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Original poster

Absolutely mortified!!

257 replies

Revengers18 · 06/11/2018 19:43

I'm at parents evening and after finishing with one of the teachers I accidentally awkwardly hugged her... She opened one arm out, I put my hand out and we ended up doing a half handshake and half hug like rappers do, omg it was so awkward...

Anyone else accidentally done something mortifying, please relay me with teacher stories so I don't feel as embarrassed...

BTW, it was the first time I'd met her too...

Absolutely embarrassing! Now waiting to see another teacher, hopefully will not make the same mistake...

OP posts:
tccat · 08/11/2018 19:17

My boss came through the door, it had been raining and he said ",I'm so wet "
To this day I have no idea why I said it, but I said "me too"
He shook his head at me while I died quietly in the corner

MerryInthechelseahotel · 09/11/2018 00:02

This is such a funny thread! But no one has mentioned kissing the optician by mistake as they hover over you in the dark 😂 or is that just me 😊

CarolsSecretCookieRecipe · 09/11/2018 00:04

Glad I came back to read more, great thread Grin

Your interview stories @mumthedogsbeensick & @youknowyourself !!

And @tccat "me too" - Oh my God! Grin Grin

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

General education
MerryInthechelseahotel · 09/11/2018 00:09

My dd aged 16 was picked up at the station by a nun to go to do her DofE residential week in a nursing home. The nun was from Holland. She had quite an accent. She said "it's good we all have the same heavenly weather" but dd thought she said "it's good we all have the same Heavenly Father" and dd doesn't believe in God so kind of stuttered "oh I don't really believe in god" she then realised she was talking about the weather

ClemDanFango · 09/11/2018 00:09

I finished a phone call to my son’s Head of year by saying “ok great love you.” 😳 was meant to say “ok great lovely.”!!!
I heard her make an awkward little noise and just half screeched bye! and put the phone down. I wanted the ground to swallow me up. 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

NameChangeToAvoidBeingFound · 09/11/2018 03:19

RadioDorothy Dying at the pulling him in for a kiss thing. It sounds odd but I've had that urge come from nowhere before but luckily I've always managed to stop it from happening.

Once when my friend and I were out I was chewing on a piece of chewing gum. She sees and puts her hand out saying can I have a piece. I then looked at her hand for at least ten seconds and as shes saying I don't want the one from your mouth (she knows how my brain works and what knee jerk reactions are going to happen before they do) I'm already spitting it into her hand.

I knew she didn't want it, that I shouldn't spit it onto her hand and I wanted to smack myself in the head for the stupidity the moment it happened. Luckily she thought it was funny and fairly typical of me when I've not processed something properly so she just chucked it while I got us both new pieces.

Yoyooyo · 09/11/2018 07:02

I recently had a baby so been to baby groups and been making friends. I then bumped into one of the mums when walking my dog and as we said bye instead of saying see ya like a normal person I shouted Cccccccceeeee as I walked away. Blush my partner just pretend it wasn't happening and didn't talk about it on the rest of the walk so must have been bad hahaaaa

QuilliamCakespeare · 09/11/2018 07:52

@soupforbrains yours is my favourite so far. I'm crying!!

octoberfarm · 09/11/2018 10:14

Thought of another, and this one still makes me die inside 6 years later.

I'd recently moved to the US for grad school, and was achingly shy/aware of everyone hearing my accent and so generally spent a lot of time trying to avoid drawing any attention to myself.

Anyway, I went to the local grocery store one day determined to find some salad I'd bought there previously - a sort of salad mix - but couldn't for the life of me see it anywhere. One of the lovely people working there came up to me asking if I needed help and I don't for the life of me know why but in trying to convey that my issue finding the salad was likely because I have terrible eyesight (which I genuinely do), I told the woman I was "literally blind" and so couldn't find the thing I was looking for.

Of course I didn't mean literally blind but by the time I realized that she thought I did, she'd already linked arms with me, given me a whole pep talk about how I needn't worry and she could help however I needed, and I just...panicked. So rather than just telling the woman I wasn't actually blind, I sort of half heartedly went along with it (I know, I know, I'm the absolute worst) hoping she'd leave me alone and I could just run away and never came back. Instead. she insisted on going round the entire store with me helping me find things (as I mentally reduced my shopping list from about thirty items to three) before helping me check out.

To make the whole situation even worse, it was only as I was checking out that I remembered I was parked right in front of the store, and so after that I had to do the walk of shame to my car, and then watch her watch me, face a picture of complete confusion/horror, as I climbed into my car and drove away, clearly not blind at all  Ughhhh.

MarshaBradyo · 09/11/2018 10:23

October Grin

MarshaBradyo · 09/11/2018 10:24

Mop and tie also v funny

JovialNickname · 09/11/2018 10:55

October that is brilliant Grin

When I was in the theatre the other day, someone squeezed past me and stood really hard on my foot. Being rather awkward and British, I said "sorry". Except I didn't, I said "thank you".

leeloo1 · 09/11/2018 11:38

😂 October that's great! Really you should have walked past your car and skulked round the corner for a while, before sneaking back for it!

easterholidays · 09/11/2018 11:40

I've done the walking out of a room and straight into a cupboard thing, only it was at a meeting of all the senior management of our company which I'd been asked to present at. I thought I'd sort of gotten away with it at the time ("Oops! Silly me, that's not the way out!") but they did make me redundant not too long afterwards Grin

leeloo1 · 09/11/2018 11:55

Oh and (one of many I'm sure) embarrassing moments was as I was leaving my grandma's funeral. There was a cousin there who I hadn't seen for years, as he'd fallen out and gone non-contact with his dm, so hadn't been at family gatherings where we'd have crossed paths. There had been quite a lot of drama about if he'd attend etc, so when I saw this cousin it was already quite awkward and I wanted to help. He had recently got married though, so of course, with a beaming smile I rush up to him and said in a cheery voice "hey! Congratulations!", he gave me a look of bemused horror and said "Congratulations to you too!" in the manner that you would take to humour a slightly insane person... as I then stuttered out about meaning for his getting married, not our grandma dying...

... Yeah, I'm sure he's probably relieved he doesn't see the family so much!

Oh and (after no further contact) a few years later we both had our first children at few weeks apart. He very sweetly sent a card saying that he and his wife had also had a little boy so could empathise on what a roller coaster it was etc. I replied with a similar card/sentiments (I thought) and included my email address, saying do get in touch... And never heard from him again! So whatever I said must have confirmed to him that he really didn't want to be in contact with me. BlushSad

Flooffloof · 09/11/2018 12:23

Ooh optician one I had forgotten, I had a ladybird fly into my eye and had to get the eye swept out. Afterwards, really thorough, he did a full eye test. Towards the end (or maybe it was speeded up to get me out) he said look to the left, which I duly did, then look to the right, and my mind could not process this so I said nothing and stared ahead rigidly. Oh god why didn't one of us say something?

And a phone call one that makes me want to curl up and die.this is 20+ years ago
I worked in a petrol station rurally and one day lost the key to my hut, I was locked out.
So I walked up to the main building, called the previous customer (back when everyone knew everyone) left a garbled message about the hut key and did they have it.
Only then did I actually go look for the key, found it on the floor, called customer back, left another garbled message. Thinking I should try to make that better sounding I left yet another garbled message to try to explain the previous two. Only to be cut off by the machine half way through.
Oh Jesus, it was never ever spoken about but I suspect they are an old couple now who dine out on that story.

DoJo · 11/11/2018 12:02

@Nerdybeethoven My son just called me in to look at this, and it made me think of you...

Absolutely mortified!!
Nerdybeethoven · 11/11/2018 14:05

DoJo - that is absolutely brilliant. Thank you for sharing - it's really made me chuckle!!

Maelstrop · 11/11/2018 15:21

Parents' Evening and I stand to greet a French speaking parent and lean in for the kiss. Omg, the poor child with him was horrrified/fascinated. I was utterly shamed, but whenever I saw him afterwards, he was like my best friend!

Another Parents' Evening and I'd just been for a fag before starting, had a sweatshirt on as it was cold. I was trying to take off the sweatshirt before I got back in the gates, but all other layers came with it, so I'm tangled, unable to help myself. My colleague is wetting herself, several parents are waiting to go in. Horrifying.

Walked into the Staff room one day, 2 male colleagues are already in there. I go to say hello but come out with 'Hello boys' like I was in the fucking Wonder bra advert- popular at the time. Omg, the look they gave me was just cringe making!

Maelstrop · 11/11/2018 15:32

At a job interview in my early twenties I got up and thanked the panel of three and turned to leave the room. There were two doors, I picked the wrong one and ended up in the cleaning cupboard. Instead of being normal and closing the door and apologising I grabbed a mop and pretended to clean the floor before emitting a nervous giggle and leaving the room still clutching the mop. Unsurprisingly I didn't get the job!

I am pissing myself at this, it's hilarious! :D

Cocolepew · 11/11/2018 16:16

This whole thread is hilarious 😅
Mine is also a panic curtsy.
I was at funeral a couple of weeks ago and was introduced to the Minister. I shook his hand and curtsied. I tried to style it out by pretending I was bending to scratch my foot, but he knew.

In a cafe in Paris, the waiter comes over and says hello. DH confidently, and too bloody loudly, says, Au revoir (sp?) And waves Confused.

This is my worse one. I was being examined by a very good looking,
young gynae dr.
He was doing an internal scan and said, Oh your womb is massive".
I thanked him for some bizarre reason.
He then said It "wasn't a compliment."
I laughed due to embarrassment and a small fart squeaked out.

Bingisatwat · 11/11/2018 16:29

Coco thank you, you have cheered up a shit day! 😂

MarshaBradyo · 11/11/2018 16:38

Coco no words but 😂

GraceMarks · 11/11/2018 18:29

Cocolepew what an oddly inappropriate thing for the gynae to say anyway! I'm not sure what I might have come out with in those circumstances.

Bluntness100 · 11/11/2018 20:14

I'm not sure what I might have come out with in those circumstances

Bet you're hoping it wouldn't be a fart though 🤣

Coco you made me laugh thanks 😁😁😁