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Original poster

Excluded for uploading fight video

98 replies

TickleMyPickle · 07/12/2018 17:31

My daughter ( year 7 ) has been excluded from school for 3 days for uploading a fight between 2 boys that happened outside of school grounds but in school uniform.
I am shocked by this punishment if I’m honest, does it seem reasonable to you?

OP posts:

ladybee28 · 07/12/2018 18:29

Not wanting to de-rail the thread, but this is also exactly why it rats me off so much when parents let children use social media.

They are children, there are minimum age guidelines for a reason, and exposing your kid to platforms where it's so easy for someone lacking emotional maturity to screw up spectacularly like this is not "helping them learn to use it responsibly". It's setting them up to fail, and potentially hurt other people in the process.

Nicknacky · 07/12/2018 18:31

Excellent, good to know the school is taking it seriously.

If she was my child then she would soon realise that exclusion was the least of her worries.

You don’t sound too concerned about her behaviour.

HarrySnotter · 07/12/2018 18:32

You still haven't said what you believe is a suitable sanction OP. What punishment will you be putting in place on these three days at home?

Piffpaffpoff · 07/12/2018 18:33

Utterly reasonable. It’s potentially a sackable offence once she’s in employment so she’s learning a valuable lesson just now.

Notacluethisxmas · 07/12/2018 18:34

More often than not, 2 kids arranging to fight do so because they feel the have to. Not because they enjoy it.

Your daughter circulated a video of two teenagers hitting eachother.

The punishment is appropriate. I would be removing her phone. She clearly isn't responsible enough to have it.

keepingbees · 07/12/2018 18:36

To be honest I'm glad the school have taken it seriously and done this.

These videos make me sick. Imagine it was your child getting beaten up for entertainment.

overnightangel · 07/12/2018 18:38

What measures are you going to take yourself OP??

SnuggyBuggy · 07/12/2018 18:38

I agree, I don't think teens that age are old enough for social media or camera phones

Original poster

TickleMyPickle · 07/12/2018 18:38

I think it would be more of a punishment for her to be in isolation at school.
She doesn’t have any social media, she uploaded it into a group iMessage chat with 2 other girls in it.
She had 2 exciting activities with friends booked for this weekend that she is not allowed to do now and she will have to go to my Husbands office with him for the 3 days, school will be providing her with some course work to do.
She’s in her room sobbing that she’ll never be able to get a job now because of this, so she very much understands that she’s done something very wrong and that she is in trouble!

OP posts:

Russell19 · 07/12/2018 18:39

This exclusion will stay on your DDs record. If you are seeing it as a lesser punishment than isolation you are very wrong. It is about as bad as it gets apart from permanent exclusion.

ExcitedForChristmas18 · 07/12/2018 18:43

If the video was sent privately between her and two friends in an Imessgae group chat, then how did the school manage to follow the chain and find out about these???? I'm confused??

So she gets to keep her phone then.
And just misses two outings 🙄

Nicknacky · 07/12/2018 18:44

The school can’t put them all in isolation. Support the school on there appropriate sanction.

SnuggyBuggy · 07/12/2018 18:45

This won't stop her getting a job but if she was prosecuted for this sort of thing then that would come up. Hopefully she will learn her lesson and never do it again. Better this happens at a school level.

Nicknacky · 07/12/2018 18:46

Their! Can’t believe I misspelt that!

yumscrumfatbum · 07/12/2018 18:50

I think the punishment is appropriate. Even if you don't think it is I think it is important to support the school in the punishment they have given your DD. I'd look at this as a learning opportunity for her. She has done something wrong and she needs to understand the implications of her actions. Schools take hard line with social media issues, quite rightly.

BitchQueen90 · 07/12/2018 19:01

Yes I do think it is appropriate. This kind of thing is humiliating and nasty. My DS is only 5 but best believe as he gets older I will be making it very clear to him what I think of those sorts of videos and exactly what kind of trouble he will be in if he participates.

GetTheStartyParted · 07/12/2018 19:05

@Avrannakern
Sorry for using the incorrect term!
The police asked if he would ask friends to be witnesses, would be willing to go to court etc and if he wanted to take any further action. My son decided not to. Seemed easier to phrase it the way I did.

SleepingStandingUp · 07/12/2018 19:22

So OP you think it's an over punishment because it'll stay on her record or any nder punishment because she'll enjoy it?

DP has to play bad cop. No mobile phone whilst she's with him, packed lunch, homework done. Not sitting in Dad's chair messaging her mates that she's off to Nando's for lunch. It's perfectly easy for this to not be fin

dippledorus · 07/12/2018 19:27

If she has iMessage and was able to upload that without you knowing, then she either has an ipad, an iphone or a macbook or iMac or some other apple device that you haven't monitored properly.

AnyFucker · 07/12/2018 19:27

Excellent

Halloweenallyearround · 07/12/2018 19:51

At 11 she should of already known. Both boys choose to fight doesn't mean it's right.
It's good for here to be at work with your dh that way you both learnt that you both should of taught her better.

You and your dh are to blame and so is she not the school.
Making excuses and reason for the punishment being to hard as it doesn't suit you.

Foxyloxy1plus1 · 07/12/2018 20:58

The fixed term exclusion will be on her record. She is culpable as she shared this film with others and it matters not whether it was staged, pre planned, accidental, or a spur of the moment fight.

I think it was a very foolish thing to do, especially at the start of secondary school. She’ll have to work very hard to keep herself off the school’s radar and she’s only been there a term.

Children, for that is what they are, need to understand that social media and the internet must be used with extreme care and can really be a poisoned chalice. I hope she will take a lesson from this and keep her head down for the next four and a half years.

gobbin · 07/12/2018 21:06

If there were a number involved the school may not have had room for internal exclusion for all of them.

‘Social’ media has a shit lot to answer for. Better she learns the lesson now than later. Sharing anything inappropriate, with or without consent, needs slamming down on hard in my opinion. Good on her school (and you for backing it up at home.)

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