Ridiculous things you’ve done when drunk.

[OutsideTheUsualMoralConstraint]

I just spent five minutes sawing the burnt cheesy top off a pizza in order to eat the bread bit underneath in an unsorched state.

TBF, now my blood sugar is more stable, I’m a lot better.

I had a glass and a half of wine in front of the TV tonight, texting DH as he’s away with work. I forgot the couple of herbal relaxation supplements I’d taken this afternoon. They didn’t mix well.

Cue my grilling a pizza on high for 20 minutes rather than simply heating in the oven. Much smoke and a lot of hungry angst.

Bought a hot tub

Years ago, went out drinking the night before an important job interview ….. woke up feeling ok, then waves of nausea started whilst on the train. Had to get off mid journey to vom in the loos on the platform. Got back on train, just made it to destination, then had to run into nearby park to vom again.

Made it to interview, got the job … then realised afterwards I had vomit on my boots and the bottom of my trousers. Had I known what an absolute pisshead my new boss was, I would have shared the info with her. In fact I did, several months later. She said she hadn't noticed the vom, but had thought I was a bit green looking and rather quiet.

Put my debit card into the receipt bin next to a cash point messing about with friends. Panicked. Didn't want to manage without it until Monday when the bank opened. Panicked some more.

We ended up taking the box off the wall and onto the bus into town with us and I jiggled it up and down until my card fell out. Just about the most criminal, irresponsible thing I've ever done. I watched Crimewatch a lot for weeks, holding my breath. Very stupid.

Passed out on the pavement. Had to be carried home.

Passed out in pub and in my "sleep" stripped to waist. Barred from pub.

So embarrassing.

I went to a fancy do for my sport's club, at which there was a big raffle with prizes ranging from extremely expensive equipment for the sport I do to booze to sweets and general pointless tat.

I was pretty skint at the time but as it happened I really needed to replace some of my sports equipment, and one of the prizes was exactly what I needed - £250 worth of perfect! So bought a strip of tickets and went to the bar....

A couple of hours later the raffle was drawn and fucking hell they've called my number!! Eeeeee, new expensive equipment, saves me £250 when I've got about £20 to my name!! I walked up to the table to collect my prize, but there I spied something I hadn't noticed before; a stupidly ugly stuffed panda that just screamed "love me!". How could I say no to that adorable face??

I am a totally massive idiot when drunk.

Years ago my husband's boss was getting married and we were invited. It was the height of summer and the reception was held in the grounds of their very posh big house. The waiters were constantly refilling our champagne glasses, the sun was beating down, I'd not eaten anything ... hours passed and then we went into the marquee for dinner.

Toasts, wine, more wine, ... I got horribly drunk. I blame them naturally, keeping us standing in the hot sun, forcing champagne down us then bottles and bottles of wine with dinner.

Anyhoo after the happy couple left for honeymoon, there was a midnight hog roast, and a videographer asking people to say some congratulatory messages, to be made into a dvd and given to the couple when they got back from honeymoon.

I was unable to speak properly, so I announced I would convey my good wishes by means of interpretive dance - cue much gurning and sub-Kate Bush waving of arms.

I still wake up in a hot sweat, cringing about it.

That is awesome, Tighnabruaich. I was very drunk and needed to take the bus back home but it was really late and there didn't seem to be any coming. I'd recently got back to the UK from hitchhiking round Greece, so flagged down a random car and asked if they could take me back home. I was just about to get in when common sense kicked in and I said, "No, you're too pissed." To which the driver incredulously replied, "I'm too pissed??"

Woke up at the end of the tube line to discover I had vomited all over myself. I then had to get the mainline train the rest of the way home, with puke all down the front of my clothes.

Fall over in the caves today. I was drunk walking around them with a friend today. It hurt. My knees still hurt hours later.

It take 5 hours to grill a roast chicken just so you know.

That is absolutely hilarious

I drunk shop all the time. Last year a 'Frozen' Lego set turned up in the post. I thought WTF?

I was on a cruise and suddenly decided I'd had enough to drink, ran back to my cabin, ineptly opened a packet of crisps which went everywhere, put on the life jacket and inflated it then fell asleep.

So I woke up the next morning very confused about why I was trussed up in this inflatable thing surrounded by crisps.

Stupid thing was if the ship had flooded in my sleep I would have been marooned against the ceiling. Not good thinking.

Got extremely drunk at a new years party. Had vague memory of having too taken off. Woke up in bed next morning with a bucket next to me. Thankfully the top removal was my friends mum because I chucked up over myself, and I was taken home by her and put to bed by my mum. I was 14 at the time

top taken off

Dressed as santa at a work xmss do years ago and genuinely thought I was incognito and went around telling certain people what I thought of them, but in the 3rd person, as santa. I very much believed they had no idea it was me. Same party pulled up a stool next to the new MD of the business and proceeded to give him some 'top tips' on making the transition from director to MD (I was an hourly paid admin term). Same Christmas do, as aforementioned newly promoted MD got up to leave he put a long coat on and I lifted up the back of it, stuck my face right in his arse and did a huge raspberry on it.

How I was not sacked I do not know.

Puked:

On a DJs decks
Into a pint glass which overflowed
Into the mouth of a guy I was snogging in Ibiza
On a peddalo
In my handbag
On a mega bus
Into a welly boot

All 10+ years ago. I'm now happiest on an evening with a horlicks and my kindle. I'm so happy to be old.

Drunk in bed.

Sat up, vomited over duvet.

Lay back down and slept under vomited on duvet.

@LanguidLobster

I am howling

Snogged a mate of mine so he could win a bet.

Turned out to be much better than anticipated, we’ve been together 18 years and three children...

Fell over in the snow and smashed my face off the floor. Broke my front tooth, and wasn't registered with an NHS dentist so cost me upwards of £2000 to get fixed.. most expensive night out ever.

Oh, actually I was sick in my sleep when I was in university, but I was sick off the side of the bed all over my macbook.... that was an interesting conversation with my parents who very kindly bought me a new one (for birthday and christmas present!)

Tried to disguise myself as a man using a baseball cap and hoodie... despite still wearing a dress underneath. This was in an attempt to sneak in to a men only bar in Benidorm with my two friends lol x

Telling my work crush I fancied him.

Got my boobs out on stage