How often do you get a child free night?

[bigfishlittlefishtupperwarebox]

My DH and I have one DC, a 2yo. If you are or have been in roughly the same boat, how often do/did they stay out overnight so you could have a night off to go out as a couple etc? Just trying to settle a dispute with my DH...

I know there are a lot of different variables, but for info, our DD is at one set of DGPs for two working days as childcare, and at the other set of DGPs for 5/6 hours another day already.

There's always one arse who comes on the thread preaching about never being away for a night because they love their kids so much more than the rest of us and would never spend a night away.

Usually reeks of jealousy.

I love spending time with DP away from the usual hum drum of life stuff. Keeps us young!

Am child free EOW.... since splitting up with stbxh

Before that once every 6wks when they'd go to my Mums for a night.

One of the positives of XH leaving for OW

We have a 6,4 and just 2 yo. We haven’t had a night without the youngest ever because she still breastfeeds every few hours thru the night. We co sleep with all of them so haven’t slept in the same bed alone for 6 years and not in the same bed at all for 4.3 years since ds2.

Ds1 even slept between us on our honeymoon/wedding night when he was 3 months old!

My mum comes over and watches them while we pop out for lunch on birthdays/our anniversary.

We don’t even have evenings alone as they are shit at going to bed so we just all go to bed together at 9pm.

I haven’t seen an adult tv programme or the news in years! Dh tries to work from home one day a week and we schedule an hour together while they are all at school/preschool. But he works away a lot so that only happens about 1/4 of the time as he is also the carer for his dad so often has to arrange appointments in that hour.

I'm the DGP and I look after DGS sometimes at ours, usually at theirs and we have an overnight or two at least once a month.

Meant to say nearly 2 year old twice a week plus

Kids are 15, 13, 9 and 7: we're looking forward to our first child-free night EVER 😂 Close friends are having them all to stay for the night whilst we go on a fostering training course. We're down to one grandparent now, and due to her being a narcissistic, the less time the kids spend with her, the safer they are. Parents-in-law both passed away and were too old/frail for doing anymore than two evening sessions when we moved to be within an hour's drive of them, and my late dad lived 4-5 hours away and had a myriad of health probs so would never have coped with the kids. No other family. All mine breastfed for a long time so by the time I could have left one, I was pregnant with the next one. I do sometimes envy people who have close-knit families who are willing and able to be part of the kids' lives, but we just have to get on with the situation we've got. I think I haven't encouraged sleep-overs because I've never got used to them sleeping out anywhere, so now it seems like a big deal. We home-ed as well, and live rurally, so our friends are all scattered over about a 50 mile radius, so there's no opportunity for just popping them over to a friend's for the night - it would all seem a bit like hard work 😆 The older two have gone away on youth camp several times before, but we're left with the younger two, so never alone. Out of a whole lifetime, it's not a huge amount of time though.

Never. I started to enjoy sleepovers at my aunt's when I was about 9 so maybe then

Literally never, since our first was born 6.5 years ago (now have a nearly 4yo too). Family live far away plus kids are lively and hard work especially at bedtime (& family are very much of the thinking "you had those kids, you deal with the consequences"), don't feel comfortable having a stranger look after them (& though we could afford it it would feel like a ridiculous indulgence... for us, nor judging anyone who does hire babysitters) and all local friends also have young kids and have never offered so I wouldn't like to impose.

I have a 2.5 year old. Childfree night on either a Friday or Saturday, maybe once a month or when the GP's can look after him. They live about 20 minutes away.

I know we are very lucky in that respect and we have a good relationship. I never just expect them to look after him though.

Wow, so many responses, and so varied. I guess the variety was to be expected though! As I said, I do think we are very lucky to have as many "nights off" as we have. I hate asking for more than we get already as it feels like I'm imposing on the DGPs, they have her enough as it is and have lives of their own.

His idea of a good child free night is going out for a meal and then the pub - neither of us drinks in the house so can't do that when she's in bed and we're here. We did that a lot before she came along.

I think he hasn't quite realised how much of a tie a child is, he split with his ex when DSS was 18mo and I think they led very separate lives for a good while before that so he hasn't realised until now that you actually have to be at home to look after DC, you can't just go out together whenever you fancy...

Loads to be fair. DS is 11. One set of gp's both retired, I'd say DS stays there for a night at least once a month. My Dsis has also had him for a weekend once a year enabling DH and I to do a weekend city break. And we've just started a reciprocal sleepover arrangement with parents of DS's friend.

Once a year.

Grandparents babysit once every two months average but no other childcare from them. DD has never stay out at grandparents.

You could use the £400 a month you are saving in childcare when the grandparents are covering to pay for a babysitter so you can go out.

3 dcs, 12 and under, and we’ve never had a night off together - my sister did offer this year but, to be fair, we quite enjoy their company now...and we have precious little family time together as a unit as it is.

Overnight (one night) maybe once every three or four months, two or three night mini break twice a year. We are very fortunate to have the grandparents and our siblings nearby and able and happy to help. We reciprocate by having our siblings children/the grandparents’ dogs overnight/for weekends at other times

Eldest is 14 and we never have yet.
We get baby sitters so we can go out.

Together as a couple, maybe once or twice a year, tops. And only then if we had an occasion, like a wedding. I think the last time was my 40th, three years ago. I don’t mind though, to be honest. We were together for 9 years before we had kids, we had plenty of fun - and we still do now, just a bit differently.

Not enough! Once every 3 months if I'm lucky which annoys me tbh as MIL has her other grandchild daily while the mum swans around doing nothing! (Her favourites child!)

When DS1 was that age he slept out once a week but we had both sets of grandparents close by plus several aunts and uncles.

Never. Our DD is 14. DH sometimes goes away for work. We go out separately with friends, never 2 of us.
Really shocked by this thread, 10 years without a night away from your kids. Don't they go on school trips or sleepovers?
She was away on school trip for 2 nights. That’s it.
We are exactly at the same situation as ShinyElena - GPs live in different country and they are in their 80s.
I actually feel much better after reading this thread - I’m not alone.

One night per year has been our average

Hardly ever, we don't have overnight babysitters.

One dc, aged 2.

Try and do an evening out once a month to 6 weeks, but that's usually home by midnight latest.

We've both had 1 overnight away, but at different times due to work commitments.

Never and DD is nearly 2. Very grateful for this thread as feel so alone when other parents talk about their kids going to DGPs for a couple of nights (suddenly it makes sense why their homes are so much cleaner than mine!). Have had to go NC with my Mum because of safeguarding reasons, Dad doesn’t really stay in touch with his older children (new marriage) and in-laws are 80 and live 3 hours away. Always feel quite lonely.