents happy i’m afraid. Surely it can only be on mumsnet that not encouraging your child to believe in a man who does not exist is akin to child abuse! I overheard a parent saying to a Year 5 child who was questioning her about whether Father Christmas is real or not ‘If you don’t believe then you don’t receive.’ I personally thought that was horrible but each to their own.

@CaptainBrickbeard - I was thinking the same thing about this cropping up every year. It's harmless and, as a pp stated who feels she missed our, it's a shame to not have a child experience it imo.

We do Santa, but there's no condition of being good as that doesn't sit well with me (what small child is perfectly-behaved at all times?!). We don't do an elf either as we can't be arsed and we don't require a 'spy' for Santa! (DD, who's 5, was asking why we don't have one this morning though, so I said it was just a game other people played, which she was fine with.)

I can't imagine a life without the magic of Santa. It doesn't have to be seen as 'lies' exactly, I don't think. And a child's reaction to finding out he's not real isn't normally that they feel lied to or question other things they've been told, IME. I think it probably depends on how you explain it, however.

I'm sure it doesn't have to be done, but it should only be a bit of fun really! 🎅🏻🎅🏻

We've never used FC as a behaviour management tool nor had elf on the shelf or the like.

There are a few parents at school who don't do FC. Some are Muslim and others, I've no idea. Anyone who thinks that their little one who doesn't believe won't tell all their classmates is deluded. There's been some right ding dongs about this in the playground, with sanctimonious idiots defending their kids telling 5 year olds FC is not real.

Do what ever is right for your family but don't make it ruin others fun.

Our dd is three, and we're not really doing Santa. I put it on the same sort of level as fairy doors etc - a magical idea that we play along with. We're not saying it's all pretend, and not saying it's real. She understands Santa as a character, I think, and that's how we treat it - we still put a mince pie and carrot etc out on Christmas Eve, because that's part of the fun and our Christmas tradition, but in much the same way as she sets out tea parties for her dolls and teddies!

I think the biggest mistake is everything coming from Santa and not friends and family. We only did one present from Santa and a stocking, thus the transition is painless. Also who still tells their children that Santa comes down the chimney? He doesn't have time ffs! He throws them out of the sleigh as he whizzes over your house and they magically waft down through your roof and settle by the tree.

How do you explain it though that most other people do believe and stop them from ruining it for others.

It’s absolutely farcical that upholding a bare faced lie - because it bloody well is and all adults know it - is held as the important thing and not upholding the truth!

DD is in yr 1, and we (parents) were chatting about this in the playground last week. We've said that Santa is a game some families play, but DD is determined to believe, and this was the case for one of the other families. Another mum said that her son refused to believe, and when he asked direct questions, they told him the truth. Her MIL was unimpressed! So some 5 year olds have figured it out, and others believe despite what their family tell them.

Incidentally, if you'd asked me as a child what Santa was bringing me, I'd have said underwear, chocolate and a satsuma - he only brought a stocking, other presents came from named family members, and I think that's fairly common among my friends - to save all sorts of confusion about why Santa brings one child a PS4, but another only gets a jigsaw.

Are you referring to God there or Santa pouty?

Have never confirmed or denied with DD, but the absolutely barrage of it from school, family, television, complete —fucking— strangers has her playing along out of politeness. Why should the lie be the default? It makes no sense.

She will correct anyone that says”Santa is listening/watching though”. That’s just fucking creepy.

Are you referring to God there or Santa pouty?

Santa. But it transfers beautifully.

Without God, we are just a bunch of fizzing chemicals and evolved fish after all.

If you say so dear

My parents didn't try to tell me he was real it was told to me as another Christmas story for bedtime. We didn't have the charade of presents magically appearing under the tree overnight. I was brought up with the tradition to actually hand our gifts to each other after Christmas lunch.

I worked out the Santa thing aged 6. I was gutted, but worse was having to play along with the lie for my younger siblings for many years aferwards. Same for DH.

I avoid as much of xmas as possible now, partly due to that shitty experience.

So heartened to see not everyone buys in to this shite.
No one ever believes me but I knew from the age of about four none of it added up.
It's sentimentalised bollocks with a dash of omnipotent sky faerie thrown in. More for benefit of the misty eyed adults than the children in my view.

I'm a Christian and was raised by Christian parents. We did Father Christmas and I remember how exciting and magical it felt. When I learned the truth it didn't confuse my faith.

My DD is three and we arent doing Santa because she is scared of him. Really freezes up at any mention of him and cries when we see one. But presents will appear on Christmas eve and I don't think she will put much thought in to where they came from!

I don't get this idea that children who don't believe will ruin it for everyone. Surely that is kids who DID believe and then find out? As for them it is a big reveal?

We were never told there was a FC as children. I never occurred to me to tell others he didn't exist, any more than to tell them that Allah/ Moses/ God didn't. These didn't feature in our lives. We just.... didn't talk about it. We did other stuff.

Same with our dc now. They went to "visit Santa" who was quite obviously a male nursery worker in a beard. We read The Night before Christmas - im fact, dD1 can largely recite it. But we leave it there. We don't leave a mince pie out or tell her he's coming down the chimney. She just seems to accept it as a fun story, like Peppa Pig or Room on the Broom.

We've never pretended Father Christmas is real and my children still love Christmas.

Surely it's for individual families to decide and there isn't a right answer.

Clearly most people do Father Christmas and by about 7 or 8 most children grow out of it and aren't scarred by finding out it isn't real. Those who choose not to do it can also have a fantastic wonderful Christmas - the idea that it's not possible to without Father Christmas and that somehow it's abusive to 'deny' kids Father Christmas is pretty daft and I think just shows that people often have such a narrow experience of life that they cannot imagine something else - ie celebrations without Father Christmas.

Personally I'm all for people choosing for themselves. You have to know that if you don't do Father Christmas you're flowing against the cultural tide and there will need to be discussions about it and how to handle it with other kids too. I personally find those who insist on perpetuating Santa with older kids more concerning and odd - the lengths some go to,mot keep them believing and somehow seeing belief in Santa as the only credible sign of innocence.

I grew up without santa. I always loved knowing the truth. Felt very grown up. Christmas was still magical with family and gifts.

My husband grew up with Santa. He would not budge on the magic of Santa. My daughter has at 5 started asking lots of questions. I always feel a tad uneasy having to spin a web of lies.

I still remember my 4th Christmas...the sheer happiness of believing the magic.
So we did the same for our four children..but only in a light casual way ..father Christmas brought stockings only, and when they got to 7.8 and 9 (the 9 year old was a genuine believer in all things magic so it lasted longer than it might have done) we explained that he was a tradition , so not quite a lie .

However.... our youngest has autism and here we shot ourselves in the foot, because when he grasped the idea (about 7 as he has learning disabilities) he then refused to let go of it. Norad track Santa therefore he MUST be real!

He's 21 now and still believes, still tracks him. Nothing we have said changes it. We did however tell him that at 18 we take over stockings so we don't have to have special paper any more.

I have to say it has made our Christmases more magical... he is an adult but when he is watching the Santa cam on Norad he gets so much pleasure talking about it, and tbh there are many things that are out of reach in his life due to his disability that I can't regret having Father Christmas in our lives :)