Boyfriend claiming and I'm pregnant

[nicoleginge]

So I've moved in with my boyfriend and he's claiming Job Seekers Allowance and I've happily fallen pregnant.
He is looking for a job and he's really trying.
We are currently living with his parents and we both individually pay rent to them.
I do not support him money wise and we are now saving up for a baby.
I'm only on a 16 hour contract and Male about £130 a week.

How will this affect his JSA?
Because we have been told by some people that his would stop all together and we will have to live of £130 a week and save for a baby which is impossible.
It's really stressing me out.

About 2 years ago they took me to court for apparently frauding them. Which I didn't but because I didn't have enough evidence. Apparently a phone record and written evidence from the job center wasn't enough they still got me don't for it.

What do we do. We just want to have a happy life and get through this pregnancy without so much stress.

You should have used condoms. Failing that, you should abstain from sex if you are willingly refusing birth control as you do not live in a fit environment to raise a baby.

Copper coil has no hormones or there's condoms. Op you sound very young and naive.

Condom depression?

Diaphragm (if they still do them)

Condoms
Diaphragm with spermicidal lube
Copper coil
Ovulation charting/rhythm method
Withdrawal method (done properly and only if you 100% trust your partner to pull out every time- not sure I would trust yours)

Heard it all now Love to hear how condoms, diaphragms etc cause depression.

There's always abstinence to avoid pregnancy.

Another one wondering what’s wrong with condoms. But you say you happily fell pregnant so I’ll assume you wanted a baby.

No one has a stress free pregnancy. Both my husband and I work ft in stable jobs and own our home and despite saving before ttc and cutting right back now I’m pregnant it’s still stressful making sure we’ll be able to cover the short fall when I’m off next year.

You’re not in a great place OP. How long has your partner been out of work? Has he ever lived away from his parents? Why hasn’t he managed to get a job? Data entry, cleaning, call centre, any type of retail, warehouse work, temping? There are jobs out there and he’s not in a position to be picky.

If you can’t extend your hours are you looking for a ft or a second job? If not see his parents willing to support you both and pay for everything for your baby? You can’t afford to save on the little you have coming in. Tbh I’m not sure how you afford to eat. I don’t find being pregnant all that cheap either. I’m eating like a horse, taking vitamins, had to buy new bras which already don’t really fit, second hand stuff for the baby, not splashing out at all but it still costs money.

@Caprisunorange

40% unemployment in Dundee?

Eh?

Where, in the name of the wee man, did you get this statistic from?

The unemployment rate in Dundee is 3.4%.

I don't know why everybody is being so judgemental and nasty. The OP said her boyfriend is trying so hard to find work and I believe her. I'm unemployed as well and it's soul destroying. Clearly all of you "perfect" Mums have worked since you were 14 and have never once claimed JSA. Whoopee for you

I would LOVE to be able to walk straight into a job.

At least the OP is actually working. She's not sitting on her arse all day.

You all should be ashamed of yourselves.

www.thescottishsun.co.uk/news/2162498/scottish-city-highest-unemployment-rate-in-uk/

The Scottish sun (that literary masterpiece lol) tbf it says employment rate is 64% which means 36% are not working but not necessarily counted in unemployment statistics

Some of the comments on this thread! Honestly OP I wouldn’t bother looking for any help or support here.
Give citizens advice a call? They should be able to advise you. As a couple with one person earning £130 a week a should think even in today’s climate there should be some sort of support available to you.

In your situation I would be telling your boyfriend to spend Monday going to all factories he can find to hand in his CV. In the area I live many people claim there are no jobs, but there are many factory jobs that you could walk into the next day. And climb the ranks quickly if you graft.

If there are no jobs he needs to create his own work. Cleaning, dog walking, taking in ironing, handyman, buying and selling on Facebook, babysitting.

@Caprisunorange

It doesn't actually work that way.

Essentially, the employment rate is the % of the workforce actually in work (so the difference includes sahp's, people who chose not to work, people who are unable to work due to sickness etc)

The unemployment rate is the % of the workforce who do not have a job & are looking for work.

Purposely getting pregnant in your circumstances wasn't the smartest of decisions, don't make it worse by being involved in benefit fraud again.

Of course you can't afford to save for a baby you only work 16 hours while the man(?) who thought it was a good idea to ttc with you does fuck all. No one is going to come knocking on your (mums) door and hand out cash or offer either of you jobs to afford a baby. If there is no work locally you or your dp need to move to where there is work so you can afford to raise a family.

For your child's sake you both need to start making proper plans and better decisions, especially you, as father's are well known for not sticking around in these circumstances and it doesn't look like you'll get any child maintenance support from him either.

Good luck 🍀 you'll need it.

For those saying there aren't enough jobs and not be hard on op, would you purposely ttc while working pt, living with your mum and your unemployed partner, with no plans to improve the situation and no savings? She needs a good dose of the reality she has choosen to bring a child into.

Are you living in someone else’s house and planning to get pregnant GivingBloodFeelingGreat?

Plenty of us have been made redundant or been out of work temporarily through no fault of our own. It’s a bad time to take on additional financial stress and responsibility. Plenty of us have also known that supporting ourselves means not being too fussy to do just about anything to bring in a wage and got on with doing so. DH went from a poncy job in graphic design to working nights in a warehouse with no prior experience. I’ve been a carer, stuffed envelopes, made sandwiches, pulled pints, worked in many offices, in shops, crap hours, good hours, awful money, good money, jsa for a couple of months. It’s what you do to keep a roof over your head and the wolf from the door.

@GivingBloodFeelingGreat he really is looking hard for a job. He's applied to every job he able to.

We do have the support of mine and his family so we are ok atm.

All I was asking is if it would affect his jsa that's all.

People are just quick to be mean and aholes.
I've tried getting other jobs but no one will employ me while I'm pregnant and I love the job I have now I would never leave it.

So you live together. Had sex without protection, based on the assumption you couldnt get pregnant- without any actual medical investigation to confirm or deny fertility. You are trying to claim you don't live together, because you pay rent separately to his parents. If that's the case- yes you are attempting to defraud. Can you move to an area where there is better job options?

So the situation is that you have previously defrauded the government, willingly and deliberately got pregnant despite your partner being unemployed and you only being part time, are defrauding them again, and yet you think your family and the state should support you?

Why, exactly?

You deliberately and willfully got yourselves into this mess so sort a way to get out of it yourself without burdening your family or the state.

I can't do birth control because of a family history of blood clots so we use condoms.

It can be really difficult to find a job.

All posters who have been in stable jobs for years, and haven't found themselves in the position of applying for jobs, will not be aware of how difficult it is.

Please ensure that you partner isn't being unrealistic in his expectations, OP. I had to take jobs that given my age and qualifications, were jobs I never envisaged myself doing.

You are getting a pretty hard time on here, but I can understand why. People feel enraged that their taxes are expected to support people in your situation, when they themselves would never have allowed themselves to become pregnant without the means to support a baby.

It's naive to expect to be able to have a stress free preganancy - who does, even when they've planned for it and ensured that they have adequate housing and finances in place to make it as stress free as possible?

Good luck with everything.

Can I ask when you moved in with your partner? I'm no expert, but think that the state might try to claw back some payments from your partner on the basis that if this has been going on for some weeks/months, and he's been fraudulently claiming benefits, he will have been overpaid according to the law.

You have to be transparent with the benefits agency, or whatever it's called these days.

people are quick to be mean and aholes is one way of looking at the comments. There was a recent thread about household incomes and it was pretty obvious that on MN the average household income is significantly higher than the national average household income. So you’ve come to the wrong place for sympathy (and I appreciate that wasn’t your reason for posting). The responses you are getting are from people

Oops! ......,From people who will essentially be suporting you via their taxes. And when people make decisions about their own families based on what they can afford (like to have no/one/two DC) it really pisses them off when they see other people trot out kids with no regard as to how they are going to finance them.

contraception depression. I’m a doctor. There’s no such thing.

If you can hang on til Brexit there will be plenty of jobs as the Eastern European’s won’t be coming over —to do the back breaking poorly paid jobs that lazy brits think are beneath them—. It’s christmas, almost every shop/delivery outlet going is looking for extra staff. Are you in Bristol? My DB could give your bf a full time job tomorrow, and if he’s any good he’ll keep him on after the New Year.

Chances are you are better to be single and try to get your own home through the council housing associations etc as you will have a higher chance been homed as single