Oh for goodness sake. I have a crush on the builder

[Keyra]

I’m such a cliche - middle aged sahm crushing on the builder. I need strategies to look busy and keep out of the way.

Nigel give me some tips! How did you do it?!

Nothing will happen - I’m too shy. But I’m enjoying the novelty of finding someone attractive for the first time in years (and the nicknames too - “considerate shitting builder” made me lol).

I’ll try and work up a convo about dc - I have until Xmas to do it!

Why did nobody tell me that chocolate hobnobs are seductive catnip to builders?! I've been inadvertently hitting on the builder for months! 

Why did nobody tell me that chocolate hobnobs are seductive catnip to builders?! I've been inadvertently hitting on the builder for months!

Hahah amazing

Oh I hate myself! I just went to put some rubbish in the recycling bin. Crushy builder appears pushing a wheelbarrow, having taken his jacket off:

Me: You’ve taken your top off.
CB: yes, I was hot?

Could I have sounded more pervy if I’d tried.

Placemarking in the hope romance will blossom with practically monosyllabic crushy builder.
Prepare some open ended questions op. (Yes, I know I’m bossy but this has sooooo much potential). I’m thinking Xmas eve wedding...

Buttt its fucking freezing!! I think you've pulled keyra

Lol, well at least you're trying!

How did I not know about the biscuit thing. I gave the decorator Kit Kats last week, might as well have walked round naked 😂😳

Was you seductively drinking a diet coke when you mentioned his top? Did he put it back on??

Bemused at people potentially crushing on my builder DP. Its definitely not mine OP he talks the hind leg off a donkey.

The key to mine's heart would be proper coffee made in an espresso pot.

I hope you told him he was still hot. 

My ex was a builder, and the way to his heart were frequent cups of tea. Maybe bake something and offer him some.. Chatty gaffer is a good way in though, get him on side and he might put in a good word about you inadvertently.

Catsandboots PMSL!!!!!

Oh Cat that’s a brill response but even if I’d have thought of it, I couldn’t have said it (unless I’d had some gin - and then I really really would be a cliche - bored, middle-aged, drinking sahm :( ).

SheBangsit cooking isn’t one of my (few) strengths let’s just say that if they run out of bricks, some of my baked goods could come in handy.

Keyra a lot of funny responses on this thread but none funnier than the one from SandraPakistan45 who has such firm faith in your pulling abilities!! S/he thinks you're doing so well with your chat, tea-making abilities and greying knickers on the maiden that a shag, sorry, COITUS, is clearly just around the corner

I think a few sexy knickers on the line, bring out a cup of tea and dark chocolate hob nobs (it's all in the name) and then ask whether he has kids. Or ask the gaffer if he has kids, then make a joke about hobnobs and nobs and see what happens.

@Keyra Currently chuckling at the taken your top off comment. My friend says this sort of thing a lot to her crush and it's hysterical. He often walks around his house in just his underpants so she always messages before she goes around telling him to put his trousers on and more often than not he answers the door while either fastening his trousers, or taking his top off or putting one on. To which without fail she always comments things like 'oh your stripping again'. Last week at the morning service in church he was wearing a shirt with his sleeves rolled up and she decided to go with 'your wearing a shirt, you never wear shirts, or t-shirts. It looks good on you, I mean you look good when your not wearing a shirt as well... I mean you look just as good topless, I mean shirtless. It looks nice you should wear them more often'. She then proceeded gush about how he looked when we got in for two days and is still giggling/kicking herself about her tirade about him looking good topless . Yet he hasn't grasped that she likes him or vice versa

I'd not worry about sounding pervy when my friend said this and I routinely message my very good friend that he is a sexy pirate or a cookie and I'm going to eat him while drunk. He finds it all very amusing and is incredibly smug about it all

How did I not know about the biscuit thing. I gave the decorator Kit Kats last week

He'll be thinking you're into threesomes. Did he look pleased or shocked?

Morningseleven-he has offered to come back before Christmas to do my dining room - clearly thinks his luck is in 😂

Ahem, I hope you were slightly confused probably flustered earlier and you don't actually have an iron maiden in your kitchen?

Pmsl at this thread! You're adorable lol ask him out!

Ooh, placemarking as I feel this thread has a lot of potential 😂

To considerably lower the tone, we had a lovely bunch of builders a few years ago. One was not tall but stocky , looked a right bruiser, not handsome in any conventional sense, but there was something about him that made my insides go all a flutter.

Why did nobody tell me that chocolate hobnobs are seductive catnip to builders?! I've been inadvertently hitting on the builder for months!

Spat my tea out

Some of the best sex I've ever had in my life was with a builder.

Just saying, as it might be worth bribing a mate, who has a deft hand with baked goods, to bash out some muffins that you could pass off as your own.

Also placemarking. Any progress OP? Maybe she's been quiet this afternoon because they've been shagging for the last couple of hours. Or I suppose she could be attending to her DCs but hoping its the former ... 🤞

Xia is that what Sandra meant? If so, she’ll be the first to know!

NameChange that’s funny - I think your friend and I would get on well.

Good grief Olenna I certainly don’t have one of those in my kitchen! Although it could be a conversation starter. What are those drying racks actually called - I’ve been telling everyone for years I’ve got an iron maiden!

I absolutely am not asking him out! Maybe, and it’s a very little maybe, nearer Xmas, I might invest in a little bunch of mistletoe (and a big bottle of gin).

Slight progress this afternoon perhaps in that he came into the kitchen to plug his drill in and said out of nowhere “did you have a nice day yesterday without the builders around?” Or perhaps it’s not progress, just politeness. I’m a tad worried that chatty gaffer is being a bit flirty ...

Anyway they’ve gone now, I’ll be back tomorrow for more tips :)

Bash out muffins?

wtf