Defriended a colleague from FB. Wondering if I should tell her or see if she notices.

[AbitComplex]

My colleague and I became FB friends when I started working in the dept, along with other colleagues.

It was all nice in the beginning, until she started to comment on things I put on FB, so I decided to make her an acquaintance and change my posts to friends except acquaintances. Thinking she would stop, but she has carried on.

I’m not sure if she can somehow still see my posts through comments from other people, or can’t see them and goes into my account to see what I’ve written, but she still goes out of her way to comment when she sees me next.

So a (boring) example is, I posted about some soup I’d made, joking along the lines that “it was tasty, even though I say so myself” followed by laughing emoticon.

The next time I saw her, she commented “oooh, I made some soup the other day, but mine had white wine in it though, it was sooooooo delicious “.

Right , okay. Could have been a coincidence that it was the same flavour....

Not long after, a friend and I decided to complete a four mile walk. We both completed it, and it went on FB. Well, my colleague somehow miraculously walked five miles that very same week....with a dodgy hip and knee..
And many more..

I just smile and nod slowly when she says these things, maybe I should have cocked my head to one side Mumsnet style, but never mind.

Anyway I got fed up and defriended her. I feel better already, but if she’s been checking my posts, she’s going to notice anyway, so should I be upfront and tell her, or not tell her and have some fun with this?

So as not to dripfeed, she is quite a rude and entitled person, and has been getting on all of our nerves lately, that plus the comments have now driven me to defriend her.

I felt uncomfortable having what I posted on FB scrutinised

Um..... don't post on there, then?
You can hardly blame people for commenting on or mentioning in RL something that you're happy to share.
For the record, I'm a FB oversharer and I like people commenting on my stuff either online or in RL.
Now wondering how many people I've inadvertently pissed off by saying their Sunday lunch or breakfast or whatever looked good.

I do sometimes say 'oh I saw on fb that you did such and such'
Is that bad form? Are we supposed to pretend we don't know?
Or are you annoyed she can walk further than you? And makes different recipe soup?

Why post if you don't want people to see or comment?

Receiving end of what though? And why do you want her to be pissed off with you? I can sort of see she might be being vaguely annoying and if your question was how to block without causing offence I might understand it more

Please post that you are going bog snorkelling or practicing for your naked river swim or your new brussel sprout diet and report back to us.

So much fun to be had!

It’s all very Mean Girls.

Although thank you OP for this:
‘So, say on a Friday, I post about boring soup. On the Monday, she makes a comment about it. To my face’
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
weirdo

Sorry OP but this whole thing is rather batshit. From your side.

@Etino 😂😂😂 that made me laugh
THE HORROR 😱

Is it always a one upmanship with her? If so that would annoy me.

Are you worried her soup might have been better than yours? 😯

I get what you're saying OP. It does sound odd. Like she's mirroring everything you do but making it 'better'. If that happened a couple of times it's coincidence or flattering, but every time is a bit stalky tbh.

This is seriously one of the weirdest posts I've seen on here. Nothing this woman has said or done seems even mildly offensive. Posting stuff on Facebook is something most people do specifically to attract comments. Also you seem to be implying she might be hacking your account in some way to keep seeing your posts. Unless there's a massive backstory explaining why you hate her for some offline reason it might be time to take off the tinfoil hat, delete Facebook, and find something more interesting to do than make boring soup so you don't feel the need to create drama over nothing!

@Tropicana1. Ok, so if I was colleague just for a moment and I wanted some common ground with AbitComplex and soup, I wouldnt take her post and walk all over it, I’d probably say something along the lines of, “ oh, that soup looked nice, why don’t we swap recipes”, you know, that kind of thing. I’m sure AbitComplex would be thrilled to share recipes with her.

Give the poor woman a break?
She is very rude and entitled person.

In the original post I said that, but if I have to elaborate, she has been doing the following:

Talking over people
Interrupting people
Barging into rooms without knocking, even though she is aware there is a patient and a colleague already in the room. Her job appears to be more important than everybody else’s.
Recently appointed colleague who ended up crying in managers room because of bad attitude.

Wow

I think I get it - you post on FB but she comments to you in person a day or two later in a rather snide one-upmanship sort of way. I can imagine it would be wearing. I wouldn't mention it unless she does and then say that you prefer not to have colleagues as FB friends.

I'd hate that too OP. This is why not to have colleagues on Facebook unless they're without question a friend as well as a colleague. Also, who tries to find common ground with someone over the fact you both make soup? It's like making toast or tea.

All sounds very silly indeed. Why have colleagues on facebook, you see them anyway?

Makes me feel glad I've never opened a FB account.

Talking over people Interrupting people Barging into rooms without knocking, even though she is aware there is a patient and a colleague already in the room. Her job appears to be more important than everybody else’s.Recently appointed colleague who ended up crying in managers room because of bad attitude

Yeah, that's just listing reasons you don't like her and nothing to do with the fact she's commenting on your FB stuff.
Which is a perfectly normal thing to do - talk about stuff you put out there.

I would have had much more fun with it. E.g. "Just booked my holiday for next Summer - off to Elevenerife" ...

Sorry pressed post too early. All of those things are really annoying OP, I think just delete and forget about her on your FB shes mor annoying in real life from sounds of it. I made a decent not to have anyone from work on my FB after a colleague started commenting on how drunk I appeared in photos from weekend which obviously is not great being shouted across the office.

It was all nice in the beginning, until she started to comment on things I put on FB,

Are you the queen or something? Do people need a royal summons to comment on your FB posts?

You don't say who friended who. But even if she sent you the request, you then had to accept it.

It wouldn't occur to me not to comment on the page of someone I know and am 'friends' with on FB.

Barging into rooms without knocking, even though she is aware there is a patient and a colleague already in the room.

Grr - this happened to me (as a patient) several times when I was in a consulting room with a specialist and nurse. Other nurses came in three times (they did knock though) to ask the nurse something. I was talking about something quite personal and found it really intrusive. In the end the specialist lost patience on my behalf, expressed his annoyance and locked the door - good!

(Sorry - got carried away).

OP when you say your colleagues "comments" (in this one-up-man-ship way) do you mean she adds a Facebook comment to your post, or do you mean she makes these comments verbally to you in the office? The latter seems worse than the former.

Jaw droppping