Defriended a colleague from FB. Wondering if I should tell her or see if she notices.

[AbitComplex]

My colleague and I became FB friends when I started working in the dept, along with other colleagues.

It was all nice in the beginning, until she started to comment on things I put on FB, so I decided to make her an acquaintance and change my posts to friends except acquaintances. Thinking she would stop, but she has carried on.

I’m not sure if she can somehow still see my posts through comments from other people, or can’t see them and goes into my account to see what I’ve written, but she still goes out of her way to comment when she sees me next.

So a (boring) example is, I posted about some soup I’d made, joking along the lines that “it was tasty, even though I say so myself” followed by laughing emoticon.

The next time I saw her, she commented “oooh, I made some soup the other day, but mine had white wine in it though, it was sooooooo delicious “.

Right , okay. Could have been a coincidence that it was the same flavour....

Not long after, a friend and I decided to complete a four mile walk. We both completed it, and it went on FB. Well, my colleague somehow miraculously walked five miles that very same week....with a dodgy hip and knee..
And many more..

I just smile and nod slowly when she says these things, maybe I should have cocked my head to one side Mumsnet style, but never mind.

Anyway I got fed up and defriended her. I feel better already, but if she’s been checking my posts, she’s going to notice anyway, so should I be upfront and tell her, or not tell her and have some fun with this?

So as not to dripfeed, she is quite a rude and entitled person, and has been getting on all of our nerves lately, that plus the comments have now driven me to defriend her.

If she finds it inane/unimpressive, why bother going through my stuff (which I’d tried to hide from her) just to comment??

I felt uncomfortable having what I posted on FB scrutinised.

Right...

Your choice of language is odd. Saying she's stamping all over it and scrutinising? When she's just commenting. You're way way too concerned about comments on FB.

I don’t think you had hidden it properly OP as if you had done it correctly she couldn’t have seen your posts no matter how much searching she did. Much more likely that your posts just appeared in her newsfeed

I mean, ok, so if one of my friends posts about cleaning the en suite loo and I think that’s boring, I wouldn’t take great pains to say ”well, I cleaned my en-suite loo and bathed the neighbours cat at the same time”.

I’d just ignore the post.
Why take great pains to undermine somebody?

@Tetrapanex, On the friends list, I changed her from friends to acquaintances, then in privacy settings, the bit where it says “who can see my future posts”, on there I changed to friends except acquaintances, made sure the red acquaintances symbol was next to her name.
On the posts themselves, it had the same thing..
Was there anything else I missed, I thought I had it covered..

Isn't that what FB is all about? People making comments/dramas/banal statements on FB posts.
Maybe you're inspiring her?

@AbitComplex ah I see how you meant it now - it read a bit differently (therein lies the problem with online vs real life conversation!)

I can see how if it I had a really good friend of mine acting like she is constantly trying to put you down by putting herself up it might get you down - but i have to say unless she is a great friend (which it doesn't sound like she is) then perhaps you are taking it a little too personally? Unfriend her, don't like her, ignore her beyond the cursory "hello", ignore the remarks that bother you. If she is just an acquaintance, even if she is guilty of one-upmanship, is there a reason that it gets so you so much?

@primoestate, inspiring her? What, about making soup and walking, even I think it’s boring 😂😂.

It has been said though, that FB is an online diary...
I’d love to be able to dig out my old school diary...

That sounds like the correct settings to me. But if set up correctly she wouldn’t be able to see your posts at all. Even on your page or if other people she is friends with have ted. They would just not be visible to her.

*commented not ted

@teaandtoast I love the elevenerife explanation

I can't cope with crap this this. Not from your friend op but from you. You sound like a teenager.

She is not my friend, she is a colleague.

So, @ShreddedBanksy a rude and entitled person who tries to walk over everyone at work and makes co workers cry...leave her alone ffs

So, somebody rude and entitled that walks over everybody and makes co workers cry is to be left alone! To do what?? Carry on ??

In the name of.heavens. people defriend people every day for a multitude of reasons - thankfully without all this blooming drama

So, somebody rude and entitled that walks over everybody and makes co workers cry is to be left alone! To do what?? Carry on ??

So why were you ever FB friends with her?

@Littlechocola - yes, it's great, isn't it? Someone else posted it on here a while ago. Just sums up that oneupmanship you get.

I felt uncomfortable having what I posted on FB scrutinised.

I'm not sure you understand how the internet works...

Are you all 12? This whole situation sounds like something that goes on in secondary school.

Just defriend her. If she ever mentions it you tell her it's because she's rude. Then walk away quickly! It's easy!

I dont understand why she feels the need to comment on what I post about
I find that come t a bit weird. FB is a form of communication and once you put information out there it's fair game to talk about.
It happens ever day in my wirk place.
E.g. The manager put a photo if him completing his first marathon so next day everyone congratulated him and chatted about it.
I put some phitos if my trip to Chester and a few days later people asked if I had a nice time and what did I do. That's normal.
Her doing the top trumps with you us a bit weird though.

You think she walked 15 minutes longer than you because she wanted to get one up on your Facebook post?

Please tell her why you blocked her, if she gets half the laugh I've had reading this thread, you'll have made her day.