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Original poster

Sacrifices you have made as a parent?

146 replies

Babyshark2018 · 01/10/2018 22:28

Since having my daughter 3 months ago there is probably a huge list of changes I have made. Sleep/ hardly going out etc. But recently I have given up caffeine and dairy in the hopes it will help her colic/ reflux issues. It is SO hard! I know that sounds pretty trivial but it’s the little things like a nice cup of coffee that get me through the day.

Today I had decaf tea with almond milk Shock . She’s totally worth it but I can’t get over how much my life has changed.

What have you sacrafised?

OP posts:
AhAgain · 01/10/2018 22:56

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Original poster
Babyshark2018 · 01/10/2018 22:58

Ooo thanks for the tip catlickingtail Grin I tried almond and soy- both pretty awful!

OP posts:
PurpleWithRed · 01/10/2018 22:58

My vagina.

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formerbabe · 01/10/2018 23:00

Everything! I feel guilty every time I do anything for myself!

Original poster
Babyshark2018 · 01/10/2018 23:03

Yes formerbabe Mum guilt is horrendous. I think that’s the worst thing about having a child tbh.

OP posts:
puppymouse · 01/10/2018 23:05

Not masses but the biggest sacrifice has been my career I think. I am overtaken constantly by managers younger than me and I'm not seeing any changes to my grade or pay any time soon thanks to being part time and 14 months off. DH however was promoted just as I returned to work after mat leave 👍🏼

I can't complain though as I get more than my fair share of me time thanks to my time consuming hobby which DH enables me to have. It's just irritating to book all your annual leave on school holidays and not be able to have days to yourself like you would have done before being a parent.

creamcheeseandlox · 01/10/2018 23:08

My mental health. Have always been an angsty person but had Pnd x 2 with both dc. And it's definitely changed me as a person. I now suffer from anxiety and my depression relapses every so often. Sad

weegiemum · 02/10/2018 00:12

My left kidney (not even joking!)

KoshaMangsho · 02/10/2018 00:16

For DH: his sex life, peace and quiet, sleep, no lie ins, his career. In that order.
For me: my body (absent pelvic floor, boobs droop and 14 months of breastfeeding x 2 means that my body wasn’t always my own) my career, headspace and sanity, freedom, sleep in that order.

(The order is based on what we have sacrificed most to least).

GoodbyeSummer · 02/10/2018 00:21

My savings. My career and, with it, any chance of buying a house. My mental health.

NickyNora · 02/10/2018 00:25

29 years of parenting... my mind!!

Gettingbackonmyfeet · 02/10/2018 07:44

That's a very fair point a pp made above I wouldn't ever dream of telling my DC I had made any kind of sacrifice..it was entirely my choice and I'd do it again in a heartbeat

But no it's never ok to tell your DC and they certainly should never feel grateful to exist

Sorry you had to hear that rebecca

Camomila · 02/10/2018 08:22

Sleep, nights out, my youthful looking face, probably some brains...

DH gave up London and no lives outsidw of the M25 Shock There are no kebabs in walking distance!

ThursdayLastWeek · 02/10/2018 08:28

Not much really, I was never going to be a high flyer so giving up my job doesn’t count.

I was ready to stop going out so much anyway, and now I really enjoy when I do.

DH & I both work at home so we still see each other. He’s not a dick so I have time to do stuff for myself, mostly exercise.

If I’d had to give up dairy I’d feel very differently...or perhaps I would have just stopped BFing Grin

Spanglyprincess1 · 02/10/2018 08:35

One of the reasons I waited until mid thirties to have my baby was ebcause I wanted my life first....but boy it's hard!
He's three months old and soo far I've sarcaficed sleep, eat hot food (always wakes up , I swear he smells it), cleanliness (me not him), money, area I live in (moving for school catchments) and all my free time/hobbies and yes job (sort of).

In answer to someone comments my dp sacraficed all his life savings (court for acess and settlement), all his free time, money and tbh sanity plus quite a lot of sleep over the years! It's not just us ladies :)

Topseyt · 02/10/2018 08:44

My body, my career and earning power, my freedom for many years and, almost, my marriage.

I am not remotely joking.

We are out on the other side now and the youngest is 16, so almost grown up now.

I wouldn't change any of them and am so glad I had them, but bloody hell it was tough going at times.

sittingonacornflake · 02/10/2018 08:51

I am pleased to be able to say that I sacrificed my relationship with now ex DP. Because having a child with him made me realise what a monumental selfish cock he is. Thank you DS for coming into my life and opening my eyes to that!

BlackBeltInChildWrangling · 02/10/2018 08:55

It is not an exaggeration to say 'absolutely everything', (about 16 years parenting so far).

TomHardysNextWife · 02/10/2018 09:00

You need Oatly Barista in your life OP. It's so lovely, and great in tea and coffee... doesn't split like a lot of them do. Chamomile tea is very nice, and green tea with lemon if you really can't bear the non diary.

My youngest granddaughter had reflux and I don't know how DD coped for the 1st 7 months, it was horrendous. I used to walk past their house on my morning dog walk and grab DGD in a sling and walk round the fields miles from anywhere for an hour with her yelling her lungs out just so DD had a break from it. Oddly enough she was diagnosed with coeliac disease at 18 months (older sibling has it too) and DD is now convinced it was her eating wheat that caused the issue but there was no way of knowing of course of the root cause. I hope it all gets better soon for you both Flowers.

PepperSteaks · 02/10/2018 09:02

I don’t think I’ve sacrificed that much. My body is back to what it was and I have never had boobs so I’m not fussed about them. I still do pretty much whatever I want whenever I want just take DD with me or DH or family have her. I’ve still got my dream job which I enjoy more now as it’s a novelty rather than a chore. Even going to the supermarket is more fun because I have DD with me.
Hope this doesn’t read as goady Blush

Original poster
Babyshark2018 · 02/10/2018 09:07

I think I will need to add sleep to this. She’s been great until now but basically had me up from 2.30am last night.

DH has made sacrifices too to be fair. He’s not done any of his running/ triathlon stuff for ages because I need him in the evening. Exercise is important to him so I do feel bad that he’s had to stop for now! We can’t eat together now but at weekends and evenings he lets me eat first. I live for the weekend. Smile

OP posts:
Silversun83 · 02/10/2018 09:29

Sleep, mental headspace, relationships, running, just slobbing in front of the TV, a clean and tidy house, relaxing and adventurous holidays, self-appearance... Just off the top of my head Grin

DCs are only two and six-months though so hoping I'll get some of those back at some point...?!

Silversun83 · 02/10/2018 09:30

Oh and savings... Not having to worry about money..

Seniorschoolmum · 02/10/2018 09:40

The ability to do an international job, £30k a year, social life,

But I’ve hung on to a UK based career, my soft top car, my house and singledom ( although that last one was not down to me).

I gave up alcohol for 3 years when ds was on the way but I just couldn’t give up coffee. Smile

Missedmoments · 02/10/2018 10:45

17 years in and absolutely everything about my life has changed. It’s shocking really.