How often do you get a child free night?

[bigfishlittlefishtupperwarebox]

My DH and I have one DC, a 2yo. If you are or have been in roughly the same boat, how often do/did they stay out overnight so you could have a night off to go out as a couple etc? Just trying to settle a dispute with my DH...

I know there are a lot of different variables, but for info, our DD is at one set of DGPs for two working days as childcare, and at the other set of DGPs for 5/6 hours another day already.

Once in 12 years when both my DS were at sleepovers (their friends)

My lovely mum has passed away and MIL not interested

I have a stressful full time job so have to spend time away every other month so think I would feel guilty if I farmed them out on a weekend

Would be nice though.....

I never have a child free night mind you if i did i think id just sleep lol. My 6 year old does not sleep literally i am running on lack of sleep lol

Eldest 14 and never had a child free night. In laws dead and my family not interested so there is only DH and me. Hard at times

My eldest is almost 10 and she has stayed away a couple of times when she was a few months old and when she was 1. She's also had brownie camps and school trips away. I've since had 2 more children (7 & 6) and they've stayed away once when we had an event to attend.

It's hard to find anyone actually willing and able to have 3 kids and in my experience once the cute baby phase is over the offers dry up quicker anyway.

However DH has taken them away to stay with his parents a couple of times leaving me in peace at home alone. Blissful.

Twice in 11 years - two nights in 2015 and one in 2017. I could name the exact hours and dates if you asked- it is that rare and exciting. Won't happen in 2018.
Family have never ever offered- I had to ask friends directly and then be quite pushy coming back with a specific date. My DC aren't difficult, it's just no-one wants them apart from us!
I am sorry for your loss Wrong.

My kids are 5 and 4. No one has ever had them for us overnight, so never in answer to your question.

In fact, in 5 years we have only had 3 nights out in total (as in, 3 evenings 8-11pm away with a baby-sitter). I could tell you the exact days/times.

One of those 3 nights was our wedding night when child 1 was 9months old. We had to be back to collect her at 9am...

We've had two children free nights in the last 12 years.

So OP apologies for not answering your question directly but I can see you already have 14 pages of answers here to evaluate and didn’t see the point of adding more. As you divulged some marriage issues and the reason, I’m wondering if it helps or how you have interpreted the answers? I guess there is always a danger in asking everyone else that people do what’s right for them or applicable to their circumstances. Ie some people ( like you) have close help at hand and are grateful for that, some don’t ( and wish they had more) and some don’t and either don’t care or are resigned to it. What’s important here however is what you are now going to do with all the replies you now have? Are you going to use them to point score (my cynical head), are you going to realise how lucky you are to have involved grandparents who could actually assist you more in having some more free time with each other to work things out? will you both listen more to what each other is saying, could you both admit you both may have valid points re workaholic/childaholic and perhaps start the hard work involved in making your marriage better and reconnecting again. I wish you all the best. PS. not expecting you to answer any of these questions on mumsnet as your marriage is your private business- just food for thought.

Never. My kids are 17 (autistic), 14, 12 (ADHD) and 9

About once a year. Grandparents on both sides live abroad and one set are not up for childcare at all... so it's only when my parents come to stay usually at Christmas but once or twice in the summer if they didnt come at Christmas that year. We just haven't lived in our area long enough to find decent childcare like a trusted babysitter. We do have a couple of friends but they dont like to go out themselves and are always with their kids, so I would feel bad asking them as they wouldn't understand nor want the favour returned.

DD is almost 4, we have had 2 x one nights away. One night was our “mini-moon” in 2016 (we married when our DD had just turned one) and the second night away was in November 2018.

As for “date nights” my mum keeps tabs on how often my DH and I go out, haha! She will remind us it was X amount (for example; three months) since our last date night so she offers so we can go out for the evening. DH and I rarely ask for any babysitting. It works for us, we are content with that. My mum is so lovely and I try to repay the favour back by taking her out as and when I can (when DH is home to look after DD)

Couple of times a month - my MIL looks after my DC on a Monday so she takes them to her house a couple of Sunday nights. My mum takes them once a month aswell.

Never. Not once in 5 years.

Every couple of months or so. We're lucky to have both sets of grandparents in the same town and willing to help, and that we have one 5yo who settles well for them. It's been a bit less often lately as FIL has had some health problems and been staying in their spare room as he's not sleeping well, but MIL is still happy to do evening babysitting here, and has offered to stay overnight here with her so we can go to DB's 40th which is the other side of the country and not child-friendly.

Once a year when our 2 go to OH's parents for a week in the summer holidays.

It's fucking bliss.

DD is 5, I think we’ve had 2 nights away together, but that’s it. I go away with work a few times a year, but it’s full on. OH works away Monday to Friday, so gets 4 nights a week, but he works long hours
You’ve inspired me to arrange a night away together somewhere :)

Once a week shocked at some of these answers!!

Never, DH's parents are 3 hours away, my parents are only 2 mins away, they will do any day time weekday babysitting but no weekend day time or overnights

Would love a night in a hotel format upcoming birthday but that's not happening

Every school holiday my in laws have my two (4 and 2) for 1 or 2 nights.

I have a 17 year old daughter though who will babysit for us so we could go out anytime, but we tend to stay home

We have a 2 year old and one year old twins. Since the twins were born we’ve had one night away and we’ve had 3 since we became parents. We’re having a weekend away in February for our anniversary, which will be the longest we’ve ever been away from them

About twice a year. We don't have any living parents.

We have nights out a few times a year but we’ve never stayed out overnight. We always come home so gp’s can go home. DS’s 10.

Never.

About three times last year, highly unlikely at all this year. Not anywhere near parents, and anyone happy to sit with DS for even an evening has moved away. I realise that's our choice though, living far away from support.

Maybe once every 2 months? We have 2 sets of grandparents locally but don’t ask for childcare all the time because they do childcare during the week. We do quite well though I think, to have an overnight every couple of months the 2 of us.
We also go on an annual holiday with my parents and have a few meals out the 2 of us then.