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Original poster

DS (15) helps with a Brownie pack for his DofE award. Do you think this is a bit odd?

111 replies

ScottishG · 15/09/2018 23:26

DS is 15. Since the beginning of the year he's been helping with a Brownie group for his bronze and silver Duke of Edinburgh award. He really enjoys it and seems to get stuck in with the activities and enjoys getting to know the girls. The leader is a work friend of mine.
I thought nothing of it, in fact I thought it was a good idea, particularly as DS is interested in becoming a paediatrician.
However, my mum seems to think it's a bit weird and has been asking if any of the parents have complained about the girls having a male helper. She can be a bit conservative in her views but it got me thinking. What would you think if a 15 year old boy was helping out at your dd's Brownie group?

OP posts:
AdventuringThroughLife · 15/09/2018 23:27

Id think it very odd tbh. Its all female helpers at my girls' rainbows and brownies and part of the attraction is the all girl environment.

Why didnt he help with cubs?

haggisaggis · 15/09/2018 23:30

My dd has helped out at Beavers for the past 2 years. She’s 16 now. Why would that be different?

pinkpetrol · 15/09/2018 23:31

It's fine. As long as he has done safer space 1&2 he can come and help at any Brownies. Guides would be different as they would have crushes and probably sap his will to live. Ignore your Mum its the 21st century.

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15 year olds
AdventuringThroughLife · 15/09/2018 23:32

Haggis - because beavers is mixed and brownies is single sex?

Ohyesiam · 15/09/2018 23:33

No, unless he’s planning on becoming a paediatrician to only boys.

Original poster
ScottishG · 15/09/2018 23:34

Didn't help at cubs because I had a contact and could easily help him arrange the volunteering.

OP posts:
MarcieBlue · 15/09/2018 23:34

What about the girls in scouts. When I was in scouts I got with my leader. Sounds dodgey now...

Mrsfrumble · 15/09/2018 23:34

It wouldn't bother me. Our regular babysitter is the son of a friend and was 15 when he started sitting for us. He's brilliant with small children and DD absolutely adores him.

Presumably non of the parents have complained?

Labradoodliedoodoo · 15/09/2018 23:39

Positive role model for the girls and probably very good for his communication skills.

Original poster
ScottishG · 15/09/2018 23:39

Not that I'm aware of Mrs Frumble.

OP posts:
BewareOfDragons · 15/09/2018 23:43

Ugh.

Stop buying into your mother's stupidity.

This is why men are reluctant to teach in primary schools, work with children, etc ... because of pervasive shit like this!

AdventuringThroughLife · 15/09/2018 23:46

Really Beware? Id have no problem with a teenage boy babysitting my girls or helping with them at school or if they were in a mixed club somewhere. However there are so few single sex environments that that is part of the appeal of the guiding movement.

Original poster
ScottishG · 15/09/2018 23:48

Dragons - the comments from my mum did make me cross that women have been leading beaver and cub groups for years, well before girls started joining, and yet a male helping at an all female brownie group is regarded as odd.

OP posts:
Bluecloudyskies · 15/09/2018 23:48

But why though? If you have a predominately female space - why try and shoe horn males in there?

There must have been so many other clubs he could have joined

Bluecloudyskies · 15/09/2018 23:50

Honestly - what’s really so wrong with having female only spaces ?

AdventuringThroughLife · 15/09/2018 23:52

Blue skies - exactly.

IfIWasABirdIdFlyIn2ACeilingFan · 15/09/2018 23:53

Brownies is specifically single sex for a reason. That shouldn’t be dismissed because a Male needs to get a tick on a chart or fancies a hobby. There are loads of places he could get his requirements for DofE and experience with children without encroaching on a single sex space.

IfIWasABirdIdFlyIn2ACeilingFan · 15/09/2018 23:53

And I’m saying this as the mother of only boys.

BestZebbie · 15/09/2018 23:54

I helped at Brownies when I was 15, it was a really usual thing to do - the Young Leader guidance for community service suggests Brownies or Rainbows rather than Guides so the age difference lets you have a chance of some authority over them.
I don't think it is particularly different for a boy - even a girl wouldn't ever be helping dress them or sleeping next to them on camp etc, teen helpers are kept distinct from adult leaders and from the girls.

Original poster
ScottishG · 15/09/2018 23:55

What is that reason ifiwasabird?

OP posts:
AdventuringThroughLife · 15/09/2018 23:55

Best you dont see a difference in power dynamics of a boy "having authority" over the girls and a fellow female?

SponsoredFred · 15/09/2018 23:56

I wish he wouldnt. I wish girls could have female only spaces. I took dd2 to Brownie specifically so she would have a female only club

IfIWasABirdIdFlyIn2ACeilingFan · 15/09/2018 23:56

To provide girls a space to experience the activities separate from boys. Obviously.

greenlynx · 16/09/2018 00:04

I would see this as strange.
Isn’t brownies a group for girls only?

Floralnomad · 16/09/2018 00:09

I can’t see the issue with , it fair enough it’s an all girls activity but your ds helping is no different to a dad helping out at a brownie or rainbows group that had to use a parent rota in order to run , which many packs do .

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