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Original poster

Absolutely mortified!!

257 replies

Revengers18 · 06/11/2018 19:43

I'm at parents evening and after finishing with one of the teachers I accidentally awkwardly hugged her... She opened one arm out, I put my hand out and we ended up doing a half handshake and half hug like rappers do, omg it was so awkward...

Anyone else accidentally done something mortifying, please relay me with teacher stories so I don't feel as embarrassed...

BTW, it was the first time I'd met her too...

Absolutely embarrassing! Now waiting to see another teacher, hopefully will not make the same mistake...

OP posts:
Slightlyjaded · 07/11/2018 21:11

Years ago I was introduced to DH's then boss. It was at a social event in the evening and I'd had a glass of wine. As I was shaking his hand, someone to my left told a joke or said something quite funny, so to be polite, I turned to them and laughed politely. They then continued with the theme of the joke and I chimed in with something else. We were getting on quite well and the 'joke' was going on with new and ever more ridiculous punchlines. Eventually, I gave DH's hand a squeeze and brushed the top of it with my thumb to indicate that I was fine, relaxed and everyone seemed nice. Except that of course I was still holding onto his boss' hand and had been for a good 90 seconds. He had been too polite to let go.

INstead of making a joke about it that might have saved me, I snatched my hand away saying "Yuk! Wrong Hand".

Why?
Why did I do that?
Why did I say that?

These questions will haunt me to the end.

conversationdiva · 07/11/2018 21:23

I’ve just remembered another one.

We had a very strict teacher in sixth form that none of us liked much. My friend won an award in her subject and had to go on stage to accept it. The strict teacher attempted to kiss her on the cheek but my friend misinterpreted it and turned her head, so they kissed each other full on the lips. In front of the whole school. Everyone was horrified and teased her about it for ages afterwards.

toomanysmallpeoplecallmemom · 07/11/2018 21:35

Picking up ds from a new activity and another mum making small talk asks me my sons name, I mistakenly tell her my other ds name then instead of just leaving it or even telling her I have more than one ds I said ' oh no I got that wrong he's not called David he's Oswald '

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LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 07/11/2018 21:51

There was another thread exactly like this aaaagggges ago and I remember that a poster (but can't remember her name) recounted the tale of how she actually managed to cup her boss's balls in her hand... ShockBlush... it was very funny Grin

I hope she sees this thread and pops on to tell us again how she did it. I can't remember the detail, was too busy laughing but both were mortified and I'm not sure if she fell into a dead faint once he'd moved his appendages off her hand...?

I'm personally loving the thumb-shake, the boob-squishes and, well pretty much all of them. We should have this thread often Grin

Dowser · 07/11/2018 21:54

I’ve bruised my rib, quite possible a hair line fracture and I’ve laughed so hard I’ve had to stop on Page three

I thought it was getting better

It isn’t!

NameChangeToAvoidBeingFound · 07/11/2018 21:56

I did once give security in the airport the wrong name. They had my passport and asked my name, instead of telling them my name and the name on the passport I told them something totally different and named my friend who I was traveling with. Luckily they thought it was funny and chalked it up to my autism Grin sometimes it has it's perks.

I caught a male friend looking down my top, which made him go purple, panic and start singing to me. I was completely bemused and horrified, we were in a crowded room with our friends who then got to watch what looked like him serenading me with disney songs for no reason (I apparently went tomato red) I know I was giggling out of embarrassment. Wouldn't be too bad (he can actually sing really well) but he's now taken to singing to me almost whenever we meet and now I can't hear some of my favourite disney songs without thinking of him. Much to the amusement of two of our other friends who came with me and him to my mothers for some unknown reason, he did it again. In the middle of dinner. We were talking about music and I mentioned that I like Queen and he decided that it was a great time to sing the entirety of Somebody to Love at me across the table in front of my mother. He was very pink and I could see the panic in his eyes because as he later confessed he had no idea why he started but once he had he had to commit to it Grin idiot.

W0rriedMum · 07/11/2018 21:59

I'm dying with laughter at some of these.

Essentially I spent several minutes apparently trying to proudly show new CEO my breasts.
Hilarious!!

Ohyesiam · 07/11/2018 21:59

Once called my sons year 5 male teacher darling. He is an odd man and I’d never felt that comfortable around him( fantastic teacher though) , after that it was bordering on painful.

Reaa · 07/11/2018 22:00

Loving some of these, need more Smile

grtduff10 · 07/11/2018 22:08

I'm a dog groomer and although I do love my fur babies, once when saying goodbye too the dog I gave her the useal kiss and cuddle and then said "bye love you baby". The woman looked at me very weird, I don't no where it came from. I'm assuming it's because I say it everyday to my daughter before school, it just came out. Now when she brings the dog in, it's like she asserts her self as the dogs owner and reminds me im not Ghana

Myusername101z · 07/11/2018 22:08

First time I met my partners best friend we both leaned in for a hug and cheek/air kiss and kissed on the mouth it makes me shudder with embarsment thinking about it

MiddlingMum · 07/11/2018 22:08

DH and I were on holiday recently and were waiting at a pedestrian crossing. I reached out and took his hand, giving it a friendly squeeze. Then realised the hand felt odd - it wasn't DH's, it was a complete stranger's. DH was slightly behind me and the stranger's wife was there too. Luckily we all found it hilarious.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 07/11/2018 22:09

Ouch Dowser Shock

Strap them up tight and carry on laughing, it's the only thing to do. Rib pain is awful. Hope you feel better soon.

April2020mom · 07/11/2018 22:31

Keep them coming. I needed a laugh today.

MsTSwift · 07/11/2018 22:32

In my twenties I moved cities and had a meeting where I used to live so caught up with my former flat mate. Her new boyfriend kindly gave me a lift to the station barely knew him. They were both quite “proper”. As I hopped out I gave him a peck on the cheek (why?!) which he wasn’t expecting and he moved his head so I kissed him on the lips! I cringed all the way home. Never heard from her again

skinnyamericano · 07/11/2018 22:37

These are hilarious 😂

DH and I were at a party over the school summer holidays one year. It was a very drunken affair. Late in the evening, while DH was outside and I was inside, he decided to ‘pull a moonie’ through a window which was kind of high up on the wall of the room I was in. He didn’t realise that I was chatting to one of our primary school teachers at the time.

When September came, he went to collect DD one afternoon, and to the teacher’s eternal credit, she made a beeline across the playground, shook DH’s hand and said, “how nice to see you with your clothes on, Mr Skinny”. I’ve never seen him so embarrassed!

MerryInthechelseahotel · 07/11/2018 22:39

I've said this on here before. I was a student nurse many many years ago and I was very shy. I was trying to make conversation with an elderly patient.

I said "I bet your mum wouldn't have called you Doris if she knew you would marry a man called Morris" and she just glared at me and said "I'm not married!" I was utterly mortified.

Athena51 · 07/11/2018 22:48

I met the actor Benedict Cumberbatch at a poetry reading he was doing a few years ago. He was kindly signing autographs and letting people take photos.

When it got to my turn I handed him my ticket and asked him to sign it and asked if it was okay if I took a photo. I got my phone out, dropped it, got all flustered. He (being a proper gent) bent down to pick it up at the same time as I did. I banged heads with him, grabbed my phone off him in a panic and backed away apologising frantically while he just looked at me with pity in his eyes.

I'm embarrassed just typing this and it was bloody years ago.

Nerdybeethoven · 07/11/2018 22:59

Such a lot of accidental kissing on the lips. Just shows that us Brits should not to be trusted to do anything more than just make vague eye-contact and grunt. Do - say - the French make such mistakes with the whole cheek-kissing business.

I hate it: one kiss or two. (or three?). Fraught with disaster and awkwardness.

(This is a very funny thread though ….)

NoisyBrain · 07/11/2018 23:02

Years ago I had a meeting with a supplier at work who happened to be very easy on the eye. As he left I shook his hand I meant to say "Nice to meet you" but all that came out was "Nice". Mortified.

My boss thought it was hilarious and brought it up regularly for at least 5 years after the incident.

Pigeonpresent · 07/11/2018 23:02

I worked in a nursery and had my bum pinched at a bar, turned round to see a very mortified, very sorry, very married dad of one of the kids. He blushed every time he had to pick his kid up after that.

Nerdybeethoven · 07/11/2018 23:05

Nearly 20 years ago I was working in a quirky organisation, as a PA to a very flighty MD who kept us all on our toes. My partner in crime was the chief accountant who was a lovely, mild-mannered, polite, chivalrous Nigerian guy.

We were having a conversation about a plan to keep flighty MD in order and I finished it with

'good thinking, Bat Man', meaning, I was Robin to his Bat Man.

Stunned silence. And then he replied 'ok white woman'.

It's only after I put the phone down I realised that he thought I'd said 'black man'.

OMG - if that happened now, I'd ring straight away and explain/apologise, but I was young and so, so, so embarrassed. Arrrgghhh. Massive cringe. Still feel awful about it now.

ireallyshouldbeinbedbynow · 07/11/2018 23:05

Love this thread Smile please keep it going !!!

When I was a student at university, I was talking to one of my german lecturers, and I accidentally spat on her while I was talking to her. She kept on talking, obviously trying to ignore it, but me being me- I had to point it out and I said, 'I'm sorry but I've just spat on your face '- and I even reached out my hand to try and wipe it off... my friend who was stood next to me was cracking up but I was deadly serious the whole time.

Dh's parents are french and on various occasions I have now somehow managed to kiss them both on the lips instead of the cheeks - think the problem is I try and get the cheek kissing out the way too quickly and it all goes wrong....

In Paris a few years ago (my french being a bit rubbish back then) a woman came up asking if I wanted to give blood - I confused the word blood (sang) with breast (sein) and shouted out - in English - Breast? at her. She looked terrified and took two steps backwards then sort of waved me away.......I kept walking....

EK36 · 07/11/2018 23:08

Haha these are making me laugh so hard...it hurts! Once while the bus was stopping to let me off, instead of saying, "thank you" I actually shouted, "love you". Longest 5 seconds in my life, waiting for those doors to open and let me off!

DohSillyMe · 07/11/2018 23:14

These are so funny 😂

Mine isn’t a teacher one but still makes me so scared of cheek kissing now...

At a very sad funeral for a lovely friend. Line up of mourners on exit to crematorium passing on condolences, shaking hands with family members etc but as I got to the newly widowed husband he went to give me a kiss on my cheek, I went to do the same but on his other cheek and we missed and kissed on the lips. So awkward and so inappropriate I still cringe when I think of it so so awful 😣😣😣