Phrases you can't stand for no apparent reason

[Thisnamechanger]

I know this comes up fairly often but I feel like we've not had one for a while...

My top ones at present:

Cutesy/cosy phrases used about adults e.g. (spotted on MN) "why were they in the garden at 2am anyway? Surely they'd be tucked up in bed and fast asleep."

Being 'helped to' re. food/drink. e.g. "she helped herself to the last of the champagne"

"tucking in" re. food.

Tabloid favourite here "tipping the scale at".

What makes your brain itch?

wow just wow.
give it my all.
anything over 100%

All guaranteed to make my 28ft of intestines shrink to about a cm.

In one of the fb groups I follow, some people refer to their children as "crotchfruit."

You must be kidding.

Crotchfruit??????? Children?????

That suggests piles to me...

At work "let's park that"

It's not a car. Why not say we'll come back to that later? Or that's a crap idea let's not kid ourselves well revisit this. It's destined for the bin

'Playing devil's advocate', because a former and completely lazy boss said it often.

'You are more than welcome' sounds insincere to me.

'You heard what I said'. How do you know that, exactly?

‘Lay down’/‘lay in’

Play date

People who think it’s socially unacceptable to say ‘moist’. Grow up.

‘I could care less’

My little boy has nystagmus so like everyday I’m asked by total strangers “can he see” i hate that sentence so damn much. Yes he can see. Stop asking

Maybe, just maybe.

I was sat. You mean I was sitting, surely.

People who talk about "my eldest [DC]" and "my youngest [DC]" when they only have two DC. I cannot describe how much this annoys me.

‘ it is what it is’ annoys me and I’m not even sure why.
‘My bad ‘
‘110%’ that isn’t even possible grrrr

I’m going to add the use of “cum” in a non-porn context.
It really jolts me when I occasionally see it on here on a post or a question.
“How do I tell DH his cum has changed? It tastes really rank and it’s putting me off BJs...”
“AIBU? DH doesn’t want another baby and we use condoms as I can’t do HC, but twice now after a night out, he’s cum inside me without putting a condom on...”

Don’t have a problem with other words for it, or people talking about it, just “cum” spelt C-U-M.

Now you’ve made me think of the phrase “A LightDrizzle of cum”. Bleurgh. I need brain bleach.

"Terribly common", is just so smug.

For me it’s cancer. Fighting battle brave fight lost a brave fight

but never is it advances in science.

Unnecessary use of pre - pre-warned, pre-planned.

"Reach out to" - WTF is wrong with "contacted" ?

Phrases which make my brain itch, if not already mentioned:

“Get in my belly” when talking about/looking at food

“I’ve got the munchies

Haven't RTFT but people that use bring and take in the wrong way e.g. "I'm bringing that on holiday" (wrong) instead of "I'm taking that on holiday" (correct). You bring something to where you are.....you take something to where you're going.

'Space' being used instead of room or house."I love how you decorated this space'

'too funny' instead of 'so funny'

'My bad' makes me want to scream

'touch base'

'gotten' instead of 'got' .There is no such word in the english language

“Raising awareness”

Journey, every other person is on a journey now.