Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

The saddest thing I've ever heard

120 replies

Oddcat · 16/09/2018 20:55

My mum is 84 , I was visiting the other day and in a lull in conversation she said very quietly ' I miss my mum so much' . Her mum died more than 40 years ago , my heart broke for her .

OP posts:
Willow2017 · 16/09/2018 22:07

My mum has been gone 14 years now and i still miss her.
Things are a bit crap right now and i am.beyond stressed and when i go to bed and have a cry its her i want to tell me i will get through this just as i have got through other stuff. I would just like to feel her arms round me one more time.

I dont think losing your mum (or dad) ever gets any easier no matter how old you are.
Glad you and your mum.had a chance to talk and go through memories together op.

Sadoldbagpuss · 16/09/2018 22:08

I lost my mum last week, I'm in actual physical pain Sad

AsAProfessionalFekko · 16/09/2018 22:08

Dad always really missed his dad and he died about 40 years before he did. I still really miss my mum (I was just thinking this today) after 11 years and dad after 16 years.

BastardGoDarkly · 16/09/2018 22:12

I remember watching a murder documentary, about a homeless man, who was being kicked to death. He was calling out for his Dad , he was 67 at the time of his death Sad

Anastassiabeaverhausen · 16/09/2018 22:14

@Sadoldbagpuss hugs to you Thanks

Original poster
Oddcat · 16/09/2018 22:14

It's funny that people can tell you things will be ok , but it's not quite the same as when your mum says it.

I'm so sorry if I've upset anyone with this thread.

OP posts:
jasjas1973 · 16/09/2018 22:17

My Mum died 2 years ago, i'll always miss her and wish i'd been better behaved as a teenager.

A few days before my mum died, she repeated how much her Dad meant to her, he died over 45 years ago.

She told me the story of when as an 18yo getting on the train to London, to start her nursing course, this hardened military man cried as they hugged goodbye.
, history repeating
My daughter is 18 and has just gone off to Uni, we both cried.

WilburIsSomePig · 16/09/2018 22:18

9 years since I lost both my parents. I miss them so much and think about them every day. I'll never stop missing them, but I feel lucky that I had such fantastic parents.

Sadoldbagpuss · 16/09/2018 22:19

Thank you. Actually comforting reading this, knowing I'm not alone xx

Penfold007 · 16/09/2018 22:24

@Sadoldbagpuss offering you a very un MumsNet hug. I'm so very sorry for your loss.

LuckyDiamond · 16/09/2018 22:24

I drove my Gran past the area her parents stayed. She was in her early 90s and asked me if they still stayed there. She was having a delirium episode. It hurt my heart to tell her her parents were no longer with us.

Original poster
Oddcat · 16/09/2018 22:25

Forget world leaders , a mother is the most powerful person on the planet , I certainly underestimated the influence they have , until I had a child .

OP posts:
Degustibusnonestdisputandem1 · 16/09/2018 22:27

Oh that is so sad. I cherish the stories my grandparents and great grandparents told me, and will tell my DTDs as they grow. Ancient Egyptian culture suggested that saying ancestors names caused them to "live" again x

PollyFlinderz · 16/09/2018 22:28

Im 60 now and I lost my mum 20 years ago when she was 58. I miss her to this day and its just yesterday I said to my eldest daughter that I had the best mum in the world.

To everyone missing there mums, especially those who've lost their mum recently., you're in our thoughts and Im so sorry for you loss.

Time40 · 16/09/2018 22:30

My mum died eight years ago, and every few months I have a moment, just a fraction of second, when I forget, and think she's still alive. And then I remember. I had one today. They're awful.

UniversalAunt · 16/09/2018 22:30

My mum died just over five years ago & although I carry her adoring love of me in my heart, I have pangs of pure loss which pass as I give time & thought to her memory.

Never the same as hug from your mum, but sending auntie hugs to you all. Flowers

Beamur · 16/09/2018 22:32

My Mum died 3 years ago, I'm past the stage of feeling that visceral pain (know exactly what you mean Sadoldbagpuss Flowers) but I think about her every day.
Towards the end she was very unwell and confused and thought I was her Mum, this upset me a lot, but our Dr had worked a lot in hospices and he commented that at this time a patient, however confused will often remember their first care giver - I.e. Their Mum and associate it with feeling cared for and safe.

Original poster
Oddcat · 16/09/2018 22:34

That's comforting Beamur

OP posts:
Namethecat · 16/09/2018 22:38

I read this sentence once about carrying on once you had lost your mother and it's always stuck with me.
Life will go on, but in a different way.

iogo · 16/09/2018 22:39

Flowers to you all.

7 and a half years since my mum died and it still takes my breath away how much I miss her. She's in my thoughts every single day. I'll still feel like this when I'm 84 (I'm 41). She was born to be a grandma and I'm so bitter that my children lost out on her (they are 14 and 10 now).

ButchyRestingFace · 16/09/2018 22:40

My mum died suddenly last year, when I was 38. If I live until I'm 200, I'll feel the same as your mum. Flowers

Elephant14 · 16/09/2018 22:44

Oddcat this is a good thread - sometimes these terribly painful things have to be said and its Mumsnet at its best when we can all say it. My mum died nearly 43 years ago and do actually miss her much more, now I am in my 50s - it was having my own kids that made it worse. I also bitterly regret not knowing her - I was only 13 when she died, she was 54, she'd lived a whole life that I knew so little about but also I struggle to remember her sometimes.

I remember sitting in the doctor's surgery one day when DD was little and I sat with an elderly gent called Mr Pin Chin, I know because he told me over and over again that he wasn't a Chinaman (it was of its time excuse me repeating the old guy's words) and that in the first war, men cried out for their mothers as they died. Then he said he missed his mum terribly and that she was very hard - apparently she'd bathe her DCs in a tin bath by the fire and dry them and if in this process any child breathed on her by mistake she'd bite their nose. I have to say none of that sounded particularly loving but at what was I presume the near end of his life he remembered her dearly every night. He said she'd always tuck him in and say good night god bless as was common years ago, and he missed it so much.

llangennith · 16/09/2018 22:48

Brought tears to my eyes. I'm 66 and our mum was horrible but there are times when I think 'I miss my mum'. If you've had a lovely mum you'd never stop missing her. So sad.

MinecraftMother · 16/09/2018 22:50

That is sad x

Original poster
Oddcat · 16/09/2018 22:51

It's difficult being a parent and I'm sure we all worry about being good enough but I really think hope that our children will forgive our shortcomings and love us regardless . My mum has never been overly emotional and there are many things that I haven't shared with her , but I have always felt secure and loved , it's just an unspoken bond .

OP posts: