Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god :(

[redwineandcrisps]

I split from ex 2 months ago. He was an arse, he’s very arrogant / superior, and we split for good reason......

So what the fucking fuck possessed me to drink wine and ask him to be my fuck buddy tonight???

And more to the point, how do I ever recover from his answer “absolutely not” with good grace?!??

In my only defence, we have quite a niche sexual pairing (BDSM) and so finding another partner who enjoys that kinda stuff was always going to be tricky. But still. I have to see him every day for kids and I am now mortified 😫

Just say oops sorry that wasn't for you.

Chin up and brazen it out.

I was specific sadly strawberry I planned out my argument and gave examples. I practically made a power point! Arghhhhhhhh!

'Sorry, I text the wrong person!'

Send him a message saying something like 'oh god, how humiliating! I'm so so sorry, that wasn't actually meant for you!'

Oh no! That is totally the kind of thing I would do. No option but to tough it out though I’m afraid! Or say you were joking (that old chestnut!)

I wish I bloody could, I was specific though about things we did / had planned to do.... it was a detailed text. I’m a total twat! Haha!

Hmmm say ok no problem and never mention it again? Can you get a babysitter say you were pissed, your drink was spiked you remember nothing? Your phone's been stolen?

Ah. Oh dear! In that case delete the reminder of your shame and brazen it out. Don't even refer to it ever again and if he does then employ your best tinkly laugh and say 'oh dear, you didn't actually think I was serious did you!?! But how amusing!!!!'

Or move. Continents.

Txt back oops! That was meant for someone else.

Say it was just a test. Failing that, move to Antarctica

Christ yes, pretend you meant to text someone else entirely. Unless you called him or something... in which case brazen it out. Make it unflattering to him- "bloody hell I must have been absolutely hammered if I was drunk enough to proposition you!"

Ohh yes most I like that!

Sorry - Alcohol consumption

I'd say 'oh well, your loss'

Most that’s def my best bet - text tomorrow and say “holy fuck, I must of been so drunk to send that”. I actually say in the message I have no feelings for him any more..... but that doesn’t seem much comfort now! Hang on, I’ll see if I can copy what I sent him without outing myself

Text "lol...wine!" And never mention it again. There's not much else you can do!

I like that too MrsCar he is SO arrogant, it’s annoyed me I have fed straight into that.

Okay.... so don’t discount this until you have really thought about it..... but.... would it be totally mental for us to just have kinky sessions every now and again?!

I swear to you i genuinely don’t feel “that way” about you any more, and I really don’t want to be with you..... but god our sex life was so niche and good, and finding someone who gets that in real life is not likely.

We would need rules, and I am suggesting it because I’m confident I wouldn’t get the feels for you again.... am I mad?!

I’m horny and had wine, which may be completely colouring my opinion of this suggestion! xxx

Ps I keep thinking about rude shit we have done***. there was SO much fun there!! Think about it at least?! xxx

I am actually dying recounting this.....

Another idea is to say that you had already messaged your FB "Bob" or whatever and he was busy so you thought of him instead like a booby prize!

He will be then wondering who the hell "Bob" is....

^^ message I sent him..... there’s no come back i can send is there???

I'd leave it be. I think it's too specific for any follow up to be believable and it'll be too obvious that you're trying to cover it over.

Be the Bigger person; die a bit inside but don't let it show, have an air of not caring about you. This too will pass!

You'll find someone else with the same type of relationship, OP. It's always difficult to lose that particular kind of pairing. But there are tons of us weirdos out here.

And I don't think you did anything wrong. You sound reasonable and not desperate. Just text back saying fair enough your loss and forget him!

sorry but your text made me laugh; but seriously, I would forget about it. You are clear you are drunk and you liked the kink with him, but that you don’t want anything more with him. If he brings it up, just say, yeeees, embarrassing, clearly too much wine... And move on.

And also, if he is a decent guy, he would say no because you had been drinking, so as not to take advantage, iyswim.