Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Excluded for uploading fight video

98 replies

TickleMyPickle · 07/12/2018 17:31

My daughter ( year 7 ) has been excluded from school for 3 days for uploading a fight between 2 boys that happened outside of school grounds but in school uniform.
I am shocked by this punishment if I’m honest, does it seem reasonable to you?

OP posts:
HarrySnotter · 07/12/2018 17:41

What do you believe the appropriate sanction would be OP?

ohdearmymistake · 07/12/2018 17:41

Good she got what she deserves in fact she probably got off lightly, just because she's your dad see this behaviour for what it is totally unacceptable nasty and indefensible.

Notquiterichenough · 07/12/2018 17:41

Standard punishment in my DC's schools. They know the rules, they're not difficult to follow.

TickleMyPickle · 07/12/2018 17:42

She’s never been in trouble before so I’m unsure how the punishments usually work.
I know my friends son ,in the same year /school was given isolation at school for 2 days for telling a teacher to fuck off.
I would’ve thought 3 days essentially “off school” is less of a punishment than isolation.
Don’t get me wrong, she will face consequences at home for this too!

OP posts:
AlexaShutUp · 07/12/2018 17:43

It sounds like the school wants to give a really clear, consistent message on what is obviously unacceptable behaviour. It's the same punishment for all concerned, so all perpetrators have been treated fairly. I'm sure they'll all think twice next time!

southnownorth · 07/12/2018 17:43

Similar punishment in a school where I used to live.

A girl was horribly beaten up by an ex pupil and the school has excluded anyone who has uploaded it, and rightly so, it is vulgar viewing.

GetTheStartyParted · 07/12/2018 17:44

Glad to hear the school have acted appropriately.
My son was assaulted and the footage was shared around. It was horrible knowing it was out there.

CherryPavlova · 07/12/2018 17:45

Clear message at an early stage is good.

AlexaShutUp · 07/12/2018 17:45

I would’ve thought 3 days essentially “off school” is less of a punishment than isolation.

Only if you let her treat it as a holiday. In your shoes, I'd be ensuring that she worked bloody hard on those days!

HarrySnotter · 07/12/2018 17:46

I would’ve thought 3 days essentially “off school” is less of a punishment than isolation.

Well, that really depends on what you plan for her to do while she's at home. If she spends the days on her tablet, chatting to her other friends who have also been excluded or playing video games then it would be less of a punishment, but I'm sure that's not what you have in mind.

AlexaShutUp · 07/12/2018 17:46

GetThePartyStarted Flowers

Halloweenallyearround · 07/12/2018 17:47

It punishes the parent to as you probably have to find childcare and exclusion may see less as she at home, but if she does anything else they are able to move to the next step and remove her from the school permanently.

dippledorus · 07/12/2018 17:48

Absolutely appropriate.

My DD was the victim of an assault aka 'fight' that was shared and sent via what's app facebook snapchat also uploaded to a facebook page.

I am disgusted that your daughter sent the video on tbh and I can't believe that you are querying the punishment given out by the school.

Should be made illegal. And she should be getting a police visit for it in my book. As bad as accessory to assault. And totally and utterly unacceptable.

dippledorus · 07/12/2018 17:49

x post with @getthepartystarted.

It was AWFUL knowing that the footage is out there for ever and being shared around. Awful. Just awful.

The thought that people watched it for the lolz was horrendous. And terribly upsetting.

GetTheStartyParted · 07/12/2018 17:50

@AlexaShutUp
Thank you.
Thankfully he wasn't too hurt but it was weirdly unsettling knowing that others could view it. It's difficult to articulate but it was upsetting.

MrsBombastic · 07/12/2018 17:50

I do think it's reasonable.

Think about it: what is the point of this punishment? To crack down on sharing innapropriate content.

Will she do it again (or more to the point, will YOU make it clear it's not to happen again?).

I think you won't be tolerating anymore of this from your child therefore the punishment has served it's purpose.

Sharing fights/bullying is a huge problem which is why it's so prevalent... did you know that a year 7 girl has been left brain damaged after a much older girl stamped on her head for "looking at her boyfriend" and it was shared online?

Now imagine that was YOUR daughter left in that state and tell me her punishment was innapropriate.

The fact that you are even asking us shows that you also don't understand the severity of what she did and as a mother and adult that needs serious examination on your part.

AlexaShutUp · 07/12/2018 17:52

I can totally see how upsetting it would be to have such a horrible thing effectively being shared around for entertainment/gossip. Awful.

Flowers for dippledorus too.

GetTheStartyParted · 07/12/2018 17:53

@dippledorus
Hope your DD is ok Flowers

dippledorus · 07/12/2018 17:54

Flowers @getthepartystarted sorry I forgot to do that Blush

dippledorus · 07/12/2018 17:56

x posts again I type too slow and get distracted with other stuff.

@getthepartystarted hope your DS is ok too - DD moved schools in the end - that was only the tip of the iceberg of some terrible bullying.

It's horrendous to know it has been shared, isn't it? Seems to make it so much worse than just knowing there was an assault. the filming and sharing of it is just an extra kick in the teeth, if you'll pardon the pun.

SnuggyBuggy · 07/12/2018 17:56

Ask her how she would feel if she was the person being beaten up on footage that was being shared. The punishment is appropriate I think.

ladybee28 · 07/12/2018 17:57

I would’ve thought 3 days essentially “off school” is less of a punishment than isolation.

Not in my house, it wouldn't be.

Greensleeves · 07/12/2018 17:57

Completely reasonable response from the school. If one of my children had done this, I would be livid with him, not complaining about the consequence.

And if one of mine had done this and been excluded for it, he wouldn't be enjoying his 3 day exclusion one little bit.

dippledorus · 07/12/2018 18:01

Why are you treating this as 3 days essentially off school and not going completely and utterly postal on her? Seriously, if one of mine had done this I wouldn't be posting on here gurning about it and saying the punishment from the school wasn't reasonable.

She would be in no doubt at all that her ass was grounded and I was most displeased and she would be doing fuck all until I was sure she was very sorry.

GetTheStartyParted · 07/12/2018 18:01

@dippledorus
My son was about to sit his GCSE's when it happened. He had a black eye, split lip and chipped teeth. I insisted on calling the police (he didn't want to).

They were wonderful, my DS decided not to press charges in the end but having the support of the police helped him through it all.

He is now studying elsewhere and away from all the trouble. He is doing great, I'm so proud.

Swipe left for the next trending thread