Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

DS (15) helps with a Brownie pack for his DofE award. Do you think this is a bit odd?

111 replies

ScottishG · 15/09/2018 23:26

DS is 15. Since the beginning of the year he's been helping with a Brownie group for his bronze and silver Duke of Edinburgh award. He really enjoys it and seems to get stuck in with the activities and enjoys getting to know the girls. The leader is a work friend of mine.
I thought nothing of it, in fact I thought it was a good idea, particularly as DS is interested in becoming a paediatrician.
However, my mum seems to think it's a bit weird and has been asking if any of the parents have complained about the girls having a male helper. She can be a bit conservative in her views but it got me thinking. What would you think if a 15 year old boy was helping out at your dd's Brownie group?

OP posts:
crazydoglady6867 · 16/09/2018 07:51

No, thet isn’t “odd” at all. Because Beavers is a mixed sex organization. Brownies is girls only

So a male teacher at an all girls school is odd is it?

museumum · 16/09/2018 07:57

When I was a guider we always had adult males around - lots of the outdoor sports instructors, often leaders husbands etc. At 15 it’s slightly different and to me would be a no-no for guides, fine for rainbows and borderline for brownies. The girls should not have “boys” around as peers. At 15 he’d be a man to rainbows, a boy to guides, not sure about 7-10yr old brownies.

Blankiefan · 16/09/2018 08:07

There is evidence that girl- only environments are beneficial for girls. They can give opportunities for girls to "spread out" into areas they may feel a sense of otherness in a mixed gender group (for example, girls in girl- only schools tend to do better in STEM subjects). I'm supportive of creating girls-only environments so wouldn't love your son volunteering for that reason.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

15 year olds
bookmum08 · 16/09/2018 08:20

He hasn't 'joined the Brownies' he is there as a 'adult' leader. As someone as said the Rainbows certainly wouldn't see him as a 'boy' - to them he would be just another of the grown ups in their lives. The older Brownies would be more aware he isn't an actual 'adult' but would be fully aware he isn't one of the actual Brownies but a leader.
In my daughter's Rainbows there was frequently males around - dads and grandads helping, dads etc there to watch the promises being made, the male husband of the church leader who was often there, the male husband of one of the leaders who helped with some activities because he knew about the subject or activity they were doing...
Plus there always seemed to be someone toddler brother who wanted to join in!

BertrandRussell · 16/09/2018 08:28

“So a male teacher at an all girls school is odd is it“

Nope.

AdventuringThroughLife · 16/09/2018 08:34

A teenage boy helping at Brownies is different to a dad/grandad/vicar helping out as required...

I think the OP may have a different motive for starting these threads.

Newsofas · 16/09/2018 08:35

Because it is a female group.

Yes dads do help out on the odd occasion but not regularly. I’m the mother of 2 boys and I would tell my son to help at beavers, scouts, cadets, explorers, park run etc etc all mixed groups but not brownies. Please let girls have their own space without boys.

PurpleAndTurquoise · 16/09/2018 08:38

I would think your son was great to help out. No one complained when women ran Cubs/Scouts and they were still male only.

EmpressOfSpartacus · 16/09/2018 08:40

I think the single sex nature of the Guiding movement is important

But it's not single sex any more. It's now about "gender".

They've been very clear that males of any age are welcome as long as they identify as women or girls, and conversely that females who don't identify as women or girls should be encouraged to leave.

Cadsuane · 16/09/2018 08:44

Over 25 years ago, when I was Brown Owl, we had a Venture Scout volunteer in our pack for his DofE. It's not a new thing. And yes the rules allow for it.

Cora1942 · 16/09/2018 08:46

As a D of E Helper it is a 6 month role , so not a big deal.
Once he is 18 he can be a unit helper . He can never become a leader as Girlguiding is a ‘girls only organisation’. He can never be a member.

Original poster
ScottishG · 16/09/2018 09:03

Just to clarify I do not have "form" for starting a certain type of thread. If I remember rightly I commented on an on going thread that my son was disappointed not to be doing netball at high school as he and his (male and female) classmates had enjoyed being part of several thriving teams at primary school.
Four years later he now happens to be volunteering at Brownies, purely because I know the leader well, it was straightforward to arrange and I knew she had welcomed male and female DofE helpers before.It's as simple as that.

OP posts:
RueDeWakening · 16/09/2018 09:10

Men can have any role in Guiding that doesn't involve making the promise, our Brownies has a male unit helper, Guides did until recently too. My Rainbows regularly has dads helping. Without them, we wouldn't be able to meet.

If you feel strongly about Guiding being a single sex space, help! www.girlguiding.org.uk/interested will take you to the website where you can register as a volunteer.

Tryingforsleepthief2 · 16/09/2018 09:11

I think it's good. Some of these girls might need a male role model. You have a perfectly valid reason for why he chose and was able to support that group (your friend). There is a clear reason why he is there (DofE) and he is not left supervising them, just helping out. If your friend had an issue with him being there she would presumable not have let him go and if the parents haven't said anything they obviously don't see a problem either.

I hope he enjoys the other activities for his D of E and pursues working with children in the future if that is what he wants.

EmpressOfSpartacus · 16/09/2018 10:23

Men can have any role in Guiding that doesn't involve making the promise

They can make the promise if they say their gender is female. So can boys. Guiding is explicitly not single sex.

InterstellarSleepingElla · 16/09/2018 10:31

It really wouldn't bother me at all and good luck to him with his future career.

CurlsandCurves · 16/09/2018 10:32

As a teen I helped out at Cubs, back when it was boys only.

I don’t see a problem with it. But if he is or the Brownie pack is going against any rules regarding it being a female only space then yes, that needs looking into.

UnderHerEye · 16/09/2018 10:35

Its not a reflection on your son, it’s a reflection that sometimes girls need their own space/environment and activities.

SponsoredFred · 16/09/2018 12:27

It is good for HIM..getting experience, passing of DoE. Not so good for the 10s of girls in the pack, that now DONT experience the benefit of a male free space. Its really selfish IMO

TheDowagerCuntess · 16/09/2018 19:31

It really wouldn't bother me at all and good luck to him with his future career.

It probably wouldn't bother me, and I doubt it would bother DD either.

But that doesn't really mean anything, if it would bother other people.

Just because it doesn't bother you is irrelevant.

MorningsEleven · 16/09/2018 19:52

It's not strange, it's great.

BewareOfDragons · 16/09/2018 19:54

So those saying it's a 'single gender' thing, so males have no business there ...

Are you saying it's the mum's responsibility to be the weekly parent volunteers to keep these troops running, too? That dad's should be there ?

Because You're talking shite if you are.

SponsoredFred · 16/09/2018 22:19

None of the mums are the volunteers that run our pack; they are all ex guides who have gone on to be leaders

BewareOfDragons · 16/09/2018 22:49

All the various scout, cub, brownie etc troops around here require parents to help out weekly via rota. Mums and dads. They couldn't run without them.

Cherryminx · 16/09/2018 23:03

I think it's fine. It's actually quite hard to find things that 15 year old can volunteer for because of safeguarding requirements. Lots of things that used to be allowed aren't anymore.

Scouts/ Guides is one of the fee they can do but if the only group that needs volunteers is brownies then there's not much choice for him.