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Original poster

Trapped in a coffee shop because I’m being too British (LH)

425 replies

TaterHater · 27/11/2018 09:43

I got a text this morning from a friend saying she was unwell and could we change our coffee date for tomorrow (no I’m working) but anyway- reply in the usual manner one does.

I decided to come into town and have a browse but coffee first- I grabbed my order and sat down and said unwell friend is in with a couple of friends and they’ve sat down. She hasn’t seen me yet.

I’m actually rooted to my seat and wondering how to get out without putting a bag on my head- no wait- I shouldn’t be embarrassed she should !

Every fibre of my being says sit and sip the coffee slowly and hope they get out fast or paper bag option.

OP posts:
BumbleyBum · 27/11/2018 20:15

This is brilliant Grin well done op, good riddance to her

Maelstrop · 27/11/2018 20:16

I would have swanned out on my phone, loudly, massive coffee in the other, totally ignoring her then just as she thought she'd got away with it, I'd have stopped, looked over my imaginary Audrey Hepburn sunglasses, said 'Bitch' directly at her, waited a beat for her to get th full effect then left.

Actually, I'd probably try to escape unnoticed cos I am SHIT at confrontation.

RollerJed · 27/11/2018 20:22

OP you've done well, it's a shit situation to find yourself in Flowers

But FFS the Mirror, is this REALLY news worthy?

yawning801 · 27/11/2018 20:35

This thread is the funniest that I've read for a long time!

In my mind, I would have been doing most of the suggested things on this thread, but in real life... cringing into my seat like you were! And if your tits were out like a ledge, did that mean that you could have taken her a drink on them? Would have kept your hands free to drop a Lemsip into it Grin

mumof2sarah · 27/11/2018 20:46

Is there still no updates OP. I know it's hurts you a bit the lying but I hope that the support and love, and humour, you've been given has helped you through it xx

GunpowderGelatine · 27/11/2018 20:58

OMG OP thank you for giving us the best thread MN has seen in ages! I'm howling!

ZenNudist · 27/11/2018 21:00

God thats a shit news story. In other news check out page 5 for our pictures of paint drying.

Original poster
TaterHater · 27/11/2018 21:03

Holy crap
If you think that this is funny I need to get off my ass and start writing a blog-

My llife is literally these kinds of scenarios stitched together with me screaming “get off your phones” and “it’s in the 2nd drawer on the left” at my children

There’s nothing else Grin

OP posts:
MsMightyTitanAndHerTroubadours · 27/11/2018 21:16

if i have the right bra on, my tits are a ledge.

Dh gets all moonfaced, I lean over a lot and talk about going to Costco and Ikea and ook weekends away, he just nods along.

Well done OP, I hope your CF friend is feeling all shrivelled and flattitted inside. It's what she deserves.

OrdinarySnowflake · 27/11/2018 21:31

You sound cheery, but it must have been really upsetting at the time.

So glad you didn't just hide. I don't think I'd have coped as well and would have felt like I'd done something bad by catching her out...

scatteredglitter · 27/11/2018 21:37

I think you handled it well. It s your (faux) friend that should be rightly embarrassed and ashamed. I hope she sends an apology.

Squizzard · 27/11/2018 22:30

.

delboysskinandblister · 27/11/2018 23:34

well done you OP. One less Christmas card for you to write/gift to buy.

Pray she ends up friends with Audrey.

Rememory · 28/11/2018 02:51

I vote classics too

halfwitpicker · 28/11/2018 02:58

She still wanted a coffee herself, so went to the same spot they planned to go to - only to see her friend walk in there with other mates.
^^

As if anyone would be that dumb.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 28/11/2018 08:39

?? But OP went to a different coffee shop in a different town. She said so, pages ago!

SoupDragon · 28/11/2018 08:49

It was just a lucky/unfortunate (depending on your view) coincidence.

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 28/11/2018 09:13

Didn't you block your "friend" on social media after your saw her? Maybe explains her "silence"

WellThisIsShit · 28/11/2018 10:00

I’m pretty sure the OP would work out little details like that Breakfast!

Original poster
TaterHater · 28/11/2018 11:52

Breakfast
She still has my cell number and email address

Nothing- silence. However I know she’s actively posting on SM. I have a business account and she might have forgotten we’re connected on there.

I know we have some social things coming up where she’s bound to be as we are connected through our children - debating whether this is a great excuse to dodge them (winner)

Goodness have I been Wendied? Am I a Wendee? Grin

OP posts:
DarlingNikita · 28/11/2018 11:55

Doesn't Wendying involve someone else coming between you and a friend?

She's feeling guilty and/or defiant, is what it is.

Mumshotel · 28/11/2018 12:14

I love this thread and OP you were fab. But honesty The Mirror what a week and odd story for a national newspaper to pass off as journalism. Is it fake. Did someone create that?

Original poster
TaterHater · 28/11/2018 13:29

mumshotel I can assure you I’m not a journalist.

I cannot write for starters Grin

OP posts:
NotAnotherNewUsername · 28/11/2018 14:14

She still has my cell number and email address

Cell number? I'd assumed you were in the Uk, OP?

Mumshotel · 28/11/2018 14:19

Oh no I didn't think you were. Just think very lazy and inappropriate journalism for a national newspaper. Great for a mumsnet thread tho, I really enjoyed it. Think the mirror might need to spend their time reporting on other things. This is hardly up there with brexit or a royal wedding. I find the mirror odd for doing this.