V high earning ex. Reasonable maintenance?

[Notsohorriblehistory]

Regular for 8 years but name changed in case ex may identify. We get on very well and I don’t want to rock the boat.

Our divorce is done and dusted over a year ago. It was amicable and straightforward. We kept his pensions and I kept equity in our house as a pension expert report concluded that almost equal.

So, maintenance. I have to work after our first child 8 years ago. I was 28 and on £50k and progressing well, so would likely be high earning now. I will return to work next week. Part time. Pro rata salary £17000 (working 3 days), so decent but quite a fall from where j was (and rightfully so!).

Anyway, ex is on £152k plus £60k bonus. In early forties so salary likely to increase significantly. His monthly take home pay after pension contributions is about £7.2k

He pays me £2300 a month. This is to cover absolutely everything. Mortgage (£850), children, life. Everything. He has the children 3 nights a month. He will pay this until our youngest is 18 (12 years away). We have two children.

Thoughts?

I thought ok. My solicitor thought ok.

But friends think I have been utterly taken advantage of.

Thanks

I agree with your friends that the amount he pays seems very low for someone on his income. However if you are happy with it, then that is what counts.

Seeing his children only 3 nights a month is shocking.

Yes, it’s about that linky

For the last 16 months since divorce I have not worked and same maintenance

I have been careful but it’s been very doable. With CB on top of that and some CTC.

It’s jusy a pain to see him always taking the children out for lunches and treats etc.

I do too, but it’s a special event rather than a run of the mill - oh let’s go to wagamamas for lunch kind of things

Can you get tax credits?

How many years left on the mortgage?

I’m confused. You are divorced, finances are normally settled before the absolute is issued. Do you have a consent order? If yes, then you have settled your finances.

Go through the CMS calculator for the children.

He gives you £2,300 per month (which is tax and NI free) - that would equate to a salary of £36k per year (taking tax and NI off). On top of that you’ll earn £17k working only 3 days and will be in receipt of benefits and child benefit. Your ‘take home’ income would be at least £50k a year. You’re not doing too badly, working only 3 days.

Women are expected to fund themselves now. Maintenance is based on needs, not wants. I think you are doing ok.

Will he be paying private secondary fees or anything towards uni? Personally I would want more & in general think the statutory % is low.

Finances are settled

18 years on mortgage

No private schooling so no fees

Re uni it was agreed that we would just discuss at the time. There has absolutely no way he would not help them and support them. He’s a very good parent. And I trust him.

I guess that by the time youngest is 18 you could work full time or be earning more? That would be my fear, losing the £2300 but still paying the £850 mortgage.

I'm with Northern spirit. If you take into account the earnings from your part time job it sounds better.

Will he be taking the children on holiday regularly and paying for that?
What about education in the future?

Why is he only seeing them three times a month - does he work overseas?

I reckon by time youngest 18 (12 years time) I would certainly hope and envisage that I’m on decent enough salary to pay mortgage, which should only have 6 or years left

tbf what you have currently should allow for holidays & the occasional wagamama.

Thank you all btw

Yes linky, which it does, as I said.

Sorry I misread who took them to Wagamamas

I think you are getting plenty enough money. Your friends are being greedy

I’d ideally want approx £500 more a month as that would make the difference for some little extras but you say he’s a good person & will look after your children so that’s reassuring.

Given that he is paying significantly over csa I wouldn't say a word. But what I would do is try my damdest to overpay on the mortgage, increase your equity as much as possible and try to reduce the term slightly every time it needs renewing.

I'd want the mortgage gone by the time your youngest is 18 so that you are in a stronger position. Even £50 a month would make a huge difference.

I do think it's crappy that you have to budget really carefully and he gets to show them an amazing life full of fancy dinners and days out on his three days a month.

I would also be prepared for it to drop to CSA minimum if he gets a girlfriend.

Yes linky I agree I think extra £500 would be fair but I think fact he is a good honest man, reasonable ex and loving supportive Father means I won’t rock boat as that is what we agreed through formal legal channel.

My friends see the figure and, fairly reasonably, considered it unfair. Especially as they’re not objective. They are my dear old friends. They didn’t bad mouth my ex but they were surprised

maintenance isnt the issue. His lack of parenting is.

Also you really must work on paying off as much of your mortgage as you can before maintenance stops.

C0untDucku1a

his lack of parenting

Unfair. That is only for me to have a true opinion on. Certainly not you and I have given no information re his parenting.

He has the 3 nights a month.

Works out to be one weekend Friday and Saturday

Then two weeks later one Saturday.

He see them during the week too. Just not overnight.

His commute is 3 hours round and very long hours. That situation has meant we have lived a very very comfortable life and now I am able to live a comfortable life having divorced him

The point is your lives are not equal now. He has far far more disposable income than you do, and is doing basically no parenting. That's how it isn't fair. Can't really believe your solicitor agreed it.

Is he at least going to fully pay off the mortgage and are you going to own the house yourself at the end of that?