Say here things you can't say in real life

[squirrelnutkins1]

Interested to hear things people really wish they could say in real life, but can't, for whatever reason.

This is a safe space..... let's offload!!

A thank you would be nice after the effort I've made!

I don't like it when you ask me what I am doing for Christmas, as I am spending it alone. I know its just social chat but I have to make up a credible story as I am not allowed to say the truth.

Dear DD I think you could do a lot better than your choice of DH but if you love him so be it.x

You total and utter slag. I pity your DH and your DC. You have created your own hell and you don’t deserve to be happy. Fuck you.

You did everything you could to exclude and break him. Why do that? You are a bad person and everyone will see it for themselves one day soon.

I'm not saying you're a lazy bitch because of the colour of your skin, but because you really are a lazy fucking bitch.

Me to colleague.

Fuck this shit let someone else do it
(Pretty much regarding every responsibility in my life I would love to be able to say this but just can't!)

I’m craving a hug. One of those ‘I’m just going to hold you as tight as I can’ type hugs that makes you feel as if everything will be ok.

I really fancy you and want you to just fuck my brains out!!

Seriously we dont work for you because we actually care about your business or you personally . Its a job... The contract is we give you our labour at set times for money, ( and you get rich off the backs of our labour whilst paying us peanuts) Please do not expect us to care about you or work at times outside our contracts or during bank holidays just to suit you (or because because you have family issues that you havent thought about or sorted before )... Thank you.

Christ, you're boring. How did your world get so small? It never used to be.

Some of these really tickled me.

Today I really wanted to say to a colleague:

Will you shut the fuck up about Brexit? No, in the modern world we're not going to be left as a country to starve due to no food so no you don't need to read into scaremongery and stock up on tins and no we will not have to have time of work due to not being able to leave the house.

To DP: I love you more than anyone I have known (to whom I am not related by blood).

Otherwise: fuck off, Christmas.

To my friends, grow the fuck up and move out of home you are in your 30s and could afford to do
so, delayed adolescence is pathetic

Everybody knows you married him for his family's money.

D) you drink too much. Every day with kids in the house is too much, your standards are slipping and the friend I knew even 18 months ago would be disapproving of the way you and the kids live now. Your husband, though great fun, is a lazy arse and you all look the other way at the fact he'd rather be away for months on end because you've got used to the money. Sober up.

L: I loved my job despite you. When you told me I wouldn't be considered for promotion because of the 'different' direction you were taking we both knew it was really because I wasn't a 'believer', but we wouldn't say it.

W: I feel I am letting you down as a wife. I can't stop eating so am getting fat, and can't stop spending the money that you earn.

I am really shit hot at my job.

J: I was back in your city for the first time in half a lifetime. And I thought of looking you up, even though now I have a husband and two beautiful children, because you were my great first love and I have missed you for always. And I didn't look you up. Because I realized that what I have with my husband is better than you at your best. I was terrified of going to the conference in your city because I worried I wouldn't be able to control a stupid, teenage impulse. Instead, I came away renewed in my commitment to my marriage, and freed from the chains you'd put on my heart so very long ago. I know you always wanted the best for me, in a time when all anyone else wanted was to exploit me. I love you always, but I have stopped regretting how it ended.

I’m scared I’m going to spend the whole of my life alone.

Christmas is one fucking day and a religious festival. I detest how most people go on and on and on about it..... Piss off with your enforced jollity.

Where's the fucking justice? You lot all got a bonus just for doing your own jobs. I have had to cover half of one of your jobs for an entire year! AND none of you would cover one teeny tiny (but very important) single solitary part of my job (which was in fact one of YOUR jobs) when I went on holiday. And we have the same line manager and she knows all of this ... so, your lousy behaviour is not only tolerated, not only accepted, it's fucking REWARDED!

Oh, and you are really the weirdest bunch of folk ever.

(Thank you OP. I feel 1% better now)

Darling friend, please just try online dating? I can't screw up your life like this. You'll manage without me. You need to. We can maybe be together in the future but I need a break now even though I love you. You need to forget me.

.

To my family: I love you and I know you love me, but i know you only like me when I got your box. I’m sick of having to dumb myself down and being at your beck and call all the time to stop you all kicking off. I’m not doing it anymore.

To my best friend: your not thrifty, your cheap and don’t pay your way at all. You have far more cash than I do so why the hell do you expect me to pay more? I’m not prepared to keep it up so you’ll be in shock in the new year.

To my male best friend: I’m head over heels for you and have been for the last year. I’m autistic so have no idea if you feel the same way because I can’t read you. Unfortunately I think your autistic too so I’m sure your struggling to read me as well. Either you or I are going to have to grow a pair and tell the other or nothing is going to change. But even if you don’t feel the same way, I adore being your friend just as much.

XH. Life isn't as good as you thought it would be when you went online dating for a new wife, after being married to me for 20 yrs. Unfortunatley you used the 'monkey doesn't let go of one branch until there's another one he's holding' system, but I found out in your computer history, and later you confessed. You met new wife, and spent the first year trying to get me back. That ship sailed long ago. You were abusive and manipulative and a compulsive liar, and when you started your abuse on our DD as well as the OD stuff I kicked you out. But your stepkids hate you, and new wife is not apparently an improvement on old wife, so texting me uneccessarily pretending to be helpful just makes me think you've got what you deserve, as well as being sad that you destroyed our family, and are now doing the same to another one. I feel you might just jump ship again, and wreck more lives in your Walter Mitty middle-aged crisis, but I hope for their sake, not yours, that you dont, you absolute arsehole. DH's XW. You wanted the divorce, not my DH. Now you are several years down the line, and have split up from your DP, partly because your nasty grown up daughters shit-stired until it happened. You seem to realise that life is not the paradise you imagined, and think that DH should continuously collect 19 yr old drama llama SD in a two hour round trip becuase you live in the arse end of nowhere for no good reason other than it is near your work, which you drive to anyway. You want him to do jobs in your flat, and have carried on as if you are still married. This is not what divorce means! Not so D SD's. I have backed away from your drama, as there is always some issue. You cannot expect your father to keep coughing up money, running you around endlessly, and yet all get together to bitch about him. I have stuck up for you several times, but you are trying to sabotage my marriage and I need to step back for my own mental well being. At least until you both stop being so selfish and needy and whiney and grow the fuck up. DM please stop favouring my needy dependant sister over me, and talking over me if you are not interested in what I am saying. It's fucking rude.

Also to best friend: your messier than any of us. You have no right to complain about my one solitary cup waiting to be refilled by the kettle when you’ve got four dirty plates, several dirty cups and glasses and empty tins on the bench.