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Original poster

So upset - school trip

151 replies

princessdonna87 · 01/12/2018 00:30

Hi ladies

My daughter (9) was due to go to a panto today. Like a lot of schools we use parentpay. The trip went online on 24 Sep, I paid 25 Sep.

Imagine my surprise when I get home from work to be told by the childminder that my daughter hadn't been allowed to go on the trip as her permission slip was late. Instead, she'd been sat in the reception area all day on an ipad.

Nobody told me she wasn't going, nobody mentioned the slip (I'm pretty sure this was on time, and at any rate it's been 2 months since!)

She was naturally very upset. Especially as kids who hadn't paid got to take the places of kids who were off sick that had paid.

I've emailed the school but obviously it's the weekend, so no reply til at least Monday but I am so so so upset I could cry!!

My daughter looks forward to things more than most due to what she's been through and she only joined the school in September (she lost her dad last year to suicide, and her gran last month unexpectedly, she's moved home and school etc)

She'd been telling everyone about this trip for weeks - I could cry I am so upset!!!!

I don't care about the money, though I would like it refunded - I just don't know how the school can make this any better? She's really upset but not the type of child to make a big deal to other people as she's shy.

She said 2 other kids were also not allowed to go because their slips were late.

Ironically the kids who hadn't paid - their parents were phoned to ask for consent this morning.

I wasn't phoned or contacted in any way!!!!!!

OP posts:
Pinotforever · 01/12/2018 00:33

This is awful Sad. They 100% should have been in contact with you. I hope your DD is okay x

Sugarsnappy · 01/12/2018 00:33

That is ridiculous! If you'd paid but the slip didn't materialise, surely they'd check with you? Even worse that they can contact non paid for children's parents on the day of the trip, but not you? I'd see if I could get the money back and arrange your own special trip

BreconBeBuggered · 01/12/2018 00:34

Oh, God, that is shitty for your poor DD. You'd expect them to be chasing permission slips if they thought any were outstanding.

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Duckyneedsaclean · 01/12/2018 00:34

That's awful! So sorry for your daughter.

BanjoStarz · 01/12/2018 00:37

That’s really crappy, your poor daughter!

I’d also want to know how they managed to get permission from the parents of non paying children but not yours as a paying parent.

That seems really odd.

Ilovealexa · 01/12/2018 00:38

That’s terrible and should not have been allowed to happen. Your poor DD.

Perfectly1mperfect · 01/12/2018 00:42

Sorry for your and your daughters losses. It sounds like you have had a tough time. Flowers

The school are totally in the wrong here.
They should have let you know before the day if they were not letting her go. And they should have refunded you already. I would be speaking to the school on Monday. I hope you can do something nice with her over the weekend.

INeedNewShoes · 01/12/2018 00:45

That is so sad and an unnecessary disappointment for your DD.

The whole thing sounds dreadfully managed. Surely any missing permission slips should have been chased a few days ago. And if they were phoning other parents for consent they could have phoned you.

I would definitely discuss this with school.

Oh how I'm not looking forward to dealing with school stuff like this!

I'm sorry for the terrible time your family is going through Flowers

Jayfee · 01/12/2018 00:52

I am so sorry you are having such a terrible time. I just read your other post. Your daughter has something very special..a mum like you to love her and fight her corner. You are focused on your daughter, but you must be feeling very sad yourself for the things you have experienced. Things will get better.

Pimpernell182 · 01/12/2018 00:56

I imagine this suggestion will go down like a lead balloon in some quarters but I would be looking into making my own reservation to take her to the panto instead of school one day next week and make it the most special day out possible.

She shouldn't have to miss out on a special day away from the classroom because of this kind of oversight.

dogsaster · 01/12/2018 00:57

I'm so sad for your dd

Perfectly1mperfect · 01/12/2018 00:59

I imagine this suggestion will go down like a lead balloon in some quarters but I would be looking into making my own reservation to take her to the panto instead of school one day next week and make it the most special day out possible.

I think this is a good idea.

Pimpernell182 · 01/12/2018 01:00

I'm so sad for your dd

and this, too.

tinselfest · 01/12/2018 01:02

This is ridiculous. Surely paying for the trip implies permission anyway. They've handled this really badly.

I mean, you are hardly going to pay for a school trip and then refuse to give permission for your child to go, are you?

Original poster
princessdonna87 · 01/12/2018 01:17

jayfee - lovely words thank you :)

thank you for all the replies. I'm just so sad for her. I think taking her to the panto on a school day is a great idea and I will do this!

They must have the slip to know its late so they had consent. The whole thing infuriates me too!

OP posts:
panago · 01/12/2018 01:20

Absolutely would be taking her out of school one day next week to take her. This is shocking behaviour on the schools part.

MonsterKidz · 01/12/2018 01:25

This is beyond dreadful.

If they thought the slip was returned late. You should have been notified.

How could you not just take a child without checking or informing the parent first?

Obviously you have to wait till Monday for a reply, but I’d be emailing the Head and her teacher as well as anyone else in the school you have the details of (office etc) and is be copying in the borough/council as well.

This is absolutely disgusting from the school!!

Iloveautumnleaves · 01/12/2018 01:29

I’m so sorry, poor wee thing 😢

As for the school, I’d be FURIOUS.

You PAID that’s a pretty clear indication they have your permission to take her. If they didn’t have the paperwork they needed, they should have contacted you well before today.

....but to allow another child to go in her place without even trying to get your permission is shit, knowing your DD’s had a really hard time time of it makes it spectacularly shit of them.

I’d be expecting an explanation for why they hadn’t been in touch re the missing permission slip before today when you clearly had given permission for her to go (given you’d paid) and why YOU hadn’t been called today to attempt to sort it out. I would also expect an apology and a refund. The money might not matter as such because it can’t change her missing out on going today, but it’s yours, not theirs.

Then if you can afford it, I’d say to DD that I know it won’t make up for missing out on the trip today, but would she like to see what pantomimes are on and see if you can get tickets for you and her to go and maybe have lunch out and do some Christmas shopping together or something. IF you can’t afford to do that you could have an at home treat like a Christmas movie amd making cards or something.

Please make sure the school knows how upset DD is at missing out on this experience with her new friends and how bloody upset you are for her after everything she has been through they managed to cock up something she was really excited about.

Idiots. Absolute bloody idiots. 🤬

MadisonAvenue · 01/12/2018 01:30

This is dreadful! I feel so sad for your daughter.

Pimpernell182 · 01/12/2018 01:32

I hope you & your DD have a really lovely day, it sounds like you deserve it. Maybe you could have a special breakfast, or afternoon tea, or whatever, and / or look at the Christmas lights / shop windows or something nice and Christmassy wherever you are. I hope you can make her feel its much more special than what she missed.

MaverickSnoopy · 01/12/2018 01:34

In our area paying via parentpay constitutes consent.

I'm so sorry that your DD missed this. It's so deeply unfair for her. I'm so sorry that you're both going through such a horrible time. We were through a similar period of bereavement (3 close family members and lots of other change within a year, a couple of years back) and it really impacted DD. So much so I ended up getting in touch with a local bereavement charity for children and she had a referral to PCAHMS.

In your shoes I would also take her out of school for a trip to the panto. It's usually in the afternoon though so you could possibly pick her up at lunchtime. I would use this Christmas as a time to plan lots of nice activities to give her other things to focus on, but I would also do something to help her remember those she has lost, perhaps a memory box that she can look at.

As for the school. I would be furious. Call on Monday, but do gather the facts first. I would be pushing for the time you take her out of school for your panto trip (if you do), to be authorised. After all, the rest of the school had it authorised.

endofthelinefinally · 01/12/2018 01:35

This is nasty, petty, bullying behaviour. It sounds absolutely deliberate. Your poor dd. You must make a written complaint because this cannot have been an accident or oversight.
I agree that you should take her out for a day yourself.

Topseyt · 01/12/2018 01:36

Oh that's dreadful. You and your DD have been through so much too! I am so sorry.

I would agree with a PP that your payment clearly implies your permission for your DD to go on the trip, so if there was any question about the permission slip they should have contacted you.

Did you personally hand in the slip? Did you put it in DD's school bag and it got forgotten? Even if that were the case, once they saw your payment and couldn't match it up with a slip they could have prompted DD to check her bag and then called you as necessary.

Appallingly badly handled by them, and I would be letting them know. I would also demand a refund and tell them that I would be taking her to the pantomime myself, very possibly during school time and that under the circumstances I would expect them to authorise the necessary absence to make up for their cock up.

WoldkirkosTheEvilBitch · 01/12/2018 01:43

Especially as kids who hadn't paid got to take the places of kids who were off sick that had paid.

That makes no sense at all.

You paid but they couldn't find a signed permission slip so your daughter didn't go.

Why would the parents who didn't pay for the panto have bothered to fill in a permission slip that wasn't needed?

WoldkirkosTheEvilBitch · 01/12/2018 01:45

Oh ignore me, I totally missed the last part of your post.

"Ironically the kids who hadn't paid - their parents were phoned to ask for consent this morning."

My screen is leaping around like a bloody kangaroo tonight!

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