DS (15) helps with a Brownie pack for his DofE award. Do you think this is a bit odd?

[ScottishG]

DS is 15. Since the beginning of the year he's been helping with a Brownie group for his bronze and silver Duke of Edinburgh award. He really enjoys it and seems to get stuck in with the activities and enjoys getting to know the girls. The leader is a work friend of mine.
I thought nothing of it, in fact I thought it was a good idea, particularly as DS is interested in becoming a paediatrician.
However, my mum seems to think it's a bit weird and has been asking if any of the parents have complained about the girls having a male helper. She can be a bit conservative in her views but it got me thinking. What would you think if a 15 year old boy was helping out at your dd's Brownie group?

I dont think it is weird as such but I do think that brownies, guides etc should be run by females for females.

scottish what is wrong with a female only space? Tbh I think you already know why. Has he always been interested in female/girls activities ?

To help me understand a bit more can someone please explain how my ds is going to be problematic for the girls? His role seems to be to help out with the activities, help set up and tidy up and he enjoys chatting with them when helping with whatever they are doing.

Bkuecloudy - in these enlightened times I'm surprised you are referring to "girl/female" activities. What on earth are you talking about? Activities I'm aware he has helped with include, craft, map reading/route finding, investigating other cultures, food tasting, pancake making, water fights, Brownie sports evening. As far as I am aware these are activities enjoyed by many 7to 10 year olds, regardless of their gender.

A GF?

Some clubs are primary set up to nourish and encourage young females. There’s plenty of other clubs your son can join

these enlightened times I'm surprised you are referring to "girl/female" activities.

Brownies. Obviously.

Personally I'd think nothing off it. Esp in the circumstances he wants experience working with kids, and your friend runs the Brownies therefore it's a fairly logical reason why he ended up helping there. Sometimes in this world it's not what you know but who you
Know that opens door. Rather than chapping the door of scouts / cubs / beavers who might not want somebody they don't know volunteering.

I can see the logic in female spaces, girls getting a chance to do girly things without boys taking over or ridiculing but he's there as an assistant leader not a peer to the girls. Would parents who spend the cash to send their girls to all girl schools object to a male teacher?
As long as all safe guarding rules are kept in place (never on his own with girls etc) as much to protect him as the girls I really don't see the issue.

Sorry, rest of quote What on earth are you talking about?

Hmm. This is tricky. Guides, Brownies and Rainbows decided to stay single sex when given the option of going mixed like Beavers, Cubs and Scouts because, among other reasons, there are girls who would not be allowed for religious or family reasons to join a mixed sex organization. So no, I don’t think he should be helping with Brownies-. Not because there is anything odd about him wanting to work with girl children, but because I think the single sex nature of the Guiding movement is important

Your son tried to join a net ball team and got knocked back

Your son is now trying to join brownies as leadership

There’s a pattern emerging there...

I think it's great. Good for him

Yes, good for any male who inserts himself into female only spaces. 😐

The volunteering side of Girlguiding is not female only. The youth membership is. There is a difference. My male DP has been a Unit Helper at Brownies for nearly 5 years. For many of our girls, he is the only positive male role model in their life, and we haven’t had a single complaint or worry from a parent about him being there. I’ve been a leader for over 10 years and have seen no change in the behaviour of the Brownies since he’s been volunteering. The girl-only space is important for the girls as they behave very differently when they are around male peers. Having a 15 year old male helping at Brownies will not change their behaviour as he isn’t a peer for them! If he was helping at Guides, it would be a different story. I really don’t get why anyone would have a problem with it.

It’s not that there are specific ‘girl’ activities. Girls can and should be doing a variety of activities. It’s that the single sex environment in and of itself is positive for girls to do those activities in.

There are so vanishingly few girl only spaces and even those are under threat. I also have only boys and I’d be encouraging him to understand WHY single sex provision is important and do something else.

in these enlightened times I'm surprised you are referring to "girl/female" activities.

A 'girls only' activity is Brownies, surely?

Well, apart from your son.

However, it sounds like you have some sort of bizarre form for starting threads like these.

Its not that there are 'female only activities'...its that we want to preserve FEMALE ONLY ENVIRONMENTS. Good for you if you have never needed the comfort of such a group...but also sad for you, if you have never known it, too. Its not really debatable, the benefits of female only envirknments for girls, is well known and evidenced. It is qhy girls do so much better in single sex education (boys do worse)

Personally, i took my dd to brownies because she was being bullied by a group of boys in her class, to the point of quite severe psychological response. She was iff school for months and medicated. She developed PTSD symptoms, had panic attacks and was suicidal. Aged 6. I couldnt get her to leave the house during all of this. So, Brownies was a life-line for her rrally. If your son had been there, she wouldnt have gone.

I dont think it is necessarily weird that your son seeks out female social groups. I think its damn weird that you as his parent dont explain the importance of female only spaces to females and how he needs to stop trying to insert himself

My husband helped out at brownies as did a number of other dads after him. It was on an evening when i was at college.
I wouldnt bat an eyelid at a 15 year old boy helping out. In fact i would like it.

I really can’t see a problem here. He sounds lovely.

Guiding is only open to girls and women. Only they can be members or make their promise as leaders.
Males can be unit helpers, but not leaders.
When asked, Guides and leaders have always chosen to stay "girls only".
Oh, and we absolutely don't just do "girly stuff" - we do everything the scouts do and more.

After saying all that - while I don't have a problem with an adult male being a helper occasionally- Guiding IS a girl only space so yes, it is odd your son wants to take part. Beavers or cubs would probably be better.

My daughter helped out at beavers, I didn’t think that was odd, of course it’s not odd. I think it is other people’s reaction at it being odd that is odd iyswim. He is enjoying it and under no circumstances would I even suggest his grandma and pp’s on here thinks he is a weirdo. What is wrong with some people😩

“My daughter helped out at beavers, I didn’t think that was odd, of course it’s not odd.”

No, thet isn’t “odd” at all. Because Beavers is a mixed sex organization. Brownies is girls only.

Whether he is lovely, is irrelevant