How often do you get a child free night?

[bigfishlittlefishtupperwarebox]

My DH and I have one DC, a 2yo. If you are or have been in roughly the same boat, how often do/did they stay out overnight so you could have a night off to go out as a couple etc? Just trying to settle a dispute with my DH...

I know there are a lot of different variables, but for info, our DD is at one set of DGPs for two working days as childcare, and at the other set of DGPs for 5/6 hours another day already.

Atleast twice a month and more if I had stuff on. That's just my parents though, their fraternal GPs do naff all. My mum would have them one night a week if I needed her too, however we did all live together at one point my kids and my mum have an amazing bond ! I know I'm very very lucky. They would also have my kids for a long weekend once a year if I want a mini holiday. I will be doing the same for my own grandchildren should they want my help :)

Depends on what we have on but I'd say it averages at least once a month, possibly twice (4 yo and 5 mo). MIL would take them all the time. DS was crying for them last night as they're on holiday so he hasn't seen them for over a week and we ended up on FaceTime. He's booked in his sleepover for the weekend they get home!

Both sets of GPs also do a day each of childcare (not at the moment as I'm on mat leave).

I'm not sure if the hardship comment was aimed at me. I love spending time with DC, I am a very hands on parent, and I love spending time with them. They are my absolute priority and the most precious thing in my life.

I do however very much enjoy an occasional night without them, and even the odd weekend thanks to cub camps.

I'm not judging anyone who Parents differently be it by choice or necessity.

Haven't had a night away with DH in well over 8 years. We had one night on our own last year when DS had a school residential. I've had two individual nights on my own when I've gone away on my own overnight for special events. DH is often away for work so he's quite seasoned with "nights away."

GPs all live 4000+ miles away in America. Such is life.

We go out every year for our anniversary. That's it. No helpful family and not many friends.

@Fashionista101

My mom is a legend too. Dd is 9 months old and she has her every Saturday lunch time til Sunday afternoon bliss. Dd is completely besotted with her. I love it 😊

One night every weekend we're at our caravan (DH's mum lives full time on the site) we go at least every other weekend.

Dh doesn’t see the dc in the week so naturally he is less keen to get rid of them at weekends, so if my mum offered to have them over night and for a substantial part of the day too he’d be reluctant if it was too often. He also isn’t bothered as much by dd still breastfeeding (thru the night) as it doesn’t affect him.

I’d love more time without them tho as I am short tempered and tired.

I think it’s hard if one of you is a sahp and spends all their time with the children and another doesn’t see them 5 days out of 7. One might want more time away than the other.

I find a night out while using a babysitter not really that satisfying - we have done it twice. We come home at midnight to awake children and it costs a fortune. The next day We’re shattered as we are then awake in the night, so it doesn’t seem worth it. Like we’re just ticking a box of what we think couples should do.

The last time we did a date at night we were so tired we couldn’t think of anything to say really - neither of us enjoyed it. Since then we have gone to lunch together twice which worked much better.

Never had a night off as a couple - oldest DC is 5.
I've had 1 night away with a friend in that time. I'd love for us to have a night off but neither set of parents have the room or seem that willing tbh.

Mrskoala..... totally agree. Breaking our dcs routine isn’t worth the pain of the repercussions. I don’t want to leave them but the last time I had to (to have dc2 in hospital), I hated it and so did dc1.

Mine are asleep before the babysitter comes, they generally have no idea they’ve even got a babysitter!

No that he is 12 we have more free nights. When he was little none for years. We had no babysitter.

We tend to have a child free night on average once every 3 weeks. My dc are 14, 11 and 4. We’re lucky that we have a large family who are happy to have them regularly.

That the difference between having good sleepers and crappy sleeper Soy. No late night or night out is worth the tiredness and shit of the next 48 hours of punishment. The moment mine are asleep we go to sleep we don’t risk wasting a single moment of precious sleep

Look into local food banks I know a lady in b my road only had to prove she was on stage pension to get some help. Is a referral always needed guys??

I know your getting a payment in 16 days but look where you can cut back on bills.

You can get an advance on the first payment can't you? Sort of a loan where they take it back from the future payments ask about this.

Sorry ladies I've done it again and ended up on the wrong post! Please ignore my pp

Single parent here and my children sleep at their dad’s 3 nights per week. (I know I am lucky). We have always tried for as near to 50/50 where possible. The days fits around our work schedules and is so I can go to work though not so I can go out. I’m up at 6am those days. On the odd occasion I want to actually go out on a weekend my mum will have them. She’s single and elderly so does struggle and I always feel like I’m asking permission to go out. She was poorly recently so would have them but I’d collect them around 11pm-midnight. I drive when I go out as I don’t drink. I also feel guilty about going out as they don’t stay with me full time as it is so adding a 3rd place to sleep regularly gets me a bit anxious.

My oldest is 10 1/2. We’ve never had a child a child free night. We don’t have family to help, and to make it harder our middle child has a disability so couldn’t go to just anyone.

Should add that when we were married my youngest slept out twice as an emergency which didn’t go down well and my mum ended up sleeping in her chair all night with dd on her knee. Once was for a funeral and once was when I was taken to hospital in an ambulance. My eldest slept out more often so we could go out every few months until I got pregnant when she was 2 and was house bound with sickness for months on end!! My mum even bought us a voucher for a meal out as a present so she could have DD overnight.

Twice a year if we are lucky x

Never or very very rarely. No grandparents, to ill when DS was small, now no longer with us. I can think of 5 singular occassions when he has stayed at friends he is 12.

At that age never, post 6 or 7 about once or twice a year

7 yo and never.

No grandparents nearby but my sister who lives closer takes my DS3 for a night 2 or 3 times a year.

Eldest getting on for two and a half
and hasn't happened yet. Worried it was too much to ask of elderly/ unwell parents, who already help a lot, and now have a new baby so no chance for a while yet. I slightly regret not taking the opportunity before new baby though.