Absolutely mortified!!

[Revengers18]

I'm at parents evening and after finishing with one of the teachers I accidentally awkwardly hugged her... She opened one arm out, I put my hand out and we ended up doing a half handshake and half hug like rappers do, omg it was so awkward...

Anyone else accidentally done something mortifying, please relay me with teacher stories so I don't feel as embarrassed...

BTW, it was the first time I'd met her too...

Absolutely embarrassing! Now waiting to see another teacher, hopefully will not make the same mistake...

I was in a 7-seater taxi with the sliding door, last one dropped off after a night out with friends and in my pissed state I couldn't open the door. I'd already paid the driver and said our goodbyes and I just kept flapping at the door. Eventually he got out and opened the door for me, holding a hand out to help me down the step. I hugged him and kissed him on the cheek, I still die a little when I think of it.

Just remembered another one

Years ago, in a job interview - for an agency job - I was being given directions to where the job was -didn't have a car, was going by bike ...
So there I am, trying to be all clever (and use what seemed like super intelligent words in my head ) I asked about the job's location : Is it easily notifiable?
There was a pause. A silence that seemed to last for a good minute while me and the interviewer where both trying to pretend that what i'd just said made any kind of sense..

I didn't even try and backtrack and use the right word- which I'm guessing would be something like noticeable. But even I'm not sure anymore!
I went to the job. It was horrible.

Went to see GP with possible lump in breast. He asked usual question what he could do for me and I just said 'I've found a lump' and whilst sat in front of him started to unbutton my blouse very quickly' He turned his head aside and put his had up to stop me and said.' let's get a history first shall we'.

Still mortified.

At my Year 11 leavers' assembly I won an award. Upon receiving it, the teacher inexplicably went to kiss me on the cheek. I turned the wrong way and he planted a smacker right on my lips.

Mortified, as I was on the stage in front of the whole year, my body's natural response was to get out of sight as soon as I could. So I sat down.

Had to pick myself up and slope off down the stage steps to the sound of the entire year pissing themselves laughing.

I also announced to a group of fellow teachers "look! A nee naw!" while on our way into a training venue. No children were present.

Did it with a director at work during a conversation. She was gesturing towards me as she got closer as if she were going to hug me but was really sort of herding me.

To this day I feel really awkward and don't like talking to her as i still feel mortified!

A couple of weeks ago

Myself, partner and his brother was standing talking to a doctor about something serious.

I stroked my brother in laws chest thinking it was my partner....
Why? How?
He didnt say anything.
Partner didnt notice. When i told him later he thought it was funny.

I dont think bil told his wife as she didnt say anything and she hates me :)

I read the OP an hour ago and I'm still laughing.

A few years ago when our eldest was just a baby, we went away as a family of 3 to a hotel in Greece. We're not sociable people so don't make friends on holiday or anything, but priced lots of other people from our flight/coach did. One day we were coming out our apartment carrying the buggy up some steps and a bloke looked at use and said "are you two leaving tomorrow?" and I replied "no the next day". He gave me a right mucky look and said "I was talking to them, love" and I noticed two people behind us on the steps. DH asked why the hell I thought he was talking to me when we'd never clapped eyes on him before 😳

Myself and DH had to get shots done in Dr's. We went one at a time, me first.I had decided bum would hurt less so just edged my trousers down when Dr was about to do shot. That was fine, no problem.
When DH went in Dr. asked where he'd prefer shot. He asked Dr. what I'd decided and Dr said I'd whipped my pants (he's american) down without even asking. To which my husband replied "she was always the same"
He said after he meant me deciding things without asking anyone's opinion!
I did wonder why the Dr was grinning at me when we left.

@grumpalopies I can't stop crying at your Thumb shake! Amazing Thread!

Reading this in bed and I've just laughed so loudly, s funny op.

All time winner, I think, was a faux-pas made by my dad’s closest friend and colleague. She was meeting a prospective employer for lunch and had never met the person before. Trying to ease her own nerves, she started off with “you know, it’s so funny, the angle from which I entered the restaurant, it looked like you only had one arm! Haha!”

Awkward silence. Prospective employer: “I DO only have one arm. I had to have one amputated as a child”.

Hee hee hee hee hee hee.

My department at work ends all of our emails with kisses, plus often emojis or gifs. Have to be very careful not to send Beyoncé gifs or kisses to people outside our small team

I was interviewing for an important post. A very nervous lady came in, came up to the desk, I stood up to shake her hand and she reached across only for us both to spot at the same time the packet of sanitary paper bags stuck on on of her buttons! It sort of flapped onto the desk. she must’ve been to the staff loos whilst waiting for her appointment time, put her Jacket on the door hook and got them caught up. She was mortified, I have never seen anyone go so red. Fortunately I really liked her as a candidate and told her a few mortificado moments of my own. Settled her nerves and I gave her the job.

Was emailing bf at work and changed the auto signature to "Love you heaps, xxx". Later emailed financial report to MD. MD replied thanking me for the analysis and a btw you might want to check your auto signature. Very PC company. Was mortified - thought I might make matters worse if I tried to explain so in the end didn't say anything and just avoided him in the corridors.

When I was job hunting, I walked into the room before the interviewer and went and sat in his chair behind the desk. Was really awkward when he asked me to move out of his chair - didn't get the job.

At a work event I went up to a man I thought I had just met 20 minutes ago and said, 'Hey, you've changed!'
He looked at me coldly. 'No, what? '
As I gradually die inside realising he's a different man I've never met. 'Weren't you wearing red just now..?' He walked away thinking I'm an IMBECILE.
I'm so mortified, I have no idea why I did that. I've not even told my DH.

A week or so ago in bible study I was really ill and beginning to hallucinate due to lack of oxygen (asthmatic and I was okish before I left the house) I announced in the middle of unpacking Romans 2 that I would kill so many humans to save a dog, when questioned apparently I told my friend and group leader Alfie that I was driving and while I'd rather the dogs didn't run into the road I would definitely crash the car or cause a pile up if it means avoiding hitting them. I can't drive and thanks to that vision I think I'll put off learning awhile longer. I then announced if I must die I shall go by lions or I wont go at all .

These are hysterical.

I love the PP who was pretending to be asleep in the Co-Op!

Similar to a PP's over-eagerness to have her breast lump examined, I was due for my pap smear so turned up to the doctor's office, said I'm here for the smear and proceeded to unbutton my trousers etc and headed straight for the exam table. Apparently they do need to confirm some details first

I also regularly feel flustered when meeting new people, and so far have held out the wrong hand for a handshake, resulting in an awkward dance of left and right hands going in and out, ad infinitum. I have also bowed at someone when they went to shake my hand.

I frequently say the wrong thing in social settings too. I said "I'm fine thanks, and how are you?" when someone hadn't even spoken to me! What the hell is wrong with me, I just don't know, but I'm definitely more than a tad socially awkward

My OH (male) did this to a female colleague, went in for a kiss on the cheek greeting, can't remember the exact circumstances but for some reason I was there, I think we were on a train platform. It was so awkward, I called him the slaezy consultant afterwards. (he is not normally at all sleazy).

(this is not a school one btw)

I was approaching a zebra crossing and the lights were just about to go green, so I thought I could get to the other side (in my 3 inch stiletto heels) if I made a quick dash. (you know that kind of fast walk, almost a jog kind of movement, but still trying to look as lady like as possible).

Well, just before I get to the other side, theres this water drainage vent thing, and my whole heel has gone right down inside (whilst mid-jog) and I've almost done the splits because of the leg that was left behind. I've then had to back myself up, using my free leg, to level up with the stuck leg (holding the traffic up- because now the lights have changed and all the drivers are watching and waiting for me to move out of the way). then undo the shoe itself, so i could remove my foot. I then quickly tried to pull the shoe out, and it would not budge. At this point, I have given up trying to be lady-like, and am now on my hands and knees and pulling with brute force to get this damn shoe out of this drain.

By now people are staring, traffic is now trying to drive round me, and I was actually debating wether or not to just leave the shoe there, when out of nowhere this young guy just comes over and offers his help (now I just want the road to swallow me up) - people walking by have actually stopped in their tracks to see what all the palava is about, and once my shoe is finally freed, people start cheering (omg so embarrassing).

The final bit of humiliation was then having to casually walk off down the road barefoot, shoes in hand, all the way back to the car park, so I could go home and die of embarrassment!!

@Nerdybeethoven I just tried and failed to read yours to dh but couldn't get to the end without creasing up. 😂

Oh god I remember another. I had recurrent urine infections early in my first pregnancy so had a scan. Arrived at hospital was told to undress and put on that robe with a slit in the back. A few weeks later it’s our 12 week scan. Dh and I arrive I was very “done this before” stripped off and put the robe on. Didn’t dawn on me that none of the other pregnant women were in a robe just their normal clothes. When we got in the scanner said “why are you in a surgical robe” and I brazened it out and said I just preferred to wear it. She was mortifying. Dh too polite to laugh but know he was inside felt like Bridget Jones !

I flashed the cleaners. They turned up early, I thought I heard something and was trying to creep out the shower to get the towel hanging on the bannister. They obviously thought someone was in too so were slowly walking up the stairs. Full frontal flash. Fuck.

This thread has made my night! When I was a kid, a Dad of a girl in my class walked up behind the headmistress on open day and tapped her on the shoulder to get her attention. For some reason only known to her, she turned around thinking it was her husband tapping her on the shoulder and kissed him square on the lips. I was only seven and I still remember the looks of horror on both their faces as their lips made contact! To make it worse for her, the whole school watched on in great amusement and his wife was standing right next to them looking hugely unimpressed