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Original poster

The saddest thing I've ever heard

120 replies

Oddcat · 16/09/2018 20:55

My mum is 84 , I was visiting the other day and in a lull in conversation she said very quietly ' I miss my mum so much' . Her mum died more than 40 years ago , my heart broke for her .

OP posts:
Onceuponatime21 · 16/09/2018 20:58

Ah, that's so sad. Do you talk to her about her mum? Can you do any family history stuff for her?

Tidy2018 · 16/09/2018 20:59

That is sad, Oddcat. Hugs. My mum was very frail in her finalyears, and when she had two mercifully short stays in hospital she would dream that her mum was looking after her.

Sorry if this is too sad for you.

Got a lump in my throat thinking about it.

SandysMam · 16/09/2018 20:59

Ah that is really sad! But I think I will feel the same at 84 Sad
You only get one mum. I was pretty young when she died, would have loved her to have known me as an adult. Talk about her mum with her OP, find photos if you can, bring the memories to life for her.

Saggital · 16/09/2018 21:01

But it's also great she misses her.

Original poster
Oddcat · 16/09/2018 21:01

My mum has always been my mum (obviously) I forget that she was a daughter too . We had all the old photos out , it was such a bitter sweet day .

OP posts:
Original poster
Oddcat · 16/09/2018 21:10

Sandysmam Flowers

OP posts:
Awwlookatmybabyspider · 16/09/2018 21:10

Oh bless her. You never stop missing your mum. Well as your mum has shown.
People with the best of intentions lie to you when they say. "It gets easier"

Original poster
Oddcat · 16/09/2018 21:11

Sorry if this is too sad for you.

Not at all , quite comforting, my mum is an only child and was close to her mum .

OP posts:
JustHereForThePooStories · 16/09/2018 21:14

When my MIL was deteriorating very quickly with an aggressive illness, she constantly spoke to her mother. She wasn’t cognitive of it. It was harrowing.

CorporeSarnie · 16/09/2018 21:15

I lost my mum this week. I have to be honest and say I'm glad that with all the distance and difficulties we had, our relationship was good, and I miss her terribly. My mother's relationship with her own mother was way more conflicted.

Namethecat · 16/09/2018 21:17

When my mum lost her mother she sadly said " I'm an orphan now " . Sadly I can now say the same.

MissTulipan · 16/09/2018 21:18

I’ve had a really tough day being a mum today with my child pushing all the boundaries and this thread has made me weep.

I can’t imagine my mum not being around but the older I get I know it will happen. It’s very true that we forget sometimes that our parents were/are children too. My MIL misses her mother a lot and often mentions it.

Sounds like you had a lovely day with your mum.

Original poster
Oddcat · 16/09/2018 21:18

CorporeSarnie , I'm so sorry about your mum .

My relationship with my DD 20 is difficult, I wish we were closer .

OP posts:
Elzbells · 16/09/2018 21:19

I don't remember my nan very much as I was 10 when she died but I do remember vividly her telling us when we visited her dying in hospital that her mummy was waiting for her and she couldn't wait to see her again.

Original poster
Oddcat · 16/09/2018 21:20

namethecat Flowers

OP posts:
PierreBezukov · 16/09/2018 21:20

Got a lump in my throat reading this thread.

It is very sad OP but it is also bittersweet. I know I will feel the same about my mum.

UterusUterusGhali · 16/09/2018 21:20

Ach, poostory that's horrible.

A colleague told me recently about visiting her mum in a care home and an elderly lady was crying for her mum the whole time. It makes you realise how bloody important it is that we get it right. The primary care bond sticks with you for ever. The thought that my DC might have bad memories of me when I was very unwell etc recently just floored me. :(

Original poster
Oddcat · 16/09/2018 21:23

UterusUterusGhali I'm sure as your children get older , they will understand.

OP posts:
itsalldyingout · 16/09/2018 21:27

My mum's been gone 25 years now.

I miss her every day.

DorothyGarrod · 16/09/2018 21:27

I had a very morbid thought the other day that if life goes as it should then I won’t be there at the end for my DC. It made me feel sad as I would want to comfort them and take care of them always but I know that of course they should outlive me. Poignant thread, OP.

confusedandemployed · 16/09/2018 21:30

In 3 years time I will have been alive without my mum for as long as I was with her. And it only feels like she was here last week. I dreamt about her the other day.

OP that is desperately sad but, in a way, beautiful.

Nanna50 · 16/09/2018 21:32

I miss my mother and it sometimes chokes me when I look at my children and grandchildren and know that one day they will live without me.

Lucy001 · 16/09/2018 21:32

I wouldn't dream of thinking about missing my mum, and don't want to see her for a very long time. Not on account of any bad feeling, but.... When my mum died, the week before she died she saw her Nan (who raised her)... Gran saw her mum the week before she died ... Great grandmother saw - you get the idea? It's reputed there's fey in the family. Whatever, I'd prefer my mum to stay where she is for a long time yet!!!

Petalflowers · 16/09/2018 21:33

How sadFlowers for you and your mum.

TheFrendo · 16/09/2018 21:34

That is not sad, it is wonderful. It is wonderful that your mum loved hers so much.