Oh for goodness sake. I have a crush on the builder

[Keyra]

I’m such a cliche - middle aged sahm crushing on the builder. I need strategies to look busy and keep out of the way.

Have you had any eye contact with him OP

I hope you’re back tomorrow with more updates op

“Plug his drill in”

My aunt married the guy that came to tile her kitchen, it could be the start of something lovely! 

Clothes maiden, OP!

OP does your dryer hang from the ceiling (pulley maiden or dolly) or stand on the floor (clothes maiden or clothes horse)? 🧐

I’ve been telling everyone for years I’ve got an iron maiden!

Have you mentioned your Iron Maiden to crushy builder? He's probably bloody terrified the poor fella! q

The clothes dryer is one of those ones on the ceiling with a pulley - so that, you know, my smalls ( and the dc’s) are displayed on high. I don’t think I’ve actually referred to it at all in front of the builders, I’ve just been pretending that it doesn’t exist.

I think there’s been very brief eye contact but it’s hard to tell - when I like someone, I find it hard to look them in the eye so I’ve mainly been looking at the bridge of his nose. God I’m crap at this. How I ever managed to get a Dh back in the day I don’t know!

Oh I had such a crush on my builder last year, when it was hot weather and he had his top off I used to find things to do in whichever room gave the best view for my ever so subtle glance blatant staring out of the window at him 

He had a partner and two DC so alas I could only crush from afar but it made the interminable building works more tolerable 

Good luck with yours OP!

BuckingFrolicks when you wrote "a mate with a deft hand" I thought you were about to suggest something else 😉

Heaven knows what my lovely windowcleaner thinks - he gets brownies and banana bread sometimes!

I will need some brickwork doing soon, there should be a review service for tradesmen with marked scores based on their shitting habits. Considerate shitting brickie would rightly get more work than Skidmark Steve, Floater Phil or Judy Stench.

I love this thread! Not placemarking to see what happens. Definitely not

Definitely offer him food. I used to bring my builder back something nice when I went to get lunch. (I mean like a bun or a mars bar before you all start ).
He eventually started buying me a sandwich when he went and that's how I knew I might be in with a shout!

Do you have an M&S near you? Buy some Yum Yums and eat one suggestively in front of him!

I’ll get my coat....

I am unhealthily invested in your crush, OP
I look forward to a Christmas engagement [santa]

This is all very sweet, op, but have you considered purchasing some cadbury chocolate fingers and using them to spell out flirty hints such as PHWOAR or I QUITE FANCY YOU or even, if you are feeling bold, FANCY A SHAG?.

You know, like swizzels love hearts but better.

@JoeElliotsMullet 😂

Brilliant

If that's the message a hobnob sends imagine what you could imply with a Tunnocks teacake...

Where’s our update op???

OMG secret builder biscuit language! Is this why when Dh’s roofer mate came round to clean at my gutter (ooo er Mrs) and I offered him a bowl of soup and a bacon roll he left never to be seen again? I’ve got a lose tile, could I tempt him back with a twix?

Morning followers! Not much of significance to report re crushy builder as I’ve have been—avoiding him— out all morning.

However - before I left I impressed myself with my cunning ploy to find out if he had dc. I was clearing out a cupboard last night and found some new games (crafty type ones) that I’d been keeping for presents and forgotten about. So I asked him this morning (when chatty gaffer was out of the way) if he could make use of any of them for his dc. And he said “I don’t have any but thanks for asking”. So - no dc at least. Now need to find out if he’s attached!

My mind is definitely on things it shouldn’t be. In a busy noisy cafe earlier with my friend. She went to buy us tea and cake and came back to ask me a question about what I wanted/liked. Twice she asked me the same question and I’m there like this > , going “What? What did you say?”

I could have sworn she was shouting, across a crowded room, “do you like semen?”. What she was actually asking was did I like cinnamon!

I’m going home shortly, I’ll see if there’s an opportunity to break out the baked goods. :)

Why don’t my strikeouts ever work? :(

Loving this
Teaat Betty’s...just think what you could with a fat rascal 👍

I'm dying at you telling everyone you have an iron maiden!!!