I think I've just been fired

[CinnamonVanilla]

Boss found out that I applied for a job with our parent company. Supposed to be anonymous; but I'd have said when it was appropriate. Our HR director beat me to it; in front of a lot of people, apparently.

He took me into a room to say that it was humiliating; and means he no longer trusts me, so how do we move forward. He said my work is excellent but this is a big issue.

He's given me some time to think. Presumably he's expecting my notice this evening. I've been here just under two years so there's nothing I can do.

This has made my anxiety rocket and I don't know want to do.

Deep breaths, you have done nothing wrong.
Do not resign!

It sounds like they are trying to force you into resigning with a hostile work environment and raising your anxiety levels.

Its bullying plan and simple. they know they have no grounds to fire you and so are trying to force your hand! take a moment a re group what you you have in terms of appraisals or positive comments on work you have done? Gather it all together.

Definately write down what you want to say at the meeting and take it with you. lots of good suggestions from PP.

That is shitty but as a PP has said, every day it's delayed is another day closer to the magic 2 years.
Hang in there and try to ignore his childish behaviour

I think he keeps rescheduling as he hasn't got anything more to add and mismanaged this situation.

You’ve done nothing wrong at all. Do not hand your notice in. I’d also be having words with hr about disclosing information you were led to believe was confidential.

As for your boss, carry on as normal. If he approaches you simply say you are sorry he feels he can’t truat you any longer, however you’ve always been an exemplary employee and will continue to perform as such.

This is all very strange. In my previous role they actively encouraged people to apply for roles internally, including at other group companies.

If you did not get the role, they didn't start trying to manage you out, but looked to see if there were other projects they could assign to you or other jobs you could do to extend your skillset and improve your chances next time around. They took the view that it was better to retain talent internally (widely defined to mean the whole group).

When you see your manager I would say that wanting to move on is a positive thing, not a negative one and you are looking for his support, not criticism.

Phone HR right now and request an appointment this afternoon, this is descending into farce.

Go and find and empty meeting room and bullet point all the events of the past few days.

Did you discover the company policy on applying for jobs?

It is not acceptable that your bring arsed around like this.

You don’t have to have a showdown with anyone, but you’ve got the right to discuss things rationally and professionally.

Can you play him at his own game, i.e. find a reason why you can't manage the meeting tomorrow?

I think OP is feeling fragile enough without rescheduling the meeting on her side.

I see that, but there is an advantage in not leaving her manager to control how this plays out and, more materially, there is a distinct advantage in ensuring the meeting happens beyond the two year anniversary of her employment.

I know it's easy to say, but you are really playing into his hands by allowing him to get to you like this. You need to keep reminding yourself that you have done absolutely nothing wrong, and play it on the basis that you really don't know what the fuss is about.

This. And I too appreciate how much easier it is to say than to do. But this is important.

He's fucking you about. The other manager warning you to go home before the meeting and not to sacrifice your health is complicit and colluding, and their behaviour is just as unacceptable as your manager's.

Get a meeting with HR. Write everything down you want to say in case you get flustered. Make sure you include this other manager's 'advice'.

I agree you need to stop allowing your manager to manipulate you like this and take control.

Listen, you applying for a job in the parent co is no reflection on him! That is the first thing he needs to be reminded of and that applying for a new role within the organisation is actually an endorsement of your commitment to the business rather than treachery!

I agree with those saying to go to HR preemptively

How long until you reach 2 years service?

ACAS!! They were an absolute lifesaver for me when I had an issue with my former boss. They can advise you on your rights and what to do, and also take over dialogue with your boss for you if you like.
I worked in hr for years and what he is doing isn't right at all. The isolation/bullying alone is a huge issue and I've used such as gross misconduct in the past. Phone ACAS now and say to your boss via email you want representation in your meeting (are you a union member?). I guarnatee he will swiftly change his attitude if you take formal steps against his behaviour. I successfully claimed against my cocky boss who thought he was untouchable.

If he persists with the chilliness and rearranging a meeting you could consider raising a grievance with hr. Might be worth speaking to them first. Tbh he needs to get over himself.

Ask for meeting to be rescheduled for a time when a representative from HR and/or a union rep can be present.

This is so you do not go into a meeting like this alone. Also it will not let him play cat and mouse re scheduling if that’s what he’s doing.

Also, is this a formal meeting? A disciplinary? An informal chat? You need some idea so you can prepare as necessary. So unprofessional.

m.acas.org.uk

Isn't it breaking gdpr rules, as they've shared information.

I do agree with making sure that there is someone else present at the meeting. Also, I'd strongly suggest you record it - there are several phone apps that let you do that. Recording for your own purposes is perfectly lawful, you don't have to tell anyone first or ask permission.

On hold to ACAS now - he didn't have another meeting; he sat next to me for all the time that we were supposed to be meeting.

He's been oddly nice to me this afternoon, far friendlier than normal; chatting about nothing and asking my opinion. Which would be fine, if it was consistent!

I'll definitely record the meeting on my phone and when he's back from wherever he has wondered off too, I'm going to ask if this is a formal meeting and if I can bring someone to sit in.

HR have offered me a meeting in the morning too; I haven't had to tell them why yet.

You need to put your phone into Airplane mode to make sure any recording isn't interrupted by calls.

It's illegal to share a recording, or transcript of a recording, you have made of someone without their permission. You could also get sued for doing that. You would probably also be in breach of company policy/working guidelines. So don't do it. Don't put yourself in a situation where they can start disciplinary proceedings. Take ACAS advice, not damaging advice from the Net!

You absolutely cannot record the meeting.

You also don’t need to take someone with you if you’re going to have a conversation.

I’m hoping ACAS have you some good advice.

My own is to be prepared with your notes and key objectives of what you want to get out of the meeting.

Meet with HR.

Take your notes and work through them.

Take the stance you are happy with the company (albeit slightly less so at the moment), you want to stay and from what people tell you they think you add value. That you’d like to advance through the company and in future what is the best way to do that.

It really doesn’t have to be adversarial. You’ll get much, much more out of taking the approach that you only wanted to progress and can’t understand the shitstorm.

Keep strong xx