Phrases you can't stand for no apparent reason

[Thisnamechanger]

I know this comes up fairly often but I feel like we've not had one for a while...

My top ones at present:

Cutesy/cosy phrases used about adults e.g. (spotted on MN) "why were they in the garden at 2am anyway? Surely they'd be tucked up in bed and fast asleep."

Being 'helped to' re. food/drink. e.g. "she helped herself to the last of the champagne"

"tucking in" re. food.

Tabloid favourite here "tipping the scale at".

What makes your brain itch?

Simples
HTH
"As you were"
Nom nom nom
Holibobs
x more sleeps
Of instead of have
Yous

D'ya know what I mean?

Date night. It's so juvenile, but only said by people who are nearer to drawing their pension than getting half fare on the bus.

"Jesus wept" - ugh! I swear people just tack it on to any old thing as half the time its use is a complete nonsense, and the other half of the time it simply offends me eyes.

Do you know what I mean?
It was unreal.

My BIL says it after every single sentence. "I had a sandwich for lunch, do you know what I mean. It was unreal". I might snap one day and tell him we do know what he means and it couldn't be that amazing.

Oh god yes "holibobs", almost as bad as "famalam" shudders

Knocking me sick
Fell pregnant/caught pregnant

Choc

Veg makes me cringe too.

@ALemonyPea yes my friend tags it on the end of the sentence too, do you know what I mean?

maimeo "Are you ok?" While waiting for assistance in a queue ....

Allied to the cashier asking if you have a loyalty card when you have it in your hand and are already visibly moving it towards them.

And:

Telling you to put your PIN in when you are looking at the machine and your finger is ready and poised above the keypad, because their till is fractionally faster than the card machine. We know how these things work!

And:

Asking if you have the receipt when you have put your returning item on the counter and said "I've got the receipt here" as you are quite obviously looking in your purse for it.

Misuse of the word 'Literally'
"I was so angry my head literally exploded"
Argh, no it didn't!! So it didn't 'literally' happen!

Anything being described as ‘fancy’. It makes me want to gouge my own eyeballs out.

Addicting

On accident.

'on point' is wanky bollocks

On pack "follow the instructions on pack"

In branch "apply in branch"

WHY?!

'Crack on.' DH uses this one all the time. I'm not a horse and I don't need whipping!

@ShotsFired I say it like 'puh-jammies'. I hate myself a little for doing it but I can't stop!

"Can I get...?" in a bar or restaurant.
No, I will get it for you.

Aks/ax instead of ask..... I aks you! grrrrrr

Yes I hate”tipping the scale at” (usually a weight much lower than my own )

“Given your head a wobble” makes me unreasonably irritable- wtf does that even mean

People who say “get that monkey off your back” again, WHAT?

Internet forum special: “fast forward to now” why can’t you just say “now” or “recently”

People who refer to a friend/family member etc as”this one”

Making memories ...

Batch cook.

Hot choc, especially when referred to as though it's a treat.

'For all' as in 'new pyjamas for all'

Have never heard these in real life though, only on here.

‘Bring home the bacon’

Absolutely no idea why I hate it, just do. 🤷‍♀️