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Original poster

So upset - school trip

151 replies

princessdonna87 · 01/12/2018 00:30

Hi ladies

My daughter (9) was due to go to a panto today. Like a lot of schools we use parentpay. The trip went online on 24 Sep, I paid 25 Sep.

Imagine my surprise when I get home from work to be told by the childminder that my daughter hadn't been allowed to go on the trip as her permission slip was late. Instead, she'd been sat in the reception area all day on an ipad.

Nobody told me she wasn't going, nobody mentioned the slip (I'm pretty sure this was on time, and at any rate it's been 2 months since!)

She was naturally very upset. Especially as kids who hadn't paid got to take the places of kids who were off sick that had paid.

I've emailed the school but obviously it's the weekend, so no reply til at least Monday but I am so so so upset I could cry!!

My daughter looks forward to things more than most due to what she's been through and she only joined the school in September (she lost her dad last year to suicide, and her gran last month unexpectedly, she's moved home and school etc)

She'd been telling everyone about this trip for weeks - I could cry I am so upset!!!!

I don't care about the money, though I would like it refunded - I just don't know how the school can make this any better? She's really upset but not the type of child to make a big deal to other people as she's shy.

She said 2 other kids were also not allowed to go because their slips were late.

Ironically the kids who hadn't paid - their parents were phoned to ask for consent this morning.

I wasn't phoned or contacted in any way!!!!!!

OP posts:
IHaveAPen · 02/12/2018 12:19

That's awful. Our school has an online payment system and payment of any kind, cash or online is taken as proof of consent.

After all why would you pay if you don't consent?

SheCameFromGreeceSheHadaThirst · 02/12/2018 12:21

I'd be booking a meeting with the board of governors first thing mONDAY MORNING.

Because the group of voluntary people are just waiting for a phone call on Monday morning to come and have a meeting about something that will probably be sorted out at form teacher level.

GrinGrinGrin

You mean the governors won't all be taking time off work on Monday morning to hot-foot it into school to adjudicate an administrative error and a bit of dubious hearsay?

Lightsdown · 02/12/2018 12:25

I would be going down the formal complaint route - what a terrible way to treat a young child. She will have bern mortified at being singles out as well.

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ChasedByBees · 02/12/2018 12:39

This is awful, your poor DD. What they did was inexcusable.

tinstar · 02/12/2018 12:42

schools can't demand payment, it has to be voluntary, so why would they do that?

My understanding is that schools can't insist on payment for educational trips, but for entertainment type trips they can.

tinstar · 02/12/2018 12:46

I'd be booking a meeting with the board of governors first thing mONDAY MORNING.

My understanding of this was that the poster meant that first thing on Monday morning they would be asking for a meeting with the board of governors to be arranged. I doubt they were expecting the whole board to rush to the school first thing on Monday morning.

However, that's the wrong approach. I would take it up with the school first to see if there has been a genuine error/misunderstanding. If no satisfactory explanation is given then the op should write to the chair of governors.

woodhill · 02/12/2018 12:51

Disgusted too.

Why couldn't they have called you to double check on the day.

MyOtherProfile · 02/12/2018 12:53

Don't go in looking to book a meeting with the governors. That's not what governors are for. Instead download the school's complaints policy and follow that... although I would suggest seeing the head first.

Topseyt · 02/12/2018 12:55

Apple23, you seriously need to get that post deleted. The OP very clearly explained in her very first post what her family situation is.

You have been insensitive.

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig · 02/12/2018 13:01

Apple23 please read the whole thread properly in future. Ffs.

SheCameFromGreeceSheHadaThirst · 02/12/2018 13:02

I acknowledge that Apple didn't spot the pertinent detail regarding the father, but the OP's other thread mentions that her daughter is undergoing psychotherapy and is suffering PTSD due to the domestic violence and emotional abuse she witnessed from her father, so the OP isn't necessarily a heartbroken widow.

brizzledrizzle · 02/12/2018 13:14

FFS Apple, at least read the whole of the OPs post before replying so insensitively Angry

WhyAmISoCold · 02/12/2018 13:26

I'd be devastated for my poor child and fuming with the school if they refused to let her go because the slip was late but kept the money and contacted others on the day to get permission. Awful way to go about the whole thing.

MistyMeena · 02/12/2018 13:35

As a teacher, I'm furious on your behalf. What they did is absurd, what were they thinking? Poor girl.
I'd be going to the governors too and I don't say that lightly.
And yes to taking her to the panto on a school day!

MadeForThis · 02/12/2018 13:47

So the money was paid. And the slip WAS returned but it was late??

If they refused to take your dd despite having the money and a permission slip I would be at the office door on Monday morning going mental.

BarbaraRoyale · 02/12/2018 14:28

that's awful

BumsexAtTheBingo · 02/12/2018 15:19

It’s really sad for your dd but I think it’s highly unlikely to have been due to a late permission slip if they were allowing children to fill the places of absent children. They would presumably have had to obtain permission from those parents the same morning?? I would hope efforts had been made to contact you for permission as well. No teacher would want to leave a disappointed child behind.
Whether payment is taken as implicit permission would depend on school policy and also whether payments are clearly labelled for specific trips.
I would have a chat and find out what happened. If they don’t count payment as implicit permission then I would make sure permission slips are given in at the office in future or double check they have been received. Also make sure you are contactable in the day of trips in case there’s any issues in future.
And I would definitely be taking your dd for a treat but probably not in school time.

ElideLochan · 02/12/2018 19:15

did they explain why they didnt phone you?

Lumpy76 · 02/12/2018 21:08

This is so spectacularly poor of the school I would actually remove your DD from it. I would want to know exactly why I hadn’t been contacted & why they felt a suitable alternative was an iPad in the reception! To single out a vulnerable child like this is just beyond comprehension.

Recently my DD has been invited to do a group activity within school run by an outside agency (dd is undx asd - and wouldn’t allow me to return the consent form) on the day I was rung and I explained the situation (dd anxious and wouldn’t allow me to return consent - I couldn’t go against her wishes due to breaking trust and a group wasn’t worth doing that for) I gave verbal permission over the phone for DD to go to the group provided she was happy to do so, which she was once she knew what she was doing.

DoveSecret · 02/12/2018 21:32

School secretary here. I would have called you for the permission slip. Paying means @yes, she’s coming “ but that slip needs to be in as it contains the emergency contact details.

But my school (like thousands of others) also has a policy if no charge for trips and we ask for a contribution only of X amount per child. Its not compulsory.

School is at fault

MrsWombat · 03/12/2018 17:34

Did you manage to speak to the school?

Zulor · 03/12/2018 17:43

I really feel for your poor daughter. Now all the other kids are going to be talking about their lovely trip and she'll be totally left out. Awful act.

IWentAwayIStayedAway · 04/12/2018 05:09

Did you get speaking to anyone on monday?

Mayra1367 · 04/12/2018 06:51

Any updates?

Original poster
princessdonna87 · 04/12/2018 20:41

quick update - the school called yesterday and profusely apologised, the headteacher said he was livid this had happened and it was a clerical error, that he wants to make it up to my daughter by offering a free family ticket to the same panto, or a ticket for her and some friends.

OP posts: