Ridiculous things you’ve done when drunk.

[OutsideTheUsualMoralConstraint]

I just spent five minutes sawing the burnt cheesy top off a pizza in order to eat the bread bit underneath in an unsorched state.

TBF, now my blood sugar is more stable, I’m a lot better.

I had a glass and a half of wine in front of the TV tonight, texting DH as he’s away with work. I forgot the couple of herbal relaxation supplements I’d taken this afternoon. They didn’t mix well.

Cue my grilling a pizza on high for 20 minutes rather than simply heating in the oven. Much smoke and a lot of hungry angst.

Married ExDH. Needed Dutch courage to go through with it.
Last year's xmas party, my boss told us she was considering a new job offer. I told her she was a fucking twat.

I asked a colleague whether he was aware that everyone thought he was shagging his sister. Then I asked him if he was shagging his sister.

They most definitely were shagging

@BuggerMyBum how much money? 🤨

£100

I was only 18, that was a lot of money.

@BuggerMyBum

I'd have probably done it for a pint of Stella and a packet of dry roasted 🤷🏼‍♀️

Decided to dance (badly) on a pool table not noticing the ceiling fan directly above me, caught my top in it while waving my arms about and ripped my sleeve.

DD has a habit of bringing random objects home when she’s had a few

TBH, I was willing to just do it for the attention and because I wanted to impress one of the men. So the £100 was a bonus really

When we were teenagers we used to break into my old primary school and drink in the wendy house. One evening we were also smoking a lot of weed and I felt really sick.

I opened one of the drawers (you know the sets of drawers they have in classrooms and each one has a kids name on it), puked in it, and closed it again.

I still feel terrible for whichever kid opened that the next morning.

oh dear too many..
got arrested age 16 in germany for being drunk in charge of a bicycle
Squatted in full view of venue in a ball gown for a wee because I couldn't be bothered to go back inside whilst waiting for cab
Fell in a dishwasher whilst stacking it
Danced on far more tables than I care to think of

Wee'd in someone's driveway on my way home on new years eve,tried a threesome but it wasn't for me,got kicked out of a pub for smoking out of the window

Bought a massive stag head on eBay

Tried to put on all my clothes at once, tripped over and broke a toe

Shagged in nightclub car park in full view of cctv on the bonnet of someones car

Pretended to be Torville and Dean with a friend in a nightclub which had just sprayed fake snow on the floor. We really believed we were them too

And last Boxing Day at a friends house for christmas drinks friend dared me to down a vodka and lemonade in one. Which i did and downed several more. I was very sick and had to be helped home because i couldnt stand. In my defence the last one was because i was going through a lot of stress and i think i just released the pressure. It took me a long time to even want a drink after that.

My boss and I got pissed at a work do, fell asleep on the last train home and missed our stop so her husband had to drive about an hour each way to rescue us (about 3 weeks ago

Last Christmas - had been on the cocktails in town, was on the way home, went to lean on what I thought was a fence for a bit of a rest on the way up a very steep hill. It was actually a low knee high wall with a hedge behind it - fell over the wall and got completely stuck in the hedge - random (equally pissed) passers by had to help me out. Arrived home with leaves and twigs in my hair, a scratched up face and a rip in my favourite coat

@GreenFieldsofFrance I am actually in tears laughing here

Got a little carried away on apres ski...we all decided to ski back to the chalet, boots undone, no gloves etc, except I missed the turn. Woke up in the snow at the bottom of the resort, presumably had skied into nearby picnic bench and knocked myself out....managed to stumble back up to the chalet carrying my skies to discover a black eye, massive lump on my head and missing my 18th birthday present watchfool, never skied drunk again!

I was about 19 and at a house party of a guy I was desperately trying to impress. I got so drunk, I thought I was at home and tried to go to bed; stripped naked but lost my bearings on the landing and fell down the stairs into the living room and knocked myself out.



Offered my friend's DH a threesome if he would go and get us a takeaway (he did get the food, he didn't take advantage of my hammered state to hsve the threesome).

Let the very sleezy manager buy me drinks all night when I was 17 (he wss mid 30s and married) because I knew he fancied me and I took advantage of that.

A great rendition of Wuthering Heights dance in the middle of the dance floor at a party.

Drunk a random vodka and redbull left on a table in a club, thankfully there ws nothing wrong with it but I wouldn't have known if it was spiked at all. That was really stupid.

Decided to start 'planking' people, then laid on the floor and insisted my friend stand on my back, tried to do splits and other random moves, none of which I can do. I was in a lot of pain the next day.

Always been the one in the group who drinks far too much and throws up, a lot and needs looking after. Thankfully I've learnt and I stop before it gets to that point now.

I’m not a big drinker now, I get quite sick and I’m a lightweight.

One time at uni at a bbq party I got really drunk and was trying to find my way back inside for a wee/sick and was pawing at the door trying to get in the house.

Anyway the door wouldn’t open and I just started throwing up against the door and then really confused I gave up on trying to sort myself out and sat down against the building.

A friend came and found me - I was at the shed door down the far end of the garden... was a long garden.

He was a good un. Sluced off my feet (had sick on them) and got me to bed. I work up about 6am realised what had happened and tried to go out and clean up but he had washed the sign off the door and floor for me.

Oh, and at my own promotion drinks I got too drunk on red wine, told junior colleagues about my break up and then threw up red wine sick ON the DLR just as the doors opened at my station. Not my finest hour.

Had sex with a guy near a river by a park.
Had sex behind a Fire Station.
Had sex in a car(twice on the same night)in a lay by and parked up down a residential road,the lay by was the worst one because it was dark when we started but by the time we stopped the sun had come up and cars were drivng past us.
Had sex in a supermarket car park.
Had mindblowing sex whilst dressed as Mrs Claus with a one night stand.
Took part in a competiton to collect the most kisses of fit guys whilst in fancy dress,I won!
Took part in a competition where you had to wear candy necklaces and the one with the littlest candy left at the end was the winner,I won that one to!

Messed around with a couple of guys I shouldn't have.

Mine sound awful but I regret none of them and I like to think they'll be lovely memories that keep me warm through old age.

@ohtheholidays completely agree

Absolutely no regrets here either!

Go you 

This month. Sobbed to the lead singer of one of my favourite bands and told him their music saved my life ( it didn't) i don't remember much but dh said i was sweet but pissed. Don't want to meet him again (cringe)
I regularly tell people i professionally sing but can barely hold a tune.
I regularly talk (shout) at bands i see holding weird pissed conversations in the middle of their sets.
I should stick to watching them on you tube.

@IJustLostTheGame you can't just say that and not give us the details! Spill the whole story ;-)

On my last day after 15 years in a teaching job ,much drink was taken when the kids had left. On my way home attempted to ride my moped in a sort of slalom between traffic cones on a country road. I am so lucky that neither I nor anyone else was hurt. It was about 35 years ago and I still cringe.

Started a sing along on the night bus home to She's Electric by Oasis. Everyone joined in. Even people getting on the bus. It was only right. We were passing through Burnage.