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Original poster

Sacrifices you have made as a parent?

146 replies

Babyshark2018 · 01/10/2018 22:28

Since having my daughter 3 months ago there is probably a huge list of changes I have made. Sleep/ hardly going out etc. But recently I have given up caffeine and dairy in the hopes it will help her colic/ reflux issues. It is SO hard! I know that sounds pretty trivial but it’s the little things like a nice cup of coffee that get me through the day.

Today I had decaf tea with almond milk Shock . She’s totally worth it but I can’t get over how much my life has changed.

What have you sacrafised?

OP posts:
ChicagoLil · 02/10/2018 19:17

Forfeiting the right to plop in peace.

Emmafh3 · 02/10/2018 19:24

Would like to add cutting out dairy from your diet doesn't mean your bf milk doesn't have lactose.
You are a mammal and therefore have lactose nomatter what you eat.
At 3 months it might not be an allergy, just a young baby getting to figure out her systems and being uncomfortable with it

Popsicales · 02/10/2018 19:27

I’ve sacrificed a first class degree (just misssd out). Lie ins and time doing nothing. My body is well and truly fucked and I’m only 22. I can’t imagine ever wanting to return to study or get a challenging career.

I also think part of my brain has disintegrated, I am definitely much less intelligent than before I got pregnant with my first Grin

I’ve gained improved mental health, lots more confidence, assertiveness and self-esteem.

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Rigamorph · 02/10/2018 19:29

DS only 5m so not many sacrifices so far (travelled in my late 20's, have steady job and not worried about promotion, never drank much alcohol been de-caff for years). Ask me again in a decade 😁
Was inspired recently by Pamela Druckerman's book 'French children don't throw food'. Although I won't be doing everything she mentions I have definitely learned something about what can be expected of young children. Worth a read.

mycheapshoes · 02/10/2018 19:31

Many of the above but one that stands out was the last slice of fruit loaf I gave to my 2 year old dd when I was pg and had been so so looking forward to!

Bicyclethief · 02/10/2018 19:32

Everything but I would do it an infinite number of times because just his smile is worth it!

Kemer2018 · 02/10/2018 19:34

My mental health. Some days I'd rather die i just want it to stop as my mind never stops. Terrible anxiety.
My body. Hernia. Saggy cow udders. Thinning hair. Lost teeth. 1 size bigger feet.
My income. 5 years of ft income lost. 7 years of pt work. Paying hol childcare. Loss of pension.
It's why i stuck at one.

Strokethefurrywall · 02/10/2018 19:55

I don't know, I'm out of the fog of babies/toddlers so I'll freely admit that I don't think I sacrifice much on a daily basis.

Usually it's food based as DS2 is 4 and basically cherry picks the food he likes the look of off my plate. Which if it's healthy I'm not going to complain about!

DH and I both work full time so I guess there is a little space in my brain that is constantly thinking of them and their lives and what I can do to carve out more time to spend with them and make the time we have more fun - so I guess I've mainly sacrificed headspace to the mental load of having a growing family!

BitchQueen90 · 02/10/2018 20:17

"Freedom" during my youth. Had DS when I was 22.

Not bothered though, I wouldn't change a thing.

QueenofLouisiana · 02/10/2018 20:26

This week:
Sleep- worry about DS’s issues at school
Social life- need to take DS away for his sport this weekend, all weekend
Well-being- a crisis about homework needed support, so no yoga class for me
Money- weekend will cost a fortune
Career- need to leave early for parents eve this week
Sanity- DS is 13, enough said.

megletthesecond · 02/10/2018 20:28

Sleep. Study. Job prospects. Sanity. Social life. Books. TV.

megletthesecond · 02/10/2018 20:29

Oh and pesto. DS is severely allergic to pine nuts.

Notmorewashing · 02/10/2018 20:29

Time to myself!

Exercising.

Mooching arouns... Always feel like I have a timer on that’s counting down in my head.

hiddeneverything · 02/10/2018 20:36

My nice big boobs.

elliejjtiny · 02/10/2018 20:51

Loads of stuff. My body, my career, sleep, leaving the house without a massive bag of stuff, being top priority.

The biggest thing I miss is being ill and being left in peace to recover properly.

nowifi · 02/10/2018 22:35

All of these! Yes to being ill and being able to recover! And agree about always feeling like you're on borrowed time. Don't miss exercise too much though Grin

1sttimeDD · 02/10/2018 23:09

Hot cups of tea!

Zigazagazoo · 02/10/2018 23:17

My business. I returned in August when dd was 3 months old but the damage is done. I’ve lost many clients.

Darkestnight · 02/10/2018 23:19

Most of my life for the last 18 years and more to come.. Dd is disabled so needs regular care and support

Dontfeellikeamillenial · 03/10/2018 00:22

Coherent thought
A waist
Looking polished
Career etc
City breaks
Anxious
damned if I do, damned if I do re: work etc.

Dontfeellikeamillenial · 03/10/2018 00:24

I also think part of my brain has disintegrated, I am definitely much less intelligent than before I got pregnant with my first

^^

This. I'm way dumber than I was before. I just can't think straight a lot of the time Confused

megletthesecond · 03/10/2018 07:06

Another one. Early bedtimes. Pre-DC's I'd go to bed at 7 if I was tired. And tbh when mine were toddlers I did manage it occasionally. But since they've started school and stay up a bit later I never get to bed until late. I'm in bed for 10 if I'm lucky. I hate dragging myself through the evenings getting them to bed, tidying and organising stuff for tomorrow when I can hardly think.

KawaiiUnicorn · 03/10/2018 07:55

Everything! I had my eldest when I was young. Never experienced grown-up life without kids. I had been thinking a lot about what my life would have been like if I’d had more time. Would I have traveled? Gone to uni, got a career? I feel I have some identity issues as I am nothing but a mother/partner. But I’m now expecting kiddo number 4 and have given up, I’m a mummy and that’s pretty much it. What I miss most is sleep, haven’t slept in years! That and 2 minutes peace, I don’t have a moment to think. Plus bodies wrecked, bf second baba till he was 2, serious saggy boobs, plus I feel fat, mental health isn’t what it used to be either. Several friendships and a few relationships have suffered. It’s strange as one paper it seems I should regret it all but I don’t. This is life with kids.

Only after having my first did I understand what my mother sacrificed for me. I remember being on the phone with her getting emotional and saying sorry soon after first baba was born.

Satsumaeater · 03/10/2018 08:55

I think mainly money. Kids are really expensive even without nursery fees or private school fees.

Having to miss parkrun for Saturday football matches, grrrr. At least that all ended a few years ago and he does athletics now! Now I only have to miss parkrun a few times a year when he has a race.

Not being able to do things because they are in term-time and you can't go to them, especially if overseas.

Fortunately my ds was a good sleeper so I didn't have to sacrifice that.

Satsumaeater · 03/10/2018 08:56

You can still have a career and city breaks with kids. Even young kids. For example, we went to Vienna and to Dubrovnik when ds was 4.