Ridiculous things you’ve done when drunk.

[OutsideTheUsualMoralConstraint]

I just spent five minutes sawing the burnt cheesy top off a pizza in order to eat the bread bit underneath in an unsorched state.

TBF, now my blood sugar is more stable, I’m a lot better.

I had a glass and a half of wine in front of the TV tonight, texting DH as he’s away with work. I forgot the couple of herbal relaxation supplements I’d taken this afternoon. They didn’t mix well.

Cue my grilling a pizza on high for 20 minutes rather than simply heating in the oven. Much smoke and a lot of hungry angst.

Too many to list

Most recently was strip naked in a bus stop in front of a pub full of people 🤷🏼‍♀️

Oh and I might have bumped into a mum from school and told her she has her head up her own arse 😬

My most very recent one, from a couple of days ago, thinking it would be a great idea to join in with the busker and sing along with him when I have a terrible singing voice.

Been sick all over my tent mates sleeping bag and then passed out. Must have regained consciousness enough to recall her calling me a dirty fucking bitch.
Not exactly my finest hour...

Having a threesome at a park on the children’s play equipment (in the middle of the night) is the worst thing, especially now I have children and take them to the park often. I’ve forgiven myself everything else, but can’t get past that.

I don’t drink anymore.

Whenever I drink I message my best male friend. This is outing but last time I messaged him several times to tell him that he was a very sexy pirate, and then a lot of garbled nonsense about cookies and that he is a cookie so that was fun. He was incredibly smug about it all unsurprisingly.

On a date. Decided I didn't like him. Legged it across a playing field to get away from him and faceplanted into mud. Kept going. Near my house is a small park you can cut through during the day. Gate was open. Result. Got to the other side and gate was locked. Tried to climb over. Landed face first on concrete. Fat lip. Black eye. Scuffed face

I had to lie and say I was mugged

A little too much TMI lol but my hubby has an interest in swinging or other kinky stuff haha sooooo…………

I went out one night (with his encouragement) and got trashed with my friend.... and we picked up two guys, went home with them....

and the rest is history as they say haha.

My housemate 

I’ve forgiven myself everything else, but can’t get past that.

Why? It's not like little kids were going to be playing at the park in the middle of the night.

Oh, I've drunken ordered more than once.

I once ordered 5kg of fake rose petals from China off Ebay whilst soused. When they arrived about a month later I thought I'd been swizzed.

I'm a bit older and so had a lot of drunken sex with strangers back in the day.

Sat on a Parker scooter which fell with me in it. Then knocked the policeman’s helmet off (who had been called to investigate) - it seemed funny at the time of course. There were several of us involved. All old enough to know beryuch better. All putting careers at very serious risk. The apologies to the officer were immediate andnfulsome (if a bit slurred).

My typing seems slurred !

@tessiegirl

I ate a moth...

😂😂😂😂😂

I should add I am more embarrassed by the fact that because of who we were and where we were we weren’t charged with various offences which we could have been and many are routinely. That’s a matter of personal/political shame/relief. I never forget that aspect of it. Pretty crap really.

DH fell asleep on the train home last week and missed his stop. I had to drive an hour and a half to fetch him.

I once stole a commemorative barometer from the wall of a police social club.

@MrsTommyBanks
My heart goes out to the family of that young man. It truly does.
That said, its human nature to find humour in our darkest times. Its what we do.

There is a difference between finding humour in dark times - which I fully understand and agree with- and boasting about the stuff you did when totally pissed.

Seeing a woman ( or a man) drunk and incapable of controlling their behaviour or being sick in the gutter or wherever, is imo not funny at all. There is a HUGE health issue with women drinking too much per se.

I'm not the 'fun police' but why would anyone want to brag about being so drunk they did silly things? Don't you know how stupid you looked? You were objects of pity.

I don't think any of my appalling behaviour, whilst drunk, is funny at all.

Having said that, I don't think it's wrong to laugh at stupid stuff done whilst pissed.

Did a gymnastics display for my friends in my back garden ( I can't do gymnastics)
Drunk-rapped for a 40 minute bus journey on the way back from a night out (I can't rap)
Convinced the band at my friends wedding that I was a professional drummer and they let me 'play' a song. (I'm not a professional drummer)
Thought it would be hilarious to shout hello through the letterbox of every house on the way home from the pub (I'm sure it wasn't)
Fell off a wall
Insisted my husband push me back to our hotel room on a drinks trolley because I couldn't walk
Did karaoke and refused to give the microphone back (they prised it out of my hand eventually)
Stole an incredibly heavy ashtray from a nightclub (I don't smoke)
Stuck my head up a chimney in a pub just to prove I could (came out covered in soot)
Squirted washing up liquid all over our kitchen floor so I could make an ice rink (it was rubbish)
I no longer drink.....

Banged out a panel of my front door to crawl through as I'd lost my keys. Fpund them in my pocket the next day. Flatmate hugely unimpressed!

@MrsBrownsGirlies while it's fine for you to have your opinion and a sense of humour failure to not want to partake in such activities, I personally couldn't give 2 hoots about whoever is pitying me or indeed how stupid I look to anyone else.
We all end up dead, enjoy the ride/ drink the gin 🤷🏼‍♀️

walked barefoot in the nyc subway after taking off heels

Besides loosing my knickers in a club toilets after having an eventful 10minutes with someone?!

Going back to a friends house, during the night spilt beer on my dress which was on the floor, so dress was soaked, had to walk home in my shoes, thankfully I had a coat covering my dignity!

Kissing my gay friend to make an ex jealous. Everyone knew he was gay!

Thinking it was a good idea to make cupcakes after a night out, it was 3am and my mum was asleep upstairs!

I tried to run away from home when everything was too much - full time job, 4 teenagers, husband busy working.
I got as far as boarding a ship bound for Holland, realised it was stupid, and started walking home to face it all.
A kind policeman saw me and gave me a lift home (about 4 miles.)
I've never told anyone about this btw. Hope no-one knows me!

Did a strip-tease at a university party & pranced around in a g-string & high heels till my boyfriend appeared with a dressing gown & bundled me away.

Rang up said boyfriend years later after he'd dumped me & had married someone else - I'd just got home & was probably the pissedest I've ever been.

Agreed to marry my twat STBXH mid drunken shag.

Tonnes of one night stands

In a club once and there was a woman wearing exactly the same outfit as me who kept looking over at me. I marched over the dance floor with all intentions to knock her out. T'was a mirror.

I had a leaving party when I left this one job. My boss left about midnight. I immediately went to the toilet, took a picture of my tits and text him telling him all the sexy things I'd been dreaming about doing to him since I started there. He never replied.

I puked in a policeman's hat.

Had sex with a woman (I'm not gay) in front of a crowd of men for money