Phrases you can't stand for no apparent reason

[Thisnamechanger]

I know this comes up fairly often but I feel like we've not had one for a while...

My top ones at present:

Cutesy/cosy phrases used about adults e.g. (spotted on MN) "why were they in the garden at 2am anyway? Surely they'd be tucked up in bed and fast asleep."

Being 'helped to' re. food/drink. e.g. "she helped herself to the last of the champagne"

"tucking in" re. food.

Tabloid favourite here "tipping the scale at".

What makes your brain itch?

Just seen this on another thread.

Wait what

Hate it, it’s so contrived.

Living my best life 🙄 I can’t fucking stand it, even more so with a hashtag. “Eating a curry, living my best life” “taking a crap and telling social media #livingmybestlife”

StyleOfTheTimes
The only people I know who say 'living the best life' are the ones who also spend every few weeks having some crisis or another, a revolving door of new DPs every few months and also post crappy quotes like "If you can't handle me at my worst then you don't deserve me at my best".
In fact (awful as it sounds) the people who post loads about living the best life seem to do nothing but mope around their home town going from one drama to the next

'fixed that for you' Twats

Let Me Google That For You. Yes I can Google too. I just want some recommendations or advice you spunkhoarder.

Came up on another thread I'm on

"It's considered bad form". A truly pompous expression and you can imagine it being said with the nose in the air - and a broom stuck up their arse

Mathematically impossible sayings
“Oh I gave it 110%”
No. No you did not

I know it's been mentioned but can't stand 'lay-in'. No, it's a lie in!

Also, when people confuse 'lose' and 'loose', 'loser' and 'looser'.

'You're a looser' 

YES to giving something 110/200%

And saying hi instead of hello when you're patently English - thinking University Challenge here.

I'm guilty of telling Year 7 DS1 he's going to smash it today and that he's "got this" as he walks out the door to school. in my defence insane cheerleading like this has resulted in him getting out the house half cheerful instead of in a gloomy trudge. Doesn't work with my more cynical youngest! I even taped swivel eyed positive platitudes to the back of the front door featuring all the usual stern commands about making mistakes being BRILLIANT etc

I hate house manifestos in general and wouldn't have a big stencil on a wall ordering us around. IN THIS HOUSE WE FORGIVE PLAY CUDDLE SAY THANK YOU DANCE MAKE MEMORIES CRY DRINK PROSECCO CRY SOME MORE GIN DANCE TAKE TURNS LOVE CRY GIN etc

Gift/regift, 'pair a boot with a jean', 'I'll grab/get one of those' instead of 'Could/May I have one of those', 'I'm good', ´How's you?', air quotes, ´literally', 'actually', 'momentarily', 'awesome!'

Love the bones of you - don't know why this annoys me, maybe I'm just too embittered to appreciate that level of gush.

I keep hearing nuanced - that's starting to grate.

Nurture - when said by people who have little concept of personal space

Spend time in nature i.e. Go outdoors

"drinking hot chocolate"

Specifically in a context of it purporting to be an activity which takes all night, e.g.

"We'll do xyz and then in the evening we'll snuggle and drink hot chocolate"

Takes, what 15mins tops, from boiling the kettle to draining the mug?

It isn't a phrase as such but I hate three and four year olds being referred to as toddlers.

‘And breath’.

You mean breathe.

I hate, and I mean really hate, when people use the word ‘perusing’

What’s wrong with reading? Looking at?

And most people who use it don’t use it in the right context anyway.

It’s worse than apoplectic.

Agree with "supper" it always sounds so affected and smarmy

Veg or veggies

@NowyouareunderMYspell if it's called lunch then why are they called dinner ladies ?

Referring to university as "uni" if you are neither 18 years old and struggling to be cool or appearing in an episode of neighbours.

Referring to a partner as "my other half". It is usually women who do this and not men. I think it irritates me because it speaks of a woman feeling she is inadequate and incomplete without a man.

Also people who write 'discusting' instead of disgusting

And I actually know people who write 'use' instead of you. Not even 'yous' but USE

Agree. said in an affected tone Suuuupa as if the diffident butler brings it

OMFG and powley instead of poorly drives me batty

'I envision' - surely it should be 'envisage' or imagine.

'I have no clue' - I've no idea is better.

Squidgy/squishy - squashy, soft?

Oh dear. We have supper here. I hadn't realised it was a problem.

Agree re 'other half', though. Along with any form of incorrect spelling or grammar.