Anyone else decide not to do the whole "Santa" thing?

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Just that really!

DH and I don't want to bring up our DC thinking that there's a "Santa Claus."

DMIL thinks I am awful!
It isn't really heard of either, is it?
So I thought I'd come on over to MN and see whether there's anyone else not doing the whole "Santa" thing.

We aren't scrooges, I promise! I love Christmas - just not "Santa."

Is eggnog the same as advookat (the yellow stuff)?

We did FC - and it doesn’t seem to have caused any long term trauma.

Although now that they are late teens I regularly remind them of the house ... ‘if you don’t believe you get nowt.’

House rules

Clearly nobody is willing to answer my eggnog query

Advocat is the most similar thing you can get in the UK, but they aren't really the same. I base my knowledge of eggnog on Starbucks' eggnog latte though, so may not be 100% accurate.

@fedtive thankyou! And i appreciate your very subtle correction of my 'advookat', I probably bought a Russian version in fairness

@festive even!!!

This was said in a jokey way obviously WomanWithAltitude don’t take yourself too seriously

We didn't go for the whole "Father Christmas" thing with our family. But we told the children that it was a game that everyone played and you must not tell anyone that he wasn't real.

I was 4 when my mum told me that she and dad bought all my presents. She told me because my older cousin had been told the truth and was causing chaos telling everyone and mum wanted me to hear from her, not my cousin.

I can remember it so clearly and although I was shocked I wasn't at all upset. Mum and dad had bought the presents in the past and would continue to do so. What was the fuss about?

Like you OP we wanted the children to be clear about what we believe is true - we are born again Christians - and what is pretend - Father Christmas/Tooth Fairy.

We still played along even though they knew it was us.

We don't do Santa. Dh didn't want to because of religious reasons and I didn't because I was scared of the idea of a strange man in my bedroom when I was little so my parents told me the truth very young.

The funniest thing I have read, in the many years I have been on here..a woman that has PTSD from her parents lying to her, that Father Christmas was real. She has spent years in therapy for it 😂
When I was little, I didn't know one other child that didn't believe. It was magical! And none of us have needed thousands of pounds of counselling sessions, because we were lied to 😂

I always felt from a very young age that Santa was horrible to bring rich kids lots and poor kids very little. I couldn't understand why he wasn't kind enough to even it up a bit. ( we were in between) I remember a poor family inn school, always badly dressed and saying their presents to the teacher and l felt a flash of anger at Santa for being so mean to them.
My dc never believed in Santa and we had a fantastic Christmas every year where they got presents. They never once told anyone and the excitement lasted long into their teens as there was no big..finding out.
As a teacher l hate elf on the shelf and hearing parents threaten Santa on kids.

In our family FC brought stockings which had basic pants socks books pens etc in them. Always exciting to open. And presents were from people and you were expected to remember who bought you what and write thank you letters. As youngest child it was a gradual dawning that FC wasn't real, not a stark shock, and the pretence was kept up and stockings kept arriving til I moved out with a boyfriend. 6 or 16 it was still exciting to creep downstairs on Christmas morning and announce 'he's been!'. 😂

On reflection I think I judge parents more for teaching their children religion as fact, instead of 'here are some crazy stories that people tell themselves to feel better about how random and unfair life can seem' But that's not a popular view and I keep it to myself in real life. Live and let live and all that.....

We have Santa with my three kids, I think it's fun. I know a few people that celebrate Christmas but don't have santa, I have explained to my kids that santa doesn't come to everyone. Some people don't celebrate Christmas, and some people don't believe in santa so he doesn't come to them. Some kids might say he isn't real, but maybe their family has different beliefs, or maybe the kids were naughty.
I have also said that Santa only brings a few stocking fillers, and a small gift, nothing big or very expensive as there are so many kids in the world. If any of their friends get an iPad or trampoline it's not actually from santa, but that's a secret and if you tell them it's not from santa you will be on the naughty list.

Won’t go along with the story of Santa for a few years of pleasure for their kids but will go along for a lifetime with the story of god?

I don't get this lying thing. Kids have great imaginations and believe in loads of things: magic, fairies etc. Why does Santa get singled out, or do people tell kids all these things aren't true? You have enough years with the stark reality of life and it's distinct lack of magic.

I think there's a happy middle ground between going out of your way to convince children Santa is real or telling them outright that he's not.

Just do it all with a bit of a wink and a smile, so they realise pretty quickly that it's just a game but still enjoy all the fun of it. That's what my parents did for us, and DH's parents for him, and it's working well with our kids too.

Just make it fun but unconvincing

We never had Father Christmas growing up as my parents didn’t want to lie to us (no religious reasons). It was totally fine, Christmas was still really magical and we understood that some people did believe the nice story about fc so we mustn’t tell them it was just a story - we never did tell anyone.

I do sort of have FC with my own dc but in a slightly half-hearted way. He brings a stocking and one present but most things are from family. DD now 6 has already figured out that it probably isn’t real. What I definitely definitely don’t do is any of the ‘behave for FC’ stuff. I really disagree with it as a behaviour management strategy - my dc are well behaved because they understand that is how they should be rather than to get stuff. As a teacher I really see the impact on the children for whom fc is used as a threat through the whole of December - and it’s not a positive impact.

ignatius I wish I’d done that with my two. Santa became too big a thing in my house I think. It came as quite a shock when the truth came out.

As for telling other kids surely you just say to your dc that some people don’t believe.

I can hardly remember presents I received or who visited at Christmas. What I can recall in vivid detail is lying awake in absolute excitement on Christmas Eve whispering with my sister about where about's in the world Father Christmas actually was at that precise moment and momentarily worrying if he'd get to us by morning. We would discuss for hours how he could fit all the packages on the sleigh. We worried about the weather if it rained and we'd be the first down in the morning to see if he'd been. All that is priceless and not something you can buy for your children in this materialistic world

I never did it, I don't lie to my son. He is 36 now and says he isn't bothered in the least. We had wonderful christmases together without it.

We did FC but just as pretend character so our children never “believed”. We have nice Christmasses but quite low key compared to some of the stuff I read here.

I don't get this lying thing. Kids have great imaginations and believe in loads of things: magic, fairies etc. Why does Santa get singled out, or do people tell kids all these things aren't true?

Because Santa doesn’t generally occur as a natural part of a child’s imagination - it’s force fed by adults and then wider society from day 1.

Because other imaginative things remain that way. People don’t generally try to make it seem that the monsters under the bed are real.

Of all the men and surrounding lies that have been in my life, I can assure you Father Christmas did the least damage!!!!?

Lucky you!