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Defriended a colleague from FB. Wondering if I should tell her or see if she notices.

173 replies

AbitComplex · 10/11/2018 12:22

My colleague and I became FB friends when I started working in the dept, along with other colleagues.

It was all nice in the beginning, until she started to comment on things I put on FB, so I decided to make her an acquaintance and change my posts to friends except acquaintances. Thinking she would stop, but she has carried on.

I’m not sure if she can somehow still see my posts through comments from other people, or can’t see them and goes into my account to see what I’ve written, but she still goes out of her way to comment when she sees me next.

So a (boring) example is, I posted about some soup I’d made, joking along the lines that “it was tasty, even though I say so myself” followed by laughing emoticon.

The next time I saw her, she commented “oooh, I made some soup the other day, but mine had white wine in it though, it was sooooooo delicious “.

Right , okay. Could have been a coincidence that it was the same flavour....

Not long after, a friend and I decided to complete a four mile walk. We both completed it, and it went on FB. Well, my colleague somehow miraculously walked five miles that very same week....with a dodgy hip and knee..
And many more..

I just smile and nod slowly when she says these things, maybe I should have cocked my head to one side Mumsnet style, but never mind.

Anyway I got fed up and defriended her. I feel better already, but if she’s been checking my posts, she’s going to notice anyway, so should I be upfront and tell her, or not tell her and have some fun with this?

So as not to dripfeed, she is quite a rude and entitled person, and has been getting on all of our nerves lately, that plus the comments have now driven me to defriend her.

OP posts:
FlibbertyGiblets · 10/11/2018 12:27

Och just block her. Then she definitely can't see your activity. Why would you tell her, no need or point.

formerbabe · 10/11/2018 12:29

Are you grown adults?! Confused

All sounds very petty and childish to me.

Imsoimso · 10/11/2018 12:32

She has been getting on all our nerves recently?

Who's the all?

Sounds like you want to bitch about her and 'have a some fun with this'.

How old are you? 10?

AbitComplex · 10/11/2018 12:33

I suppose not @FlibbertyGiblets. I’ve blocked her also.

I dont understand why she feels the need to comment on what I post about.

OP posts:
PuppyMonkey · 10/11/2018 12:33

So, essentially, every time you post about something on FB, she has to do something similar that is slightly better than you? It sounds quite annoying but I’d be tempted to see the funny side of it myself and just ignore.

Hushnownobodycares · 10/11/2018 12:36

I don't have FB but if I did I wouldn't have anyone from work on it.

Telling her will more than likely end in drama. Is that what you're after?

Wideeyedandlegless · 10/11/2018 12:37

Oh, so now I know why I've been 'demoted' to acquaintances with some fb 'friends'.

Embarrassed much!

AbitComplex · 10/11/2018 12:40

I felt uncomfortable having what I posted on FB scrutinised.

I thought I’d taken steps to stop her commenting, being proactive, but she carried on.

I never commented on stuff she put on FB.
If she doesn’t like me, why bother making the effort to comment on the things I do?

OP posts:
HaroldsSocalledBluetits · 10/11/2018 12:40

I don't understand why you would post about something and then get pissed off with people commenting on it. If you don't want comments, don't post.

NotUmbongoUnchained · 10/11/2018 12:41

I dont understand why she feels the need to comment on what I post about

I don’t think you understand what Facebook is about Confused

GoldenKelpie · 10/11/2018 12:43

She is clearly trying to make small talk, but rather badly it seems. As you don't like her anyway, whatever she does or says will irritate you as you are biased against her. Do her a favour and block.

HaroldsSocalledBluetits · 10/11/2018 12:44

You feel uncomfortable with your Facebook being scrutinized? What do you think Facebook is? You put stuff on there for people to see and comment on. That's the point.

I suggest you get a diary.

longestlurkerever · 10/11/2018 12:45

This seems bizarre to me. I'm can understand it's slightly awkward if someone you find annoying is invading your home life and you can't just delete them without creating awkwardness, but commenting on posts is normal, surely? Maybe you want a secret diary rather than a Facebook account?

SlowlyShrinking · 10/11/2018 12:49

Don’t put the mundane details of your life online if you don’t want people to comment on them. She probably thinks you enjoy talking about soup. You can’t blame her for drawing that conclusion, can you? Confused

AbitComplex · 10/11/2018 12:50

That’s exactly it @PuppyMonkey, but it’s everything I do.

I’d rather she didnt say anything at all.
It’s like she’s ‘owning’ my post, then stamping all over it.

No, I don’t want drama, I just want her to get as pissed off as me when she realises she can’t carry on. Probably a harsh lesson defriending her, but it’s been awful being on the receiving end.

OP posts:
Howhot · 10/11/2018 12:52

I think you're being weird OP. Why share things on FB if you don't want people to interact with you?? Maybe you need to come off.

HaroldsSocalledBluetits · 10/11/2018 12:53

Christ.

AbitComplex · 10/11/2018 12:56

@SlowlyShrinking, I did say it was a boring post re: soup. Not all of my posts revolve around making soup.....

The point is, I tried to prevent her from seeing my posts but she carried on.

OP posts:
MamaLovesMango · 10/11/2018 12:57

Why would you be friends with someone on Facebook if you don’t want them to see what your posting and/or interact with you?

I’m wondering if I’ve got the point of Facebook terribly wrong over the last decade....

MamaLovesMango · 10/11/2018 12:57

*you’re obvs. My grammar etiquette has left the building.

Tropicana1 · 10/11/2018 12:59

Seems a bit strange as others have said that you're annoyed at her for trying to seemingly have some common ground with you on the basis of what you post of Facebook for all to see?!
Myself and my work colleagues regularly discuss what we've seen each other do over the weekend on facebook. That is basically the sole purpose of facebook.

Give the poor woman a break, you sound rather mean.

AbitComplex · 10/11/2018 13:00

She makes a point of commenting to my face when she sees me next @Howhot, not on FB. I put that in my original post.

So, say on a Friday, I post about boring soup. On the Monday, she makes a comment about it. To my face. So yes it’s a boring post, so if it’s such a boring post, why wait all weekend to make a point of commenting on it on Monday?

OP posts:
Tropicana1 · 10/11/2018 13:00

*on Facebook

VerbeenaBeeks · 10/11/2018 13:00

So you post about your soup, somebody tells you they saw your soup and made some themselves which was delicious?

You - "stop looking at my soup!"

Grin

Sorry, but that's what FB is FOR. You're meant to interact, lol.
I'd be more put out at the ones that don't notice or comment on my lovely soup and just lurk instead Grin

Chathamhouserules · 10/11/2018 13:01

I felt uncomfortable having what I posted on FB scrutinised. why put it on there then? You don't need to. Doesn't sound like anyone would lose out from not knowing you made some soup or went for a short walk.
I've set up a family group so the small number of people who might (probably aren't! ) interested in things I do can see these type of posts.

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