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Defriended a colleague from FB. Wondering if I should tell her or see if she notices.

173 replies

AbitComplex · 10/11/2018 12:22

My colleague and I became FB friends when I started working in the dept, along with other colleagues.

It was all nice in the beginning, until she started to comment on things I put on FB, so I decided to make her an acquaintance and change my posts to friends except acquaintances. Thinking she would stop, but she has carried on.

I’m not sure if she can somehow still see my posts through comments from other people, or can’t see them and goes into my account to see what I’ve written, but she still goes out of her way to comment when she sees me next.

So a (boring) example is, I posted about some soup I’d made, joking along the lines that “it was tasty, even though I say so myself” followed by laughing emoticon.

The next time I saw her, she commented “oooh, I made some soup the other day, but mine had white wine in it though, it was sooooooo delicious “.

Right , okay. Could have been a coincidence that it was the same flavour....

Not long after, a friend and I decided to complete a four mile walk. We both completed it, and it went on FB. Well, my colleague somehow miraculously walked five miles that very same week....with a dodgy hip and knee..
And many more..

I just smile and nod slowly when she says these things, maybe I should have cocked my head to one side Mumsnet style, but never mind.

Anyway I got fed up and defriended her. I feel better already, but if she’s been checking my posts, she’s going to notice anyway, so should I be upfront and tell her, or not tell her and have some fun with this?

So as not to dripfeed, she is quite a rude and entitled person, and has been getting on all of our nerves lately, that plus the comments have now driven me to defriend her.

OP posts:
VerbeenaBeeks · 10/11/2018 13:38

A colleague posted a photo of his new puppy on Facebook. I commented on Facebook and to his face that it was cute. Have I done an awful thing? Should I apologise?

You're blatantly after his dawg. Stop looking at the dog. weirdo
Grin

MamaLovesMango · 10/11/2018 13:38

A colleague posted a photo of his new puppy on Facebook. I commented on Facebook and to his face that it was cute. Have I done an awful thing? Should I apologise?

I hope he logged it with 101.

happypoobum · 10/11/2018 13:38

What Tetrapanex said.

MemoryOfSleep · 10/11/2018 13:39

You do come off as very mean, tbh. With this talk of wanting her to feel annoyed and teaching a lesson and stuff. Sounds like schoolyard politics. Just block and rise above.

purplemunkey · 10/11/2018 13:41

Yeah, you're the weird one in this story OP.

Why friend her on FB in the first place if you didn't like her? And if you didn't know her well enough to know whether you liked her or not, again... why friend her?

All so odd. I generally don't friend work colleagues on FB for fear of this sort of nonsene. Who needs this shit?

Littlechocola · 10/11/2018 13:43

I will apologise. Bit confused over whether to apologise in RL or Facebook though?

Teasndtoast I get that but I don’t get the drama?

NerrSnerr · 10/11/2018 13:44

This thread has made me laugh. How dare she comment on something you put on FB? Reminds me of my MIL who will text us to tell us she likes a photo we've posted- if only there was a way she could articulate that on FB itself....

Littlechocola · 10/11/2018 13:44

@VerbeenaBeeks if I could get away with it I actually would be Grin

Redglitter · 10/11/2018 13:47

I felt uncomfortable having what I posted on FB scrutinised

It sounds like FB really isn't for you. You sound as if you're quite spectacularly missing the point of posting on it

Aworldofmyown · 10/11/2018 13:48

I think you need to get over yourself a bit Confused

AbitComplex · 10/11/2018 13:52

Well, why would she put me down if she’s desperately trying to make conversation with me? I’d much prefer it if she would make conversation.

OP posts:
Waitingonasmiley42 · 10/11/2018 13:52

This is one of the most pathetic things I've ever read. 

Please tell me you are a teenager? I definitely remember being this prickly when I was a teenager...maybe early twenties.

Foreverexhausted · 10/11/2018 13:54

You sound as bad as each other. Why do you feel the need or want to post about having made soup on fb in the first place? Those kind of updates will have your friends rolling their eyes so maybe you should appreciate her appreciating your updates.

bimbobaggins · 10/11/2018 13:55

I can just see the daily mail headline now

Woman posts soup on Facebook and someone had the audacity to comment on it

ButchyRestingFace · 10/11/2018 13:55

Though seeing as her soup had white wine in it, it probably was.....😂😂😂😂.

I reckon I'd be flavouring everything with gin if I worked in your office.

MirriVan · 10/11/2018 13:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SpecialLittlePrince · 10/11/2018 13:56

When has she put you down?

AbitComplex · 10/11/2018 13:56

I think I’ll rename this post soupgate.
And delete FB altogether.

OP posts:
VerbeenaBeeks · 10/11/2018 13:57

Why do you feel the need or want to post about having made soup on fb in the first place?

Because sometimes when you make soup, you need to let everybody know that you've made soup! duh Grin
I say this as someone who loves to post a good dinner or soup every now and again lol.
That's what FB's for - mundane bowls of soup and things you've been doing so nosey so and so's like myself can nosey at the soup Grin

headinhands · 10/11/2018 13:59

I'm more confused by your reaction to it? Is your life so empty that this is even an issue?

Ellapaella · 10/11/2018 14:00

Soup or no soup you find her annoying so just block her.
Or review your privacy settings as you can definitely stop certain friends seeing your posts and anything you're tagged in.

MamaLovesMango · 10/11/2018 14:00

Sounds like that would be for the best OP. The deleting FB bit I mean. Don’t rename this post ‘Soupgate’ there’s nothing ‘gate’ about it.

teaandtoast · 10/11/2018 14:02

Litlechocola - say the op goes to Tenerife regularly. Every time she goes (and posts about it), the colleague comes on to say she's been to Elevenerife, where everything's bigger, brigter and better. Every time. It'd get a bit wearing, no?

I made soup. It was tasty
I made soup with white wine. It was delicious!

I did a 4 mile walk.
I did a 5 mile walk with a bad knee and wonky hip!

The subtext is that the colleague is better than the op.

Every time.

headinhands · 10/11/2018 14:03

I dont understand why she feels the need to comment on what I post about.

Isn't that how Facebook works?

TechnicalSergeantGarp · 10/11/2018 14:05

I see where you are coming from. I think you're colleague will notice and say something so I'd just prepare for that. She's sounds like a pita but I'm not sure I'd go over to confront her.

Not everyone wants to use fb the same way and that's fine.

I have a friend that shares every post I make, it's very weird of them. I unfriended and blocked an aunt because she was constantly getting hacked and I didn't like her posts. I want to be friendly in real life but I just cba dealing with her on FB.

In my office there is a real pressure to add everyone on FB and I don't want to, so I don't. I had people saying they are "seriously unhappy" that i've ignored their friend request so I try to stay under the radar.

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