Oh for goodness sake. I have a crush on the builder

[Keyra]

I’m such a cliche - middle aged sahm crushing on the builder. I need strategies to look busy and keep out of the way.

My DH is a builder. He did some work for friends in the summer and my friend told me she missed his sweaty naked torso on her roof every day! I told DH and his head swelled up enormously!

He also comes home to do his #2s

Builders love tea and biscuits if you can stretch to a bacon sarnie he will be putty in your hands. I have almost lost DH a few times to lovely bacon feeding housewives!

When I moved to the States I would always offer tradesmen cups of tea and biscuits.

DH found out and it turns out I'd got a bit of a name for myself as being either weird or a bit of a bored housewife looking for sex as here that's not the done thing.  I was mortified and now if anyone so much as asks for a glass of water I'm grumpy and tell them to get it themselves.

Surely a sign of his attraction to you is how often he is choosing to wear his false teeth?
If he’s going gappy, I’d say he’s not that into you...

MrsTerryPrachett I love that! If he reads it he’ll think I hate him. As for what it says about his opinion of me, I can’t tell. The wearing of the teeth might be a more reliable indicator as cheque says but I can’t monitor that too closely as it would require me looking at him —and Tatt doesn’t like me to do that—:)

I could probably go down the bacon sarnie route but it’ll have to work quickly - once the extension is finished, the kitchen is being ripped out.

I love it. You can tell how much a man likes you by the number of teeth he wears lol

Oh why do my strikeouts never work? I thought it was 2 hyphens either side of what you wanted to cross out. Someone please tell me!

I’m out now until 8ish so no more encounters today. Thank you all for making me laugh :)

Feed him. Feed the lot of them. They'll be bored with nothing better to do than dissect 'the woman of the house', so you need to invest in all of them. ;)

I'll be back tomorrow to hear blow by blow accounts of the near-conversations..

@sadsadsady

The same thing happened to a friend of mine. She moved to the USA and lived in a conservative small town. One of them actually took her DH aside to warn him that she was trying to sleep with the builders because they'd overheard her offering them tea/coffee and biscuits all day long. The neighbour was actually quite baffled, and still a bit suspicious, when her DH explained it's just normal in the UK.

Being a true Brit, my friend has continued to offer tradesmen tea/coffee and biscuits ever since because to not do so would, of course, be incredibly rude

@Davon we also live in a small community. It's taken me YEARS to convince them I'm not some bored sex maniac. Someone will have to be in serious shock before I offer them a cup of tea again.

(Another British trait people think is hilarious. Dog dead? Cup of tea. Fell down the stairs? Put the kettle on.)

But Americans are generally so much more hospitable! Why no tea for trade? I know an old man who waits for the dustmen with a tea tray

I know it's bloody weird!!!

You need to feed the builders op. We’ve had various work done over the last five years and believe me, all the tradesmen love food. The builders always grateful for hot buttered toast and raspberry jam, chocolate biscuits, cake, ice cream when it was hot,and soup when freezing cold plumbers, toast with butter or a bacon and egg sarnie, chocolate biscuits of any type. The builder has even turned up on a Saturday with his wife and the plumber has brought his kids because they feel so welcome

Did he have his teeth in today op?

I think so Dont :). Can’t decide if I prefer him with or without!

I have builders in too and I am crushing on one of them. He is married though, so am I. Definitely something about him though.

OP I had several years of VERY amazing sex with a chap who came to fix my boiler. Just saying.

I live the ides I'd crush getting chocolate gob nobs and gaffer getting rich tea 🤣🤣

If there is ever a day gaffer is off work for any reason, you and crush could have hours together in bed - be prepared! Stranger things have happened.

This cold snap might be just the thing you know op. Offer him soup!!

Love this thread if my nans teeth are anything to go by, she only clips them in if someone important or family is coming over 

DH proposes thusly:

'Would you like some tea?' (to CB only, obv)

'Yes please'

'Would you like that upstairs or downstairs?'

DH would never get with a fit builder, clearly.

anita

I will confess to having the most dreadful lust for an electrician. I wasn't old enough to be his Mum, more a mad younger Auntie . He was GORGEOUS. I had a terrible urge to bite his muscular biceps every time I saw him. It was awful and not like me at all .

Totally would love "he came into the kitchen to plug his drill in" to have a different meaning altogether 😂

I had a crush on ours. He was definitely young enough to be my son and had lovely stubble and tattoos and was just so capable. He fixed all sorts of niggles that my dh couldn't fix. I used to get the fanny gallops when his transit pulled up on the drive. A year on I still get a slight canter when I see the same colour transit .

Enjoy, op. It's a lovely.. if slightly frustrating.. feeling

Morning :) Nothing to report as far as cb is concerned other than a “good morning” and a 👍. But, slightly worryingly, chatty gaffer is being a bit cheeky/flirty.

Loving anita’s gran and her teeth! And I like your Dh’s suggestion too fuckery but, in the highly unlikely event of ever bringing myself to use it, I think cb would say “er i’ll have it outside with the others thanks”. Sparkling convo and witty repartee don’t seem to among his talents - we’re a match made in heaven if he did but realise it.