I’ve just birthed a fossilised tampon...what do I do?!

[MedicinalGin]

Hello.
I’m so embarrassed about this. Have had loads of weird discharge for the past few days and was getting really worried- suddenly this happened. I feel quite well and everything but could I now have an infection or something? It must have been in there for two weeks.

Do I just presume I will now be fine or should I seek official advice (seriously hoping I don’t have to).

Excuse me while I now go and 🤢

I actually feel a bit queasy/faint at the thought of washing and drying 'up inside'

Or that ovulation is 'sticky and dirty'. Nothing like wet, juicy, squidgy ovulation sex with that heavenly cock smell .

Just like it clean and dry.
Said no one ever

[Grin]

Whoever said they aim a shower up there is basically just wanking. Lets be honest most women will have tried the shower head routine. Tis naice.
I much prefer new car smell to zoflora. Good polish with a j cloth and some t cunt and your away

MN at its finest. Just like the good old pouch of Douglas days.

Wash inside!!?? Flipping heck! Definitely a very bad idea - do not do this please/

I had American friends who were obsessed with cleaning ‘inside
They sell a mentholated special wash, I've used it loads.
You just either clean right in whilst sat in the bath or give it a quick squirt inside with the shower.
As if it was something revolting
It kind of is? You wouldn't cope with that slime anywhere else, and wouldn't let saliva pool in your mouth. You'd clean your teeth and use mouthwash for hygiene purposes.

I only clean inside if husband's you know what is refusing to come out ( sorry tmi).

Whoever said they aim a shower up there is basically just wanking
Er no I just wash the slime/blood off and dry. Of course others may just wipe outside and wait for the gunge and smell to work it's way out, 10 mins later.

Don't let saliva pool in your mouth? 😂

This is the funniest thread I've read in ages. I can't work out if some people genuinely wash inside or are just trying to make everyone laugh.

Er no I just wash the slime/blood off and dry. Of course others may just wipe outside and wait for the gunge and smell to work it's way out, 10 mins later.

I just put a new tampon in when I get out the shower. Besides, fresh period blood doesn’t really smell like anything.

Cleaning all the good bacteria out of your vagina as you’re doing is probably the reason yours DOES smell.

The same happened to me when I was a teenager.
I started getting black dishcharge,it was absolutely vile. I was at boarding school at the time and didn't dare tell anyone.
One day I went to do a poo and pushed out a black tampon at the same time.
It was so disgusting. I figured I must have put an extra one in during my period and pushed the other one further in.
There is no another smell like it 🤮

This is the funniest thread I've read in ages. I can't work out if some people genuinely wash inside or are just trying to make everyone laugh.
Surely some must be satire? Still reading it and imagine people actually doing this stuff though, hilarious.

And unless you've made sure your hands are clean, especially under the fingernails, you're more likely to give yourself an infection rather than avoid one.

And on no account allow a penis in there unless it has been scrubbed with a nail brush and Dettol.

And remember... The human mouth has more germs than the human arsehole. So none of that either.

You lot are so funny, crying here.

What slime are you referring to?! I have no slime.

Oh good God! No one needs to know about sootikins!

How smelly are you steak that you have to squirt mentholated wash up your chuff? I think you have caused yourself an infection if you are that slimy and smelly.

I feel sad that there are women out there who describe their natural discharge as “slime” and oresfer to be “dry”.

OP go to see your doctor first thing in the morning, you will definately have an infection and lucky if it is not sepsis.

Maybe in future do not use tampons they are not the safest menstrual product to use.

Do hope you are ok. xx

Slime! You're gonna need the Gashbusters.

Santorum

(ducks and runs)