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Original poster

Anyone else decide not to do the whole "Santa" thing?

152 replies

NowImFound · 22/12/2018 20:08

Just that really!

DH and I don't want to bring up our DC thinking that there's a "Santa Claus."

DMIL thinks I am awful!
It isn't really heard of either, is it?
So I thought I'd come on over to MN and see whether there's anyone else not doing the whole "Santa" thing.

We aren't scrooges, I promise! I love Christmas - just not "Santa."

OP posts:
AndAHappyNewYear · 22/12/2018 20:34

Half of my family don't celebrate Christmas and my parents did away with Santa as a real person when almost 3-year-old me wanted to know why half of my cousins (who do take part in some aspects of Christmas as it's a massive thing in the UK but no presents) had been naughty. We still had a great time at Christmas and did Santa as a nice story. I don't recall there ever being any massive drama of either of my younger siblings or I telling people at school that he's not real.

Stufftheturkeysholewithholly · 22/12/2018 20:35

You are Christians and happy to lie to him about god but not about santa. Right.

I think children get more pleasure out of the santa lie.

Original poster
NowImFound · 22/12/2018 20:35

MakeAHouseAHome;
Cruel? Really!? To decide not to lie about a man placing presents under the tree?
I don't judge others for deciding to do Santa, but I feel I have been more cruel to my son for lying to him for 9 years because it resulted in a real mourning process and deep confusion, which is still around a year later.

Logically speaking, wouldn't it be less cruel to just be honest with our children?

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

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Christmas Events & celebrations
Redglitter · 22/12/2018 20:36

I read something the argument that it teaches children about propaganda, mass lies, mass delusion and secrets

Hmm
watfordmummy · 22/12/2018 20:36
Biscuit
DeadZed · 22/12/2018 20:37

It is a bit ridiculous all the hoo har about children "telling". Unless you live in middle class white suburbia your children will meet others of different beliefs and lifestyles. They will naturally talk about their home lives at school and discuss things but younger children will rely more on what their parents tell them than anyone else.

Biologifemini · 22/12/2018 20:37

I’ve never bothered as I never believed either.
My child goes along with it for the sake of the other kids but most know because older brother and sisters have told them anyway.

Zevitevitchofcwsmas · 22/12/2018 20:40

How has santa hindered him? From believing like you have decided to do?

I hope not, its one thing for you as adults to decide to become Christians but at 10 I don't think you can drag your son into it.

Inkspellme · 22/12/2018 20:42

My two now grown kids loved Santa and gradually stopped believing. They both intend doing the Santa thing with their own children if they get the chance.

Santanever depended on them being good. I don’t think that’s nice for children at all.

However just because it worked for us doesn’t mean it’s right for everyone.

A handy guide I heard was to tell children that Santa only comes to those who believe in him and that the families of other children will get those children gifts instead.

PutDownThatLaptop · 22/12/2018 20:43

My parents told me he did not exist because they wanted me to believe in God. I felt as if I missed out. They took us to a grotto despite telling us he was not real. My mother even made a Santa suit for a friend of the family to dress up and go and surprise my best friend.

ems137 · 22/12/2018 20:43

My fondest memories are of magical Christmases as a young child. I never once thought bad of my parents for "lying" to me, by lying they gave us such excitement and truly happy feelings around christmas.

You can invent elaborate stories about who wraps and buy presents or you can keep it vague like our family does. I really don't see the harm.

Kids grow up so quickly these days and I think we should let them have the innocent experience of Father Christmas and his magic elves.

Gimmeesugar · 22/12/2018 20:44

This thread is really making me giggle!

WhiteWashGails · 22/12/2018 20:47

I always said before kids I would never do it.

Now I’m pregnant, I do think due to ‘mass lies’ it’s not possible to avoid. Sort of.

I know a family member who maintains finding out The truth ruined them, but I loved the idea of Father Christmas when I was young and finding out he wasn’t real I found really funny.

So I could have a child I lie to who tells me it devastated them when he wants real, or one who feels robbed of the magic if we don’t give him father Xmas.

I believe This is part of ‘mother’s always wrong’ Brew

Original poster
NowImFound · 22/12/2018 20:47

Because he has discovered that Santa isn't actually real, like all kids do eventually! This has confused him about what he believes. This isn't influenced by my husband and I, this is something that we leave him to figure out himself. The whole Santa thing has thrown him!

Without grabbing on to the fact that we're Christian's, I think it's not worth the lie. The magic of Christmas is still very much in our lives, without Santa.

OP posts:
Pringlemunchers · 22/12/2018 20:48

Some might say Christianity is another myth ,perpetuated throughout the year.

thewinkingprawn · 22/12/2018 20:50

Flipping whack - devastated when he discovered Santa wasn’t real?! Yes I definitely think it’s not right for your family then. That’s an unusual reaction. Usually children start to question and come to their own realisation rather than it being a devastating blow! However you’ve clearly decided so it doesn’t really matter what anyone else thinks / it’s your family and you can tell your children what you like / be that stories about god or stories about Santa.

thewinkingprawn · 22/12/2018 20:50

Heck not whack 😀

M0reGinPlease · 22/12/2018 20:50

In general, I wholeheartedly agree with not lying to children.

However, I do think Father Christmas is magical and exciting and can be done in such a way that when. Your child realises, they feel it was just a bit of fun rather than they were lied to.

We do it with DD but don't go overboard- none of this elf on the shelf shite or Santa is watching you or if you misbehave in December no gifts etc. This year she has been to visit Santa but we did a really basic grotto.

I think as with most things there is a balance of what feels right for your family. With us it's a bit of fun and childhood magic while she's little. I think you can over explain things though and get into downright lying territory, like leaving magic keys outside (I think this is really, really weird) and I know people who do snowy footprints and all kinds of madness. Keep it simple, keep it fun.

SylvanianFrenemies · 22/12/2018 20:52

His reaction to finding out about Santa is unusual.

Most kids have a realisation and cope just fine. Was/is there other stuff going on for him?

You are of course free to do what you like. But Santa is a pretty exciting part of Christmas for most kids.

allthegoodusernameshavegone · 22/12/2018 20:52

Christmas is a magical time of year, with sharing, good food, meeting of family & friends, colour and general cheerfulness, the fat man in a red suit is not the reason for this, take him away and your children miss nothing, after around age 5 or 6 they pretend to believe to make Mum & Dad Happy, they have, by then learnt that Father Christmas is impossible but fear their materialistic wants will not be met unless they pretend. Bringing children up to enjoy the magic without the bullshit is far from cruel. It is actually giving them a better gift of magical Christmasass to come.

Original poster
NowImFound · 22/12/2018 20:54

Some might, pringlemuncher, but based on that worldview, why is it right or wrong to do the whole Santa thing in first place? Without God, we are just a bunch of fizzing chemicals and evolved fish after all...

Have a wonderful Christmas everyone.
Thanks for all the replies. Smile

OP posts:
Sickofdrugs · 22/12/2018 20:56

Child of "devout christians" here. In quotation marks because my mother is the most unchristian christian I have ever met. (As in last night she called me at 11pm to tell me that DH, DD and I are no longer welome for christmas lunch because I have upset her sister and niece. I have had to run out today and buy a turkey!) Never did they allow us to believe Father Christmas was real. As a result I struggle with the Big FC, I forget and end up asking other children what mummy and daddy are buying them for christmas. Oops. I also have mixed feelings about lying to children on both baby jesus and father christmas. I cannot prove either can I. I like to deal in fact.
With DD who is 3, I have said stocking comes from father christmas and the rest from family and friends. It will be hard.

CaptainBrickbeard · 22/12/2018 20:57

This thread comes up every year and always brings out some nonsense, but concluding that we are all evolved fish is a new and special addition.

FestiveNut · 22/12/2018 20:59

Have you watched Miracle on 34th Street? I never wanted to be that mother. On an earlier thread, someone said that she told her kids that now they know Santa isn't real, they get to become Santa. They get to pick a gift for someone, a neighbour etc. and give it to them from 'Santa'. And Santa is just the embodiment of generosity and goodwill. I think you could possibly look at the history of Saint Nicholas and do it from a charitable slant if you wanted. I'd never tell my children outright that Santa is real though. My mother didn't. When I asked the question she just refused to tell me.

M0reGinPlease · 22/12/2018 20:59

Without God, we are just a bunch of fizzing chemicals and evolved fish after all...

Right. But Santa is a load of made up bullshit that scars children for life?

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