Oh for goodness sake. I have a crush on the builder

[Keyra]

I’m such a cliche - middle aged sahm crushing on the builder. I need strategies to look busy and keep out of the way.

Could any of this work, op?!

Contessa thank you very much for that - I was wondering earlier today again what Haram meant.

^

Yeah.

Course you were

Yes, Thomasina, he'll be fiiiinnnnnne once he's in 6th form

dirty I do actually have a cold - is constant nose blowing considered appealing? Is it my own hair I twiddle and my own lips I lick? I've got some old leftover aftershave which will have to do for Diorissimo. This being alluring stuff is hard.

Thomasina I can only see half his head

Best bit: when she thought her friend was mouthing 'semen' across the cafe instead of 'cinnamon'. Just remembered that and started snorting and coughing again - woke DH up!

I was Dontfeel, I promise.

Mnah I quite often do no 31 unintentionally but I'm thinking there might be some mileage in numbers 33, 34, 38, 39 and 40. Do you cry facing in to the corner I wonder?

Sneeze all over CG on Monday. It'll put him off you and hopefully he'll catch your cold and leave you all alone with CB.

Roll on Monday haha

Op get yourself to Thornton’s over the weekend and buy some Special Toffee. Take it out to CG, who does sound a better prospect, and see if the Special toffee magically dislodges a tooth or two.

Keyra I think it's your hair you twiddle while licking someone else's lips. You know, to make CB jealous?

(Ok, I'm breaking my lurk to join in. I have never been so invested in a thread - Keyra you sound lovely, I've got everything crossed for you!)

I love mnah's list - I'm wondering if 37 has legs. Could you ask CB for some advice on something housey DIYish? If he's shy, maybe he'll be more forthcoming talking about something he's an expert in? Or will that fall flat? To be fair, if it was me i'd find myself nodding away to a lengthy set of instructions I don't understand thinking "Shit, am I actually going to have to do all this now?"

Do you cry facing in to the corner I wonder?

I was thinking over your biscuits at the kitchen table, hand across forehead!

The trouble is blue that CG is always in the way. We need to come up with a distraction for CG so op can get free access to CB.

Do they come in to use the loo, op? You could hover outside the door when CB is in there and ambush him on the way out and strike up a conversation about colour schemes. Ask him what colour his kitchen is? What that his choice or his wife/girlfriend/partner. Block his access back to outside. Have flapjacks handy and keep offering them whilst lip licking and hair flicking.

Or when CG is in the loo quickly get outside and get to work on CB. You'll have to be as subtle as a breezeblock unless CG takes a long time in the loo.

I look forward to the updates and watch with interest

I have a crush on a guy through work he comes in once or twice a week. I haven’t had a proper crush for years. I even have made a playlist on my iPhone

Crush has been there for a few months but in the last few weeks it’s stepped up to almost obsessional levels I walk around stupidly grinning, I laugh hysterically at his jokes and felt giddy when I handed him his cup of tea yesterday

I think another colleague has noticed

Haha - I'm on a busy train which has just stopped. Driver has just apologised and said he's sorry, there's a slight fault with the train and he's going to try and sort it. Group of lads next to me are making funny quips along the lines of "he means he's going to do the old switch it on and off again". Meanwhile the lights are going on and off so I think that actually is what's happening!

Do not be dazzled by CB. He's the building equivalent of Willoughby, while CG is clearly Colonel Brandon

I'm so low brow I was thinking "What's Holly Willoughby got to do with this? And who's replaced Phillip Schofield?"

Weep in the corner facing out, OP, otherwise it’s all a bit Blair Witch.

You’re aiming for the second one.

@MorningsEleven

A brief synopsis

takeabreathwithme.blogspot.com/2011/09/willoughby-vs-colonel-brandon.html

Willoughby - pretty boy, venal, unreliable
Col. Brandon - all-round Lovely Man and, most importantly, PLAYED BY ALAN RICKMAN

I rest my case.

I've read the book, seen Alan Rickman being all manly, just didn't make the connection 😃

Crying only works if you do pretty crying. Getting back to Alan Rickman, you need to avoid Juliet Stevenson in Truly Madly Deeply.

Hope that your train journey went well, OP.
Although that reminds me of trains and tunnels...

I actually nearly peed myself laughing at "fanny gallops". Thankyou 😂😂😂😂

Op you sound great and I really hope you get a stroke of luck this week!

Op you sound great and I really hope you get a stroke of luck this week

Heres hoping she gets to stroke something this week anyway

CB needs renaming CFB! Helping himself to your flapjacks! Ooer Mrs! If he doesn't shape up, knock his teeth out. It may not help you fancy him, but he might go to A&E and let you at CB!